To be pissed off with my cat

[MozzchopsThirty]

I'm ok when she kills little shrews or small birds, that's what cats do!

Today I got home to what can only be described as a murder scene!!!!!
She had dragged a magpie through the utility room window, it was as big as her!
There was blood everywhere and I mean everywhere, all over the white goods, pools of it on the floor, all up the door, the walls, it was hideous
The bird was twitching on the floor, I got it outside and had to phone the RSPCA as it was suffering but I couldn't kill it!
Ds2 traumatised and wants to bury it tomorrow

It took me 2 hours to clean up, I've locked the cat out and I'm so pissed off!

So far we've had:
2 pigeons
1 small potato
I large potato
a giant crust of bread

Not in the house though, these were left at the backdoor. She's only 18 months and tiny. God knows how she got the pigeons.

I think she realised from my reaction to the pigeons that I'm a vegetarian .

No way would I ever have a cat flap! She has perfected dive bombing the patio doors to get our attention to be let in.

DH was in the kitchen cooking one evening and heard a kerfuffle, went to the door to find our boy trying and failing to force an entire birds nest (empty) through the catflap. Silly twat.

Love this thread. I've never had a cat but did read Anne Fine's 'Diary of a Killer Cat' to dd when she was a child (so often I was almost word perfect), until reading this thread I just thought the author had a good imagination now I think she had her own little bastard cat and downplayed its exploits

report to the police

Mine is called psycho and he lives up to his name.

Mice, rats, moles, worms, rabbits, various dead bits that Im not sure what they came from. These are usually left dead or in severed piles on the front step for me to find in the morning.

He has brought home ping pong balls and a sausage roll that was still warm and in a bag.

His best? weirdest? was a kitten from down the road. It was about 13 weeks old when he carefully carried it in and dropped it in the lounge. I had to knock at various neighbours to find out where she belonged, downside to that is the pair of them now think they own both houses and are both serial killers.

My current cat is a big softie who won’t catch a fly. However previous pussy was a menace. He scowled the big tall trees in the back garden and was actually sat in the magpies birds nest looking extremely smug. He then proceeded to bring every baby magpie down one by one and toss them round the garden. Mum and Dad magpie then took a personal vendetta against him and would go for him every time he went outside. I’m sure they are responsible for his death as they lured him across the main road and he got run over

Current cat is not really a hunter. Last cat once left me a fresh squirrel in the back yard. Little dear.

I hope this works, I have never posted a picture before!

This is what one of our darlings left for us on the dining room floor yesterday morning.

Younger cat is a hunter. thankfully we don’t have a cat flap so the wreckage is always on the outside doorstep.
Once got left an unbroken and still warm blackbird egg, amazed he got it out of nest and to house without breaking it!

Mine never manages to kill anything bigger than a mouse, he leaves those on the mat by the back door all the time. So he brings alive (sometimes slight injured) birds into the house. No matter how much I shout at him he still looks very proud of himself

Your cat is one serious bad-ass, magpies are EVIL motherfuckers and pretty big and pretty vicious and are as likely to have started it as the cat is tbh.

Maybe your cat was actually protecting his home from the cunty bastard Magpie that came in whilst you were gone, planning to take your shit and shit all over your shit... and shit got very real and he had to take that magpie out!

And you repay his magnificence by shutting him out and bitching on here?

Pft!

If it makes anyone feel better about cats’ effects on the bird population, a bird took my mom’s cat

If it doesn't work this time I give up

Oh my god, we have just adopted a 1 year old Maine Coon.

I am not looking forward to being left gifts - not envy.

I never knew cats were such serial killers !

Wannabe Were the potatoes cooked or dug up from someone's garden?

I’ve just remembered the spring of the 40 frogs. She must have systematically emptied a pond of its entire frog population. It was always the dead of night when the frog screaming would start; truly bloodcurdling. We had a lodger that year, who unfortunately had a frog phobia. Big, six foot three guy, knocking on my bedroom door at 3am “Mary! Mary! There’s a frog!” And I’d have to blearily eyed get up and catch it and put it out.

It was just that one spring, never again.

A year later I found a completely flat, dessicated frog under the rug.

When it comes to the "cats destroy our wildlife" utter bullshit, all I think about is the roads lined with roadkill and the tall buildings with beautiful shiny windows birds love flying against. Poison traps and pesticides. Sadly, none of those good souls talks about keeping people indoors, with bells on their clothes.
Mine are currently outside, hunting. Little arseholes.
Plentiful of dead, half dead, whalf eaten and very much alive and pissed off mice.
Dead rats.
Dead and live birds.
Dead bunnies (of the wild variety).
Still, the house has no vermin problem, despite the long winter and proximity of a field.

Just be glad it was only a magpie. A friend's cat once dragged a seagull through the cat flap and proceeded to murder it all over their brand-new kitchen. Friend's younger brother was sleeping in a room off the kitchen at the time (renovating the whole house) and slept through the whole thing. The seagull was at least 3 times the size of the cat!

Mine started bringing things back after having a litter of kittens. Had people over to choose a kitten and mum jumped through the window with a pigeon and started to call the kittens to come and eat!

It was swiftly removed but perhaps a reminder to the people that cats are predators!

I'm so pleased mine are lazy fuckers- they have never caught a thing between the 3 of them.

My cat was awful for hunting. He once killed a magpie and my garden turned into a horror film with all the fellow magpies swooping down trying to stop it and then they sat on the fence for 2 days, staring at the house. I felt awful. They were genuinely mourning.

Mine are horrid. I used to live in a flat so they were indoor cats. Moved to our house and it has been a bloodbath ever since. On a daily basis in our conservatory, I find mice intestines, usually one leg and a tail let behind. Yesterday there was a pile of feathers under the chair but no sign of a bird. I've hunted high and low but can't find the remains, not even a blood splatter.

I put the cats on lock down during the summer, I have to have doors closed as I once had a small bird flying around the house, shitting everywhere! 🤢 I usually spend my time screaming "No thank you" at my cats as I try to prevent dcat from bringing in her latest 'gift'.

Can a magpie be brought through the average cat flap. It's not big enough surely

Definitely could fit a fox anyway...

My parents' cat killed a duck once!

@MadMary - we found a flattened mouse under one of our rugs. God knows how long it had been there!

I love my two cats, but they are both serial killers & we regularly have to check our (unhelpfully patterned) carpet so we don’t step on anything in the morning. I was in a rush one morning & hadn’t noticed something in my shoe until a few hours later at work - it turned out to be a flattened worm! Both cats started with worms strangely, then escalated.....

The strangest thing (apart from the usual suspects) was a bat that had been brought in by our tortie. We took it to the vets to check it over & luckily it was fine - apart from two tooth marks! It was the sweetest thing to see it hanging upside down from the tea towel I’d put in its recovery cardboard box. We put it on top of our shed roof & it was gone the next morning.