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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About Nanny

85 replies

Hedger · 04/04/2018 14:44

Our DC are away for a couple of days with grandparents. These are days when our nanny usually looks after them. As it was short notice, we told our nanny she could either take the two days as part of her holiday allowance (paid), or take them off unpaid or she could work those days at home sorting out the children’s toys, clothes, tidying their bedrooms, etc. They have loads of toys which are in bits strewn throughout the house, in need of new batteries, clothes which no longer fit, need ironing, folding etc.

She doesn’t really do those things while looking after the children (even though she has two hours in the middle of the day when our youngest is asleep and our eldest is at school) but we are pretty relaxed generally about that. So I thought these two days would be a chance to catch up on this type of thing and if I am paying her for them I would rather she do something useful rather than me paying her to do nothing!

Anyway, this hasn’t gone down very well and she says it is normal if the children are away for the nanny to have the day off (paid - and not as part of their holiday allowance).

Who is being unreasonable?!

OP posts:
socialconstruction · 04/04/2018 14:45

We always pay our nanny. Sorry!

Nottheduchessofcambridge · 04/04/2018 14:49

Paid but give her something else to do.

UnsinkableRubberDuck · 04/04/2018 14:49

We have in the past just let our nanny have the paid time off but that was at our discretion. She never expected it or said she was entitled to it. I think it would be reasonable for your nanny to come in and do some ‘nursery’ chores. Maybe give them a late start/earlier finish if you like.

KatharinaRosalie · 04/04/2018 14:53

If tidying DC's things is part of her job description then I really don't see why she should not be working just because DC are away.

Original poster
Hedger · 04/04/2018 14:53

Thanks - yes I did say when it is all done she could leave early as no point in her sitting around doing nothing but I feel that while there is work which falls within “nanny duties” then it is fair to ask her to do it when the children are away. Seemed a bit cheeky to me to be annoyed I was asking her to work when I am paying her!

It’s all jobs I would have to do myself otherwise and I work really hard in order to pay for a nanny so not sure why I should be doing her chores for her in my spare time when she has the day off paid!

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tissuesosoft · 04/04/2018 14:54

I would pay. Plus the two hours when your youngest is asleep means your nanny can have a lunch break for most of that ? Especially if she’s doing long hours. With the toys etc, I understand it’s part of a typical nanny role but as one of your children are school age, can’t they assist with tidying their toys?

DragonMummy1418 · 04/04/2018 14:56

A 2 hour lunch break?? Is that a joke!

I'd insist she took it as holiday leave or did some work for her money.

Or tell her that you can find another nanny, there's plenty around! 😊

Excited101 · 04/04/2018 14:56

YABU. if she isn't on top of her duties you need to speak to her about it separately. It's is very expected that she should be able to have the days off as a bonus. That was your choice, not hers.

Nicknacky · 04/04/2018 14:56

2 days cleaning is not nanny work! It’s your choice that the children aren’t there, you should pay her.

How are all those minor jobs the nannies responsibility?!

Fabpinky · 04/04/2018 14:57

My nanny contract states I get to choose 10 days annual leave and my employers get to choose 10 days. Does yours not say something like this? I'm sure that's generally how it goes. If she doesn't want to clean the toys like you have suggested then pay her and deduct it from your share of the annual leave?

user1493413286 · 04/04/2018 14:57

I think it’s fair that if she’s being paid she comes in and does the things she doesn’t normally get round to; it’s not like you’re asking her to do housework and it’ll be an easier day than looking after the children

Llanali · 04/04/2018 14:57

I don’t employ a nanny but was employed as a mothers help when I was younger, and whilst I appreciate that it’s not quite the same, I think you are being reasonable. You have provided her a number of options from which to make her choice.

tissuesosoft · 04/04/2018 14:58

@dragonmummy, I would think at least an hour lunch break whilst the child is sleeping is pretty fair

Original poster
Hedger · 04/04/2018 15:00

Tissuesoft They are only 2 and 5 and the 5 year old has autism so they are not that helpful around the house!

To me, a 2 hour paid lunch break is a long time. I would expect her to be doing these type of chores for at least an hour of that time. She does do a bit of cooking during that time to be fair but there is definitely time to do some of the chores then. But as I say, we never mention it - I would just like her to catch up on them now the children are away.

OP posts:
tissuesosoft · 04/04/2018 15:03

That’s understandable with the new information. I didn’t say she should take a two hour lunch though...

Original poster
Hedger · 04/04/2018 15:03

Nicknacky These are all nanny jobs - within her contract and perfectly standard in a nanny role. It’s not cleaning.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hedger · 04/04/2018 15:05

Fabpinky Yes our contract does say that - she gets to choose half her holiday days and we get to choose the other half. But because we didn’t give her much notice we wanted to give her the choice of having it unpaid, or as paid holiday or doing the nanny chores.

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Pengggwn · 04/04/2018 15:06

It's not generous but you're within your rights. I do think you've got a bit of a cheek saying she takes a 2 hour lunch break when, actually, she cooks during that time.

Thebluedog · 04/04/2018 15:10

I pay mine and she has the day off in those circumstances

Lizzie48 · 04/04/2018 15:10

Personally I would tackle her about the things she doesn't do on a regular basis, but separately. The 2 days off should be paid and not part of her annual allowance. She didn't ask for the time off.

I'm thinking about how I would handle it, having an au pair myself atm.

DragonMummy1418 · 04/04/2018 15:10

2 hours for lunch is ridiculous, 1 hour is ok (I have 30 minutes in a 8.5 hour day) and I'd be expecting her to tidy up after the kids in that time!

Just tell her the only options are the ones you've offered.

Nicknacky · 04/04/2018 15:10

But two full days worth?! I think I would just extend her some goodwill and give her a couple of days off.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 04/04/2018 15:11

If they covered in her contract as duties she has no argument. You could also remind her that these jobs should be done as part of her normal day.

DragonMummy1418 · 04/04/2018 15:11

No one in 'regular' jobs get a random day off paid just for nothing.

Original poster
Hedger · 04/04/2018 15:12

Nicknacky I said she could leave early once the jobs are done. I expect it would take at least a day to do it all. But if it’s done then I woukdnt make her come and sit around doing nothing!

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