About Nanny

[Hedger]

Our DC are away for a couple of days with grandparents. These are days when our nanny usually looks after them. As it was short notice, we told our nanny she could either take the two days as part of her holiday allowance (paid), or take them off unpaid or she could work those days at home sorting out the children’s toys, clothes, tidying their bedrooms, etc. They have loads of toys which are in bits strewn throughout the house, in need of new batteries, clothes which no longer fit, need ironing, folding etc.

She doesn’t really do those things while looking after the children (even though she has two hours in the middle of the day when our youngest is asleep and our eldest is at school) but we are pretty relaxed generally about that. So I thought these two days would be a chance to catch up on this type of thing and if I am paying her for them I would rather she do something useful rather than me paying her to do nothing!

Anyway, this hasn’t gone down very well and she says it is normal if the children are away for the nanny to have the day off (paid - and not as part of their holiday allowance).

Who is being unreasonable?!

It’s not really a 2 hour lunch break though, if she’s cooking and also keeping an ear out for your dc. It’s not like she can nip out to do some shopping or for a walk as you could with a lunch break in any other job.

I would 50 50 it - not that I have a Nanny - but if she comes in and does the sorting/tidying for a day I would let the second day go given that it was such short notice etc.

I don’t want to make it sound like she doesn’t do any tidying at all - toys are put away at the end of each day but it’s more things like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle not being in the right box, trains which need new batteries, clothes which could do with being folded rather than scrunched up in drawers etc!

I don’t suppose I am being particularly generous but having a nanny is so expensive I would like her to do her nanny jobs when I am paying her! I hardly ever get any time to myself - I am either working long hours in an office or looking after the children so it would be a shame for me to have to spend my free time doing all that stuff when I am paying a nanny!

She is being ridiculous. She will be paid and instead of taking care of kids she sorts out kids stuff which is generally part of nanny role anyway. In most jobs you would be expected to find something useful to do during your working hours. I would stick to your guns but obviously say she is welcome to leave early when she has finished.

I think it's quite fair as you have given her the opportunity to be paid for those two days and tidy the DC's rooms. In other places of work if there is no work people aren't usually sent home or allowed to take a paid holiday. No she is being cheeky IMHO.

Were your parents/ inlaws able to have your kids on another day?

VivienneMary That’s true - in my office job if there is no work to do (highly unusual!) I would not just leave the office - I would stay in the office my contracted hours.

You’re fine - she’s not.

Our nanny-days are long gone but ours were responsible for (some of) the children’s washing, sorting out outgrown clothes, clearing through out-grown toys etc.

At least one of the unexpected two days spent sorting & tidying children’s rooms & things is par for the course if she still wants paying..

I'm a Nanny and it's a pet hate to refer to nap time as a lunch break. We're still on duty if the kids are sleeping, we have to stay within earshot of them and it's not like we can exactly do what we want.

when i was a nanny i would have been paid and told not to come in , but if they need nanny jobs done ,i would have done them and left early before my bosses came home , as for the 2 hour lunch , i used to take 1hr 45 mins when the littlest slept as i wouldnt get a break all day from 730 am to 6pm , with all the school runs and general nanny duties and entertaining the 4 kids ,
i was very lucky as my boss was wonderful and always said its "swings and round abouts" as some times if she was on call id drop everything and go cover, id work late and even work weekends ,which wasnt our contract , they are all grown up now and 18 years later im still in contact and have a special relationship with the youngest that i looked after from 12 weeks

I am a nanny.
Personally I’d quite like the chance to have two days at work to sort through toys and clothes (although as the nanny it is actually quite hard to do this- I would put everything to one side for you to check over before talking to a charity shop) with no children around to get in the way.
You are entitled to ask her to do this, it is definitely within nursery duties, however in practice it is VERY rare for a family to actually ask this of their nanny. I have always been given extra holiday if the children aren’t there and I don’t know any other Nanny who has ever been asked to go in when the children aren’t there so I can see why she might be annoyed.
If you expect that it’s about a days work then maybe suggest that she have one day off or works two half days or something like that instead. I’d be worried about leaving early or not coming in one day unless my employer explicitly told me it was okay.

I wouldn’t expect her to get around to those sorts of jobs very often during her normal hours, I easily fill naptime with normal day to day tasks, kids washing, cooking dinner, tidying toys, planning activities, eating my own lunch.

You've posted in AIBU rather than in the Nannies section, and I often think you get very different responses on the whole in each of those boards.

I think you've been fair - we have employed a nanny for 9 years now and we've always done the same split as regards holiday as you, nanny chooses half of her holiday days and we choose the other half. And the duties you've outlined are the same as those in oir nanny contract. Fair enough that the nanny doesn't want to take these two days as part of her annual leave, but you've given the choice between coming in and unpaid leave.

We've generally given our nannies these types of days as extra holiday (paid). But that doesn't mean that you have to. I understand what you are saying, but do you think coming in one day and having the other off is a decent middle ground? There was one time though that we asked our nanny to come in on one of the three days that she was being given over and above her holidays entitlement to do some batch cooking and iron the children's clothes. I didn't mind which day, what hours or whatever, and she did that. Another nanny we had came in of her own accord during these types of days and did a spring clean of the playroom - basically doing the things you've outlined.

Do you think she is unhappy in other ways? Is she a great nanny in other ways?

UnsuspectedItem Sure she is having to listen out for when the 2 year old wakes up but she could do that whilst sorting clothes just as easily as she could sitting on the sofa reading a magazine! Anyway, as I say, I’m not really fussed about it (and I am actually a very laid back employer, I like to think!) but would just like her to catch up on things now the children are away.

I would let her have the days off paid. If you have not expected her to fold clothes and sort toys before then why do you now consider it "nanny work"?

It sounds as though her role is to look after the children and do day to day tidying up. If you were expecting more then you should have raised it with her.

As for her lunch break, she is still responsible for your child in that time so it's not really time off at all.

I would let her have the time off paid.

YANBU, however if she is wonderful with your children I would give her the extra days off as a goodwill gesture. I would want my nanny to feel highly valued.

I suppose if she's available to Nanny but can't because the children aren't there than that isn't her fault, but it depends if the jobs you're asking her to do fall within her usual role - if not then it's a bit cheeky and I'd just give her the time off paid.

Youradviceneeded She is a fairly good nanny - she is caring and loves the children which is the main thing for us. She’s not the most reliable (quite often late) and could probably do more in terms of nanny admin but we are pretty laid back about all that. I think she is pretty happy with us (I hope)...

Personally I would ask her to come in for one day and have the other off

I must have been naive when I had a Nanny for my DD as I paid her when she took time off. :/

My brother lived in Thailand and had a live in nanny. Once when I visited the nanny was cleaning the paintwork as the children were at school and my brother couldn't bear to be paying for her to sit and relax!

As a nanny and as an adviser to nannies, I personally feel you are right to tell your employee to come in to work and do other reasonable duties.

Your contract will typically provide you with the ability to tell your nanny to do other reasonable duties. So contractually you are within your rights.

Depending on how your contract is worded, you may or may not have the right to suggest to your nanny that they take days off as paid holiday or to take them as unpaid leave.

She’s not the most reliable
That is rather concerning as being reliable is a necessary trait for most nannies as parents rely on them to arrive on time to start their working day.

YANBU to ask her to come in to work and do other child associated duties.

We would pay - not holiday, we pay 365 days a year.

We would give her other tasks to do.

I think that the blurred lines are easier as she is a housekeeper / mothers help when the children are at school.

I don't think you're being unreasonable. If she starts examining her contract and working to rule then it's time to look for a replacement. That isn't the way jobs like these work best.

Thanks Nannynick - I’ve seen you give good advice on nanny threads before so that is comforting!

We have previously just given our nanny paid time off if we decide to take the children somewhere for a half day etc. so we wouldn’t always ask this - I just feel their stuff needs a bit of an overhaul!

YANBU as long as the 2 days count as 2 of the 10 days that you get to chose.