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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask over 40s how they feel about their hair?

89 replies

AjasLipstick · 04/04/2018 14:14

I'm 45 and this year my long hair just looks awful. It's the texture of a horses tail thanks to me dying the greys at home. It's very, very thick and dry anyway...so now I must be 80% grey, it's worse.

I'm going to have to get the chop. I'm really nervous because though I am attractive, my jawline isn't what it was...last bob I had about 5 years ago drew attention to my jawline being less than sharp!

I am thinking of something a bit funky though....I'm not a particularly conservative dresser...more likely to be seen in big boots and slightly vintage clothing than anything expensive and posh.

What style?? I want some length on top! NOT a bob though.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
diymania · 04/04/2018 15:21

46 here. Probably about 40-50% grey which I home dye. My hairdresser told me to only dye my whole head about 1 in 3 times, and the rest of the times just dye the roots and so I don't seem to have developed the darker at the ends two tone colour (so far!). I've got a colour I'm really happy with too.

My hair is uber thick and straight. Had it mid length until a few years ago and then on a bored whim chopped it a bit shorter and then a bit shorter still - so now it's officially bobbed. I have it cut every 8 weeks religiously as I don't think I can get away with it looking straggy these days.

I use any old shampoo, but about once a week I'll use Richard ward keratin sleek shampoo and conditioner and every now and again use his keratin luminiser shampoo. That makes my hair feel and behave much better. However, should say my mum tried it on my recommendation and found it too heavy for her hair, so it might not be for everyone.

Danglingmod · 04/04/2018 15:22

Mid forties, don't dye my hair at all and I think it's in its best condition ever. All my similar aged friends say the same. I think if it's really thick you don't need the dye as it makes it thicker and drier?

NorthEndGal · 04/04/2018 15:24

I'm 40, with thin, dead straight dark blonde hair, and a few silver hairs. I leave them alone, my hair is so thin from being on methotrexate that I need to keep every one!
I wish I had more body to my hair, but it is what it is, so I try and focus on other stuff instead.
If I had thick hair, I'd never stop playing with it, in different styles, lovely fat braids and stuff

cnuts · 04/04/2018 15:26

I'm 42 and my hair is currently top of boob length (if that's a style!). This thread has really made me think though as I don't take care of it at all - it's in good condition, but I'm usually - let it grow, it's hard work, get a bob... but I don't think my jawline could take a bob now either. I used to have pixie cuts. Yep I got fat :D
So... after a lot of waffle my opinion is - go see a hairdresser, they can give you some condition and oomph back - just don't chop it all off!

Keilninnock · 04/04/2018 15:27

I know this sounds silly but my hairdresser forced me to get some blood tests when my extensions were shedding at the root. My thyroid was out and i now take B12 and iron and uts much better

Original poster
AjasLipstick · 04/04/2018 15:51

Well I've messaged a salon I was recommended and will update once I've been and got the chop. I'm definitely doing it. I hate this hair! If I don't like the way it looks, at least I can start afresh! It grows very quickly too.

OP posts:
cupcake007 · 04/04/2018 16:07

I have very thick, wavy, uncontrollable hair. I'm 40 this year and got fed up of my very long, old lady hair last week. I had it cut into a long inverted bob. The hairdresser really thinned it out and suggested some products to make it sleeker and easier to manage. I really love it.

Gemini69 · 04/04/2018 16:07

Oohhh good luck I'm excited too lol Flowers

hazeyjane · 04/04/2018 16:17

I am 48, and stopped dying my hair a couple of years ago, it is very streaky grey, I actually love the colour, and it is in great condition (after years of bleaching it platinum blonde)

I have it shaved at the sides and long on top, a sort of distinguished grey Mohican!

Oblomov18 · 04/04/2018 16:19

Count Yourself lucky you've got thick hair! I've got thin hair and as I get older and older it is getting less and less!!

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 04/04/2018 16:22

If you have thick hair do not get layers! They will make your hair stick out like a mushroom.

The best way to wear thick hair is to have a long style with longer layers that are not above your shoulder.

Birdsgottafly · 04/04/2018 16:31

If anyone does waves, as in Distorted picture, could you tell me how you do them?

I'm 50, I've been seriously ill, so my hair has thinned out. I have it coloured at the hairdressers. To make it look thicker, one colour and collarbone length.

Cutesbabasmummy · 04/04/2018 16:37

I'm 42 and I have a pixie crop. Very easy to do every day. It's also coloured white blonde. I was red for 3 years but I decided I liked the blonde better! I guess my hair is a bit Annie Lennox but slightly longer.

zeebeedee · 04/04/2018 16:38

The condition of mine got much much better when I stopped dying it! I'm in my late 40's and dyed my hair at home from 30 to 42ish. It was a nice colour, but always dry and brittle. Now it's white/grey at the front and darker further back, but it's bouncy and shiny!
It is curly/wavy and is in a kind of inverted bob too

ghostyslovesheets · 04/04/2018 16:51

I'm very lucky with my hair as it's thick but in good condition despite being very grey now

I do have it dyed professionally - it's shoulder length, light brown/dark blonde with light blonde ombre - layered and I dry it in loose waves

it's the only 'beauty' thing I spend money on

noeffingidea · 04/04/2018 16:53

58, and I quite like mine. Still thick and mostly dark. I cut it myself, following a couple of videos on youtube. I did overdo it last time and cut it too short, but it'll soon grow back.
I would suggest you discuss it with your hairdresser first, OP. Look at a few pictures and ask them what they think.

Drainedandconfused · 04/04/2018 17:38

I'm 42 this month and my hair has never looked better, I stopped straightening it about a year ago and have started wearing it naturally curly (I used to hate it when I was younger) i have never had so many compliments as I have since. It's recovered well from years of heat damage, I have lots of grey so have a full head of highlights every 18 weeks and a t bar every 6 weeks in between. It's midway down my back and spiral curls. I can report no change in thickness as I've got older. My DM still has a thick head of curly hair which is tinted a caramel colour because she is mostly grey, fingers crossed I take after her.

AugustRose · 04/04/2018 17:58

I'm almost 44 and have long straight (slight wave if left to dry naturally), brown hair and I like it. Luckily I am only starting to get a few greys now an have never died my hair and don't think I will.

My DM has been home dying her hair for about 25 years and the hairdresser has told her it's in such bad condition that it could fall out!

I have layers cut in the bottom but am thinking of having layers throughout next time - I will not have it cut short as I just don't suit short hair. Having long hair does mean it is tied up a lot. My only problem is I have a Cow's lick right in the middle which can make it look odd sometimes and do straighten that bit.

mrsBeverleyGoldberg · 04/04/2018 20:14

I have really long hair and dye it at home. I use a lot of conditioner, but the best thing is leave in conditioner. I've got frizz ease leave in conditioner and it's really good. Also start taking multi vitamins so it grows strong.

Mydoghatesthebath · 04/04/2018 20:22

Age just over 50. Absolutkry have my hair coloured professionally every 6 weeks with light brown blond tones. Shoulder length and thick but never ever use straightener or hot curlers or hot dryer. That kills hair.

Use root spray every other week to stop grey roots.

Use big bouncy curlers to get lift.

Grey no way

ChiaraRimini · 04/04/2018 21:07

I'm 44 and similar hair to you Op. I have a semi permanent at the salon which is also conditioning and leaves it shinier. Ask the salon what they think. I've recently had mine cut to shoulder length with shaping around the face which is more flattering than a bob. Unless long hair is in perfect condition it can look a bit bag lady like as you get older IMHO

ChiaraRimini · 04/04/2018 21:09

I've just seen you are 80% grey so a semi permanent isn't going to work.

Disabrie22 · 04/04/2018 21:13

My fortieth birthday present to myself was the Toni and Guy Nanokeratin treatment - have wanted it for ages as I’m really quite grey under the hair dye and my grey hair is very wiry. I’ve felt like my hair has aged dramatically in the last six years. The treatment was a bit annoying as it took a long time to do and you can’t wash your hair for four days but it’s definately improved the look of it and made it more manageable.

haverhill · 04/04/2018 21:13

48 this year. My hair is the longest it’s ever been ( not that long), coloured and in great condition. I’ve discovered co- washing keeps my hair in good nick so that I can have it longer without it looking like parched straw.

EnormousDormouse · 04/04/2018 21:14

I'm 47 (I think..)
I got shown how to do my roots by a hairdresser who said that doing the whole head leads to dye build up and is not good for the hair. I am quite good at doing it now and it is of course as cheap as chips.

Alternatively look for a 'Celly's' salon who will do roots (up to 2 inches) for £11.
Just had my hair cut there this morning (again for £11!) and it looks surprisingly good.