Compassionate leave for loss of baby at 17 +6

[Aloneandscared25]

Yesterday morning I lost my baby girl, at home we have another daughter who requires around the clock care and is scheduled to go to surgery on Friday.
My partner who quite frankly right now is a broken man has been refused compassionate leave and apparently by law
Our little girl was under 24 weeks gestation so doesn’t count as a “ loss of child “
Requiring compassionate leave.
They have said he can’t have the next few days off due to staffing however next week can take a few days holiday as he wish.
AIBU to be angry, I just want him at home with us.

I’m so sorry. I lost my second baby at 16 weeks and was told I could have as long as I needed off . My partner also got a few days off . It’s really not fair your oh’s work are being like that .

I'm so very sorry for your loss. This link might help as he may be entitled to paternity leave: www.workingfamilies.org.uk/articles/ordinary-paternity-leave-pay-for-birth/#Can%20I%20go%20on%20Paternity%20Leave%20if%20my%20partner%20had%20a%20miscarriage%20or%20the%20baby%20dies?

Outrageous. I'm so sorry.

That's terrible, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I'm sure the GP will sign him off.

What heartless bastards to refuse him.

I’m so sorry for your loss

I had similar issues when I lost my little boy at 21 weeks - 2 days compassionate leave and then several weeks of sick leave. DH and I were both signed off by the GP over the phone, though DH returned sooner than me and I needed a phased return with reduced hours - for several month longer than I expected.

Take care of yourself.

Nothing more to add apart from to say your husband's work are bastards. There might be no legal requirement but surely there is a moral one.

Sorry for your loss

So so sorry for your loss .

His employers are being absolute cunts. My DP was given a weeks compassionate leave following my two miscarriages and they were at 11 and 12 weeks. They should be far more understanding than this, it’s really sad they’re not.

Tell him to go to the gp and asked to be signed off with stress xxx

I'm sorry to hear about your baby girl

He can self certify as sick for a week, (assuming you are UK) I would then be seeing a dr about getting signed off fitter.

Sorry for your loss 💐

I'm so so sorry to hear of your loss . As per other posters I would get your GP to sign off your husband with stress especially given your daughter's forthcoming operation - I hope all goes well.

I'm so sorry for your loss

Legally they're right however in your DH situation I'd ask the gp for a weeks sick line.

Hats terrible op
Get dh signed off
But I wouldn’t get it for stress I’d ask the gp to state the reason as breavement

Reason I wouldn’tsay stress as I think stress and depression can be held against you
It shouldn’t and certainly not under gear circumstances
But bereavement will be far better for the future x also sands are great

Unless it would identify the OPs husband, perhaps the employer ought to be named and shamed.

And then the law changed.

I’m so sorry for the loss of your little girl. Have you picked a name for her? Your DH should ring in sick as op have said he can self certify for 7 days. Work would have to sort it if he was laid up physically so they can sort this. Hope your daughters surgery goes well on Friday

Agree with others re sick note from GP. I tend to write “adjustment reaction to bereavement.” Putting “stress” on a med 3 can trigger more hassle from some employers, referrals to occupational health services etc.

I’m so sorry for your loss

Oh, OP, I am sorry, what a sad situation.

I can see it’s difficult if he does direct face to face work, and doubtless othe people are off on holiday given the Easter timing.

And as a Pp said, it is going to be tricky being absent after being declined leave,

Is there anyone else who can come and be with you? Mum, sister, friend? And get through these hard 3 days and then take time off when your other Dc is recovering from surgery?

If he explains how unwell and exhausted you are, would they allow him to leave early, for example? Or cut hours in other ways?

Here

To everyone who thinks this is outrageous
And I think that’s every single one of us
Please look at this
It’s a campaign to introduce breavement leave to the uk
Please have a look
It’s for staturoy breavement leave

Heretwo

How awful. He can self certify himself for 7 days with stress, and then get the gp to sign him off if needs be.

I can understand there needs to be a cut off point in law, but it seems very heartless.

Terribly sorry for your loss

Unfortunately compassionate leave is not guaranteed and depends on your workplace. I would recommend going to the GP to get signed off. That way, your DH will have a set period of time off and the workplace cannot do anything about it.

How dreadful - my heart goes out to you all. Is your DH safe to be at work today? His understandable grief may place both him and the residents at risk if he isn't able to concentrate fully - it's a risky profession to be in at the best of times.

I think he should definitely call in sick, and remind his manager of the risks posed by working under such difficult circumstances. The management wouldn't have a leg to stand on if something terrible happened.
Good luck for Friday's surgery xx

I’m so sorry for your loss.

I agree with PP about your DH taking sick leave. It doesn’t need to be for stress though as a miscarriage is a bereavement in its own right.

Are your work being sympathetic towards you? Your pregnancy protection rights in employment generally cover you for a fortnight (or more) after a miscarriage. Thinking of you and your family.

I’m so sorry for your loss.
Your dh should go to his gp for a sick note. I don’t think for one moment the gp would refuse.
I can’t believe a uk employer would be so callous.