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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why the whole family go supermarket shopping?

506 replies

turnipfarmers · 01/04/2018 17:00

I tend to shop without my children as it's easier; I get that lone parents have to take their children with them but what I can't make sense of is why you see two adults with several children in tow at the supermarket?

Shopping with children for the weekly shop doesn't seem to be much of a pleasurable experience to me and it's probably not that fun for the children so why do people do it?

OP posts:
windchimesabotage · 01/04/2018 17:26

My dad and me always used to sit in the cafe and have hot chocolate and read magazines whilst my mum did the big food shop. It was lovely. But as an adult I realise that actually why on earth was my mum left to do all the boring stuff whilst we got to have fun?
No way am I letting my husband or son think that they do not have responsibility over the buying of household items. Im sure we would all love to sit in a cafe or stay at home and watch tv but the house is everyones responsibility.
I suppose I could do a list and we could take it in turns but then the kids dont see it happening. My son is only a toddler but I am anxious that he does not grow up thinking that it is 'womans work' nor that he grows up oblivious to the effort put into running a house.

gluteustothemaximus · 01/04/2018 17:26

Um, we do family shopping. To be honest, money is tight, so 'going out' has to be a free event. The park. The supermarket. The pet store.

The kids are super well behaved, we all have a lovely chat. It's nice.

Deshasafraisy · 01/04/2018 17:26

Because it’s a life skill that children need taught.
Because they are on their way home after a day out.
Because families struggle for time together as it is and they enjoy it.
And so on

RoseWhiteTips · 01/04/2018 17:27

Training a son for university? Did I just read this? Grin
Whatever happened to finding things out for yourself - like the incredibly difficult task of packing a bag?

🙄

justaguy · 01/04/2018 17:27

Completely agree. I tend to shop on my own on a Friday night, when my kids are in bed. I’m constantly amazed at the number of couples trudging round Tesco at 10pm shouting at their tired, emotional children while they do a massive shop. Why?

MissWilmottsGhost · 01/04/2018 17:28

We go shopping as a family. We don't find it horrible, we always have a bit of a laugh. DD likes to make a list and tick things off as we go. Sometimes we stop at the cafe for a hot chocolate too.

We seem to be a weird minority who actually like each other and enjoy each others company though. Other couples seem to hate each other except when having sex, and can't seem to stand their own children for more than two minutes.

We are also saddos who socialise together as a couple and hold hands in public.

CatLadyToddlerMother · 01/04/2018 17:28

I go shopping with my DM and Elderly granddad and have always taken my 2 year old with me as before ExH and I split he always worked and now I'm on my own can't leave her home alone.

I go to help my granddad mainly because my DM buggers off and does her own thing most of the time. DD loves it as Granddad always buys her a cake or lolly at the end of the shop. She's very well behaved though, she has to either sit in the trolley or hold my hand when we walk round, if she shouts or gets upset I find my mum to help my granddad and take DD out to the car.

GummyGoddess · 01/04/2018 17:28

@missmouse101 sometimes DH and I both pick up dc from nursery, dc really likes it.

eurochick · 01/04/2018 17:29

He cooks (I don't) And likes to select the meat and fish and poke around for new inspiration. I drive (he doesn't). So we both have to go. And apparently leaving three year olds home alone is frowned upon, so she comes too.

NutElla5x · 01/04/2018 17:29

Maybe only one of the parents drive but the other one is more adept at shopping.Maybe neither drive and the two of them are needed to carry the shopping home.Maybe they are going on somewhere straight from shopping.Maybe they just like shopping together as a family.Who knows big nose?

IHaveBrilloHair · 01/04/2018 17:29

Thing is, discussing what to buy where I live means your kids whining for nuggets/yoghurts/grabbing the baked goods whilst they run under my trolley, snot on the fruit, and you say, "oh please don't do that, Mummy said no", for an hour, whilst I'm considering poisoning all the food in your trolley.

SarahSiddons · 01/04/2018 17:29

“They do it on the way back from somewhere else?”

This is why you’ll find us at the supermarket as a family. Not every time but occasionally.

“I just presume it's a control thing. So one doesn't trust the other to do it sufficiently/ allow them out alone, so insists on going everywhere with them.”

This is a bit of a leap! Do you often find yourself jumping to extreme conclusions from the mundane details of other people’s lives?

GrouchyKiwi · 01/04/2018 17:30

My children (6, 3 and 1) love going to the supermarket. We go as a family maybe once a month (do online shopping otherwise, or DH will take 2 of the 3 with him). They like looking at the fish, choosing fruit & vegetables, finding new things to try. I like to encourage them to find joy in the little things of life so a family trip to the supermarket is thus a pleasurable thing for all of us.

slippermaiden · 01/04/2018 17:31

When my children were small either my husband or I would go in the evening. Opportunity for peace and quiet for me if I went!

dustarr73 · 01/04/2018 17:31

God i hate bringing the kids but sometimes needs must.

But normally we get the kids to bed and we go shopping.We get it done in half the time.Much better.

missmouse101 · 01/04/2018 17:31

@Gummy, of course occasionally it's lovely but I said every day! They do it every day!!! Confused

PonderLand · 01/04/2018 17:32

I don't drive and my partner doesn't 'do' lists so I have to be there for the big shop. We go for one big shop every two weeks with all 3 of us and we both get stuff through the week separately.

happymumof4crazykids · 01/04/2018 17:33

We do it as my oh works away and I don't drive. We go food shopping when he's home with the youngest 2 as we don't have much time together and actually enjoy being in each other's company. In all honesty I can think of a million other things we would rather do but shopping is something that just has to be done Hmm

Idontdowindows · 01/04/2018 17:34

It was part of learning how to be an adult. Prepare a shopping list, check the cupboards, the fridge, the freezer, figure out how much we needed to get through the week, then go to the shops and find the bargains, find the best possible price for everything.

Then go home and teach them how to cook with what we've just bought. It's part of teaching your children the skills they need when they grow up and that is actually part of being a parent.

Mine have been cooking since they were 8 or 9 and could be relied upon to do the meal shop at around 10 or 11.

The littler ones would help out with the peeling or the washing and drying.

Teaching children how a household works is a pretty good idea and the (weekly/daily) shopping is a part of that.

Urubu · 01/04/2018 17:34

We like to decide together what we buy.
Also we'd rather spend the time together than have one adult go to the supermarket and the other watch the DC. It is not a chore, we all enjoy going shopping.

Eggzandbacon · 01/04/2018 17:34

I never went food shopping as a small child. I occasionally went when I was a teen. I’m perfectly able to do it as an adult - children don’t need to go to ‘learn’.

I don’t take DD - she comes to corner shop etc to pick up bits of course and can follow a list.
I can’t think of anything worse than taking her for the constant moaning.

PonderLand · 01/04/2018 17:34

'Maybe only one of the parents drive but the other one is more adept at shopping' @NutElla5x that's me and dp.

arethereanyleftatall · 01/04/2018 17:35

I think this becomes a problem when the reason the whole family go, is because it's 'not fair' for just one of the grown ups to do it - ie if I'm gonna have a miserable time, then we're all going to. That's the attitude I don't like.

WaxOnFeckOff · 01/04/2018 17:35

I can understand why sometimes people need to do it, but I wouldn't want to if i had a choice. When I didn't drive DH would go on his own, then when I was driving I went on my own . Kids learn how to shop when you are just out for a few things/pop in on the way back from somewhere.

Narkle · 01/04/2018 17:35

Umm. Coz' we like it.

It's a learning experience for the kids, teaches responsibility, manners, self-control and a whole heap of things. Mind, I would let them run around the shop. Either they help or they go in the trolley.

And yes, during the week, it's one of the few times DH and I actually get to spend time together. The sad reaility of a busy full-time working couple.