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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why the whole family go supermarket shopping?

506 replies

turnipfarmers · 01/04/2018 17:00

I tend to shop without my children as it's easier; I get that lone parents have to take their children with them but what I can't make sense of is why you see two adults with several children in tow at the supermarket?

Shopping with children for the weekly shop doesn't seem to be much of a pleasurable experience to me and it's probably not that fun for the children so why do people do it?

OP posts:
REBECCAB123 · 02/04/2018 22:53

Totally agree with you OP!

hummusscot · 02/04/2018 22:56

Both my partner and I are disabled so we make up maybe 1.5 of a person if we shop together. I imagine when we have children we will have to take them as nobody else will be able to and neither of us are able to do it alone.

Turismo · 02/04/2018 23:44

I used to quite like taking the children to the supermarket when they were small. I had a wife who worked nightshifts so I’d go when she was in bed. One in the trolley and the other one asking questions about this and that. They’re 31 and 28 now and I wish I’d appreciated their childhood more. Although they have always been and still are very happy

MrsC2012x · 02/04/2018 23:58

What a ridiculous post, is this a genuine question or just mocking “family’s” that go shopping together, as a “family” unit because they are a “family”?
That’s like asking why do both parents fo the school run?

Because shopping needs to be done and parents work and get little spare time for normal life duties and to spend time as a family.

MrsC2012x · 03/04/2018 00:00

Binkybunty
Because maybe both parents want to make sure the child is ok, moral support, to make sure the other parent is ok etc

starfishmummy · 03/04/2018 00:06

Why not?

Its.nkt something we do regularly - mostly I do some shopping alone or with d's (when he's not at school) or dh will do shopping, but sometimes it's just convenient to go together...maybe we've been somewhere else first or just because we both want to go.

Didn't realise we were being judged!

shallichangemyname · 03/04/2018 00:14

My DCs love coming to the supermarket. I wouldn’t take them every week but it’s not a bad thing to take them all onetimes, teaching them to pay attention to others (not getting in the way with the trolley), looking for bargains, knowing their way around etc.

aspoonfulofyourownmedicine · 03/04/2018 00:43

Sometimes I go alone, sometimes I go with DH and DS, sometimes I go just with DH if DS isn't home and sometimes I take my DM with me. It depends where I'm going, if I'm driving past somewhere and if we need a massive shop. If it's the latter, I need DH with me to help lift the heavier bags as I can't manage to lift them out of the trolley and into the car and, as I'm the only driver in this house, I am needed to drive the car..........

My DS is 8, and loves to help, he likes to bring the shopping list and a pen and 'mark off' our shopping. It's a life skill that he'll have to learn at some point in his life, so may as well start now.

CheeseyToast · 03/04/2018 05:21

I don't think it's a ridiculous post at all. I know many people find it deeply weird and rather sad that a supermarket shop is considered "an outing".

Bringonspring · 03/04/2018 06:07

Cheesytoast-probably those who find it weird and upsetting are the ones with badly behaved children.

PasstheStarmix · 03/04/2018 06:16

I don’t think because more than one adult is in the supermarket that it means it’s some sort of outing.

PasstheStarmix · 03/04/2018 06:19

I think it’s crazy that anybody would care so much as well (may be too much time on their hands and maybe in need of some ‘fun’ themself me thinks.) i think the post should be about badly behaved/rude people in the supermarket in general which can be any combination of people rather than stigmatising families.

PasstheStarmix · 03/04/2018 06:20

maybe*

londonrach · 03/04/2018 06:53

Because its educational, fun and easier with two adults. Why your children running around. Just control them.

MrsC2012x · 03/04/2018 07:26

Cheeseytoast
I don't think anyone called it an outing? Its something that needs to be done, and it's a "ridiculous" post to judge people for it,

I agree its not fun, but neither are alot of other life necessities.

I too have a disability which prevents me being able to shop alone some days, but I don't feel I need to justify my shopping choices!

Littlenic73 · 03/04/2018 07:43

I usually go on my own, in the evening after the kids are in bed or while they are at Cubs. My kids loathe shopping. The only time we go as a family is if we are out for the day and stop at a supermarket on the way home. That's only so they don't have to wait in the car.

longestlurkerever · 03/04/2018 08:18

@MrsC - some people did berate families for doing the school run together too. I don't do that very often because we both work and alternate our days off, but used to drop dd1 at nursery together when it was on the way to work and it was a lovely start to the day. I don't really see why life has to be compartmentalised into "chores" and "fun". With kids, especially, you have to learn to find pleasure in the little things. I find it sad that that makes some people angry, or pitying. Not every day can revolve around organised fun. Some of my favourite memories as a child involve a wander around town with my dad, calling in at the library to change our books and mooching around the market to pick up bits for lunch (us kids trying all the free samples - MN would hate us).

Sparklingbrook · 03/04/2018 08:22

I have never thought the weekly food shop to be educational or fun. Grin

speakout · 03/04/2018 08:29

I think a weekly shop can be educational and fun.

Also a good opportunity to tech children how to behave in shops. No running, no noise, no disruption.

We are big foodies in our family, my kids were doing basic cooking and prep work ( with lots of supervision) from the age or two or three.

We did not have a lot of money, so sometimes a day's activity would be centered around cooking an meal. So planning the food, making little shopping lists for each child ( with pictures cut put of magazines or drawn for kids too young to read).
Then we would go as a family. let the kids find the stuff on the list, talk about choices, they would help with packing, loading the car, emptying the stuff once we got home, then start the meal preparation.
A family supermarket trip was part of the process.
We all enjoyed it.

probably those who find it weird and upsetting are the ones with badly behaved children.

And I agree with that.

MrsC2012x · 03/04/2018 08:30

@longestlurkerever absolutely agree. Of course it's easier going alone, as are a lot of things when you are parent to young children, but I know for sure my dd would rather be with me than stuck in the house. Also she loves the rare occasions me and DH can drop her off or pick her up from school together, x

MrsC2012x · 03/04/2018 08:30

@longestlurkerever absolutely agree. Of course it's easier going alone, as are a lot of things when you are parent to young children, but I know for sure my dd would rather be with me than stuck in the house. Also she loves the rare occasions me and DH can drop her off or pick her up from school together, x

Booboo66 · 03/04/2018 08:34

Because we don’t just sit at home and go to the supermarket as part of our weekend. Mostly shopping is done on the way home from somewhere. Why do people hate taking their kids places so much? Mine love the supermarket (I quite like it too). DD take it in turns to find the item and get it off the shelf. They absolutely love using the self scanner, especially the loose produce prt where they get to press buttons. 5 year old is now an expert at knowing which items to scan first to go in the bottom of the bag and which (tomatoes, eggs etc) to scan last. Even meets my quite specific standards. Failing to see how this is stressful or hellish. Surely it’s good for everyone in the household to get an input in to what is bought (I like to get inspiration as I walk round rather than making listed and having set meal plans). I’d guess the kids that find it awful and boring are ones that haven’t been taken often and expect constant entertainment that revolves around them when out the house. Surely shopping is something kids need to learn about?

Strugglingtodomybest · 03/04/2018 08:40

Longestlurkerever at the risk of sounding like an arselicker, I agree with all your posts on this thread.

Honestly? Is it really so difficult to understand why whole families might go shopping together? There have been plenty of perfectly good reasons given and yet people are still confessing to not understanding. Have they not rtft?

We don't do it very often, it's normally me alone or me and the kids.

I was thinking about this thread yesterday morning and thinking about the 'learning experience' aspect of taking the kids, and decided to put it to the test. So yesterday my 13 and 11 year old were entrusted to go to the supermarket by themselves, with rucksacks on their backs and my credit card zipped into a trouser pocket, to do the shop while I went for a dog walk with a friend. Fantastic! A new era for us now, thank you MN for making me realise how well trained they are. And yes, I'm feeling smug Wink

Booboo66 · 03/04/2018 08:40

Some people are very dithery when shopping and unaware of people waiting patiently to reach an item usually blocking with a trolley
Just say ‘excuse me’!

Anditstartsagain · 03/04/2018 08:45

If we do it together it's on the way back from somewhere yesterday we visited my sister who lives 5 mins from the retail park we needed a shop would have been stupid to drive all the way home drop them and go back. My kids don't run around though my little one goes in the trolley and the big one walks along with us.