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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why the whole family go supermarket shopping?

506 replies

turnipfarmers · 01/04/2018 17:00

I tend to shop without my children as it's easier; I get that lone parents have to take their children with them but what I can't make sense of is why you see two adults with several children in tow at the supermarket?

Shopping with children for the weekly shop doesn't seem to be much of a pleasurable experience to me and it's probably not that fun for the children so why do people do it?

OP posts:
daisypond · 02/04/2018 17:11

We don't always do supermarket shopping together. But one reason we go shopping together is so the children can help - help find stuff and help carry stuff. We don't own a car, and it's easier if there's more people to help carry the bags. It's part of a routine. The whole thing gets done much faster. We don't do online shopping as we tend to shop at Lidl and I don't think they offer that service.

ChoudeBruxelles · 02/04/2018 17:13

I don’t understand if I have a friend who goes shopping with her dh and3 kids together supermarket shopping and they all go together for any other type of shopping. Then she moans aboug how horrid it is all of them going

paranoidmother · 02/04/2018 17:29

I prefer to shop on my own but sometimes I’d really like DH to buy the shopping instead of me or we’re doing it on the way back from somewhere and it saves me going home and then back out again, which can add almost an hour onto my journey. Luckily kids are now 11 & 13 so I send them off to do different parts of the list to try and make it quicker.

Idontdowindows · 02/04/2018 17:30

Oh, dear. Performance parenting at its best, perhaps then they can move on to how to spell the name of what they're buying?

How on earth is it performance parenting to teach your children colours, names of vegetables, counting and spelling?

This is what we're supposed to be teaching our children!

Isis1981uk · 02/04/2018 17:38

I do it purely because I don't drive so my husband drives us all, but no one wants to sit in the car for 30 minutes so we all go. In any case, my kids love the free fruit at Tesco, and my son enjoys putting items in the trolley. Plus, it's not just my job, the whole family should learn how to do a weekly shop. I use it as a chance to teach my son about discounts and own brands etc

Iseveryusernametaken · 02/04/2018 17:38

We occasionally pop in for a few things. Our kids are generally really well b

Lithiumsmummy · 02/04/2018 17:39

seriously? no wonder so many kids are brats.
I hate shopping, other half hates shopping. We go together & the kids come too. If they are going to eat it, they are going to shop for it. They also help cook & wash up. Just pandering to the 'I don't want to do it' brigade of kids is making a rod for your own back. No, mine don't run around screaming & annoying other shoppers, yes, we go on a Saturday when it is really busy as we work. My kids don't even attempt to moan now, they understand that in life, some things are not fair, other things are boring as hell, but, we all have to do them. They are too young to be left on their own & NO, they most certainly do NOT get to choose their own food. 11 & 9

Iseveryusernametaken · 02/04/2018 17:39

Behaved in the shops, but I'm as easily bored as them. I online shop and have it delivered whilst they're in bed. I'd rather spend family time in the park or playing games at home than in a crowded supermarket at the weekend!

ClaryFray · 02/04/2018 17:39

Because I like to go, and I don't drive. DP goes for odds and ends, but the big ship I like to make sure we have what we need and meal plan. DP tends to bring back loads of stuff we won't use.

Sparklingbrook · 02/04/2018 17:39

I saw the free fruit in Tesco the other day. I wonder how many apple cores and banana skins get deposited around the store? Is it just for children?

MammaTJ · 02/04/2018 17:47

I hate shopping, DP doesn't mind it. I also don't drive, but DP does. He does the shopping, but my DC fight and argue all the time. I refuse to stay home with them both if I don't have to (when he is not at work) so he takes one or the other.

Only if I want very specific items will I go too, in which case we all go. I need to use the motorised scooter to get around the store. Even then we tend to separate and take one child each though, so we don't spread too much misery around the store.

londonmummy1966 · 02/04/2018 17:50

When my dc were little it was a free activity that enabled them to learn to count - eg can you pick out 12 mushrooms/4 onions for mummy etc. and made me feel part of the human race interacting with another adult even if it was only the lady at the checkout. Once they were beyond the cute and containable stage DH took them to the playground next door while I did the shop and had a peaceful cup of coffee....

MommaL · 02/04/2018 17:52

We do 7 people's worth of shopping, the kids help carry it home.

It also can be a learning experience, we home ed, we use shopping for food as a way to learn budgeting, planning, food choices, value for money, etc

user1483644229 · 02/04/2018 17:53

We dont get much time togeather as a family and so have to turn chores into family occasions basically

Minxmumma · 02/04/2018 17:54

I confess to being a family shopper.... (sorry!) all except the eldest but that's because she's at uni.
The middle two are 15, they choose a family meal each and collect the necessary bits to cook it, then come and find me. The littlest one just holds the zappy thing and swipes the bar codes happily. If she gets raggy we play baby tag and take her to look at random things. Dh packs and pays - oh and puts it all away when we get home (bonus)

mumonashoestring · 02/04/2018 17:54

All this performance parenting sniping gets right up my nose - tbh it's turned into performance grumpyfuckering. Even if I gave a thought to what anyone else thought when I'm chatting with DS when we're out, I live in fear of him ending up like one of my University flatmates - overbearing twit of a mother had assumed 'the girls' would take turns cooking etc. and dropped her precious fuckwit son off without a clue how to shop, cook, clean or wash his clothes.

For the most part we do whatever's most convenient - if we all go together it's because both DH and I have things we want to browse for while we're out and DS has learned to be helpful whilst shopping and not race around behaving like a troglodyte. For another Mum at the school they all go because she can't afford deliveries (has to shop around for the best deals) and neither she nor her DH can carry all the shopping home alone.

PeapodBurgundy · 02/04/2018 17:54

We go because it's easier to all go and get what we need in one go, than it is to do it in several trips on my own (neither of us drive). I find it too expensive to shop online, as a lot of the basic/value/saver products aren't available online, there are obviously no short dated/reduced items, and I can't use any coupons I've found that week. Without those savings our budget just wouldn't stretch. I was the main breadwinner, and have closed to stay home with DS and DC2 due in August. Considering every penny and doing the supermarket shop as a family are both a PITA, but a small price
to pay for me to be able to stay home while I have small children.

Tistheseason17 · 02/04/2018 17:55

My hubby and I love the weekly shop with our children. It's nice time together as we both work full time. It shows the children about the food we choose and where it comes from and the team on the cold meats counter always give them a treat as they are so well behaved.

I enjoy planning our weekly meals together and when the children are give the chance to make a choice they are more likely to eat what we give them.

gluteustothemaximus · 02/04/2018 17:55

I saw the free fruit in Tesco the other day. I wonder how many apple cores and banana skins get deposited around the store? Is it just for children?

Just for children. It’s great, as fruit is expensive. They provide a little bag to put your peel in, and so far, I’ve not seen any around the store. They get put in bins.

Hushhush89 · 02/04/2018 17:57

9/10 we all go shopping together. That's me, my husband and 3 children... my oldest 2 love coming shops with us, there 8 and 6. I use to create small shopping list for them so they could help out but now I give them 3 or 4 items that they have to remember to look for. The love helping and this way they can help choose what we have for lunches and dinners. I don't see any problem with parents taking their children if they all want to go then that's there choice. Why should people judge them just because the whole family have gone together

Spikeyball · 02/04/2018 18:01

We do it if we are on our way to or from somewhere. I think it is good for him to experience it in small doses occasionally because I rarely take him on my own because of the multiple difficulties it entails ( and people are less likely to pull faces and tut if there are two of us.)

Draylon · 02/04/2018 18:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TurquoiseDress · 02/04/2018 18:02

YANBU!

Online shopping all the way for us Grin

Plus if we need fresh stuff either myself or DH goes alone to supermarket. Cannot bear the supermarket experience at the best of times, let alone with a bored toddler Grin

CheesecakeAddict · 02/04/2018 18:16

Because dh does the cooking so does the shopping but I need to get stuff for my lunches at work and dh always forgets stuff so we go and get our separate stuff

LondonJax · 02/04/2018 18:19

My mum and dad used to take all three of us shopping with them every week. Mum couldn't drive and we lived a few miles from the large supermarket so I don't blame her for wanting dad to drive her there.

But my sisters and I hated it! I was ten at the time and I knew about what to buy - I'd been running errands to the little supermarket and green grocer on our estate on my own since I was six. I used to run errands for my aunt who lived next door to us too at that age (including buying cigarettes for my aunt - can you believe that!)

I used to beg to be allowed to just have a wander around the large Boots or WH Smith that was near by because the food shop was so boring but no, we all had to go together. I even remember pointing out that I was obviously grown up enough it I'd been going to the local shops for four years alone but, nope, every Saturday morning it was 'the big shop'.

Then, when I turned eleven mum decided it was better to leave me babysitting my little sisters and she and dad would go and do the food shopping alone. To this day I couldn't see the difference between being ten years old and having to be dragged around the supermarket and being eleven years old and allowed to stay home (given that I'd been doing those errands to the little supermarket since I was six so was mature enough to do that alone). I never went near another big supermarket until I started work so I'm not sure what the point of the family tour was but it was mum's choice and dad went along with it. Mum was the boss in our family...