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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why the whole family go supermarket shopping?

506 replies

turnipfarmers · 01/04/2018 17:00

I tend to shop without my children as it's easier; I get that lone parents have to take their children with them but what I can't make sense of is why you see two adults with several children in tow at the supermarket?

Shopping with children for the weekly shop doesn't seem to be much of a pleasurable experience to me and it's probably not that fun for the children so why do people do it?

OP posts:
KNain · 02/04/2018 13:10

Why does everything have to be fun for children? Life isn't all fun.
I take my DC because of the simple reason that I (or DH & I) need to go the shops. If they aren't old enough to be left, then tough shit the world doesn't revolve around them and they'll have to come too.

I don't find the park or soft play fun, doesn't mean I don't take them.

I heard something on the radio recently about how children aren't learning to be bored, but learning to be bored and how to behave appropriately is an important life skill!

notacooldad · 02/04/2018 13:11

i work shifts and sometimes I will pop into Asda or Tesco on my way home at 22:00hrs.The families that I struggle understanding are the ones where there is a big group of them at that time at night doing a big family shop with their primary school age kids. I know they are in education because they still have the uniforms on.
Sure I know it's none of my business but when my kids were that age they were in bed between 19.30- 20.30 depending on age.

This isn't a one off family that I have spotted but with some famlies it seems quite a normal thing to do at that time of night and to have two parents and a grandma plus a few kids. I just think the kids are going to knackered the next day if they are wide awake at that tiitll probably be at least another 40 mins efore they are home and heading up to bed.

ForalltheSaints · 02/04/2018 13:13

Shopping is an activity that should ideally be done by yourself, unless you are unable to have someone look after children, or you are helping someone with a disability or infirmity.

boatyardblues · 02/04/2018 13:17

I see the thread is up to 300+ posts, but my view is that if one person has to shoulder the misery of a weekly supermarket shop*, its only fair the misery is occasionally shared. Grin

  • The only exception was when DS1 was a couple of months old when the chance to get out of the house for an hour or so w/o a baby in tow was sheer, unalloyed pleasure.
WorldWideWanderer · 02/04/2018 13:18

Shopping as a family is nice.

Family time...'family time' doesn't have to be special occasions and outings, it can be just every day stuff.
And it teaches children, they need to know the ordinary, daily things so that one day they can do it for themselves in the future....never too early to get them helping (find something, or to be given choices about food, or to go with their own list to collect a couple of items).

However, wandering round with a trolley while your kids play unsupervised mayhem in the next aisle isn't on, of course.....

AnneElliott · 02/04/2018 13:21

I agree op. I used to work in a small greengrocer that has a really tight floor space. The number of families with Prams, buggies and several kids that would all try and squeeze in just to buy a punnet of strawberries was astonishing!

I couldn't understand why the dad couldn't wait outside with the kids!

Sparklingbrook · 02/04/2018 13:21

Misery not so much shared as doubled/tripled/quadrupled depending on how many family members go along. Grin

Loving how food shopping has to be a life lesson. it ain't that difficult is it?

puppower · 02/04/2018 13:28

Shopping is an activity that should ideally be done by yourself, unless you are unable to have someone look after children

I would never waste childcare on food shopping.

Anne Obviously if I passed a market or small shop & we needed something 1 parent would wait outside with kids.

Online shopping does annoy me as I always get substitutions & often the dates are not great. Plus I like M&S fruit & veg and they do not deliver yet (they are trialling I believe).

Blondeshavemorefun · 02/04/2018 13:34

Children need to learn and understand that there are boring but essential things in life

Like food shopping - washing - housework

As they get older they can learn how to budge

When younger it can be educational. Getting them to find a red or yellow pepper

Or count 6 carrits etc

Sparklingbrook · 02/04/2018 13:37

I think if it had to be an educational experience I would just choose a time when the supermarket is very quiet and do a really long lesson and get it over with.

Personalsituations99 · 02/04/2018 13:41

Each to their own miss judgey pants. If you dont like it shop online!
We love shopping together as a family. It's sometimes the only chance we get together because of work/life balance.
So I trip to the supermarket is usually fun and a chance to choose a big family meal we then go home and cook with choice of pudding too.
My kids have learnt to behave out and enjoy it. My partner likes being involved.
He doesn't object to staying at home with the kids and neither do I. Because we sometimes do.

Personalsituations99 · 02/04/2018 13:42

Infact my kids beg to come with us and get excited when we all get to go.

puppower · 02/04/2018 13:43

So tmw we are going to meet some friends at a museum. On the walk to the tube we will pass a large supermarket & we will go in & get some water, bananas etc & chuck in them in the bottom of the pram. Will I be commiting a cardinal sin?

Ps I would never allow scooting in a shop & heelies are the work of the devil.

Sparklingbrook · 02/04/2018 13:47

I agree Heelys and Scooters in supermarkets are just dangerous.

I assumed we were discussing pre planned long whole family outings to do an enormous shop not just popping in to get a couple of bits while passing because you need them there and then?

puppower · 02/04/2018 14:06

Sparklingbrook

I’m not sure a distinction was made.

Sparklingbrook · 02/04/2018 14:07

Yes possibly not. That was just my understanding of it.

gooseygoosegoose · 02/04/2018 14:24

My dh and I eat very different foods. We like to pick our own. We also entertain a lot and often buy things to cook together or make platters etc.

Dc comes and gets weekly mag of choice. Also helps picking stuff out and getting fruit for school etc.

CuppaSarah · 02/04/2018 14:51

I love going to the supermarket as a family. We're a simple, boring lot and simply enjoy it. DD loves helping, DS loves doing the scanner. It's just a little thing we enjoy doing together sometimes. We don't let DD get under people's feet, DS stays in the trolley seat, no dramas.

The worst type in the supermarket are the ones that stop randomly in the centre of an aisle, contemplating some deep truth, leaving no space either side for anyone to get past. Those kinds can go get fucked.

Tinuviel · 02/04/2018 15:12

Because my kids have been useful whilst shopping for years! I could wander along with the trolley to the veg in Lidl and by the time I got there half the shopping was already in my trolley - all 3 of them tootling off to get the staples that we get every week. I could do the whole shop in less than half an hour.

I also have problems with my back, so can't always load the car.

DaviesMum · 02/04/2018 15:47

*When younger it can be educational. Getting them to find a red or yellow pepper

Or count 6 carrits etc*

Hmm Oh, dear. Performance parenting at its best, perhaps then they can move on to how to spell the name of what they're buying?

iamthere123 · 02/04/2018 15:54

When I was little we only had one car and it was temperamental so my mum didn’t like driving it. My dad was used to keeping it going so he would have to drive. My mum liked to do the shopping. That necessitated that my brother and I went too. Often my dad worked 6 or 7 days a week, 10 - 12 hr days self employed so that my brother and I didn’t go without, so it was one of the few times him and my mum would get time together.

oblada · 02/04/2018 16:40

Interesting people saying they want to choose vegs/meat so go to the supermarket.
We're very lucky to have a v good greengrocer nearby (not too far anyway) and even better a fab man with a van with vegetables who comes to the house every week! I wouldn't buy vegs in the supermarket if I can help it. We have recently found a fishmonger near one of the kids activities so it's fab! And we don't eat meat. I do think online shopping is good value for money. I spend a max of 50quids per week average on ocado for our family of 5 (3 young kids). Then 10quids ish per week for vegetables and the fishmonger is occasionally and can be 5 to 15pounds. For bulk shopping and some essentials we love Costco and that gets us our 'fix' of 'supermarket as a family time', every 2-3months. works for us :)

Alexkate2468 · 02/04/2018 16:55

Honestly - would much rather go with my kids (1 and 6). I'm bored without them. They like to help (throw things in the trolley that surprise me at the till). They're not a bit of bother and like to help pick things. For some reason the littlest loves to hold the bread as he sits on the trolley.

Jassmells · 02/04/2018 16:56

I can't bear it at the best of times and hence have done online food shop for 10+ years.
It baffles me. My sister takes her son then just moans about having to take him but says she's not organised enough to do it online!

YorkieDorkie · 02/04/2018 17:00

" Oh, dear. Performance parenting at its best, perhaps then they can move on to how to spell the name of what they're buying?"

It's a shame you feel that this would constitute performance parenting. I'm a teacher and I've often suggested to parents to find opportunities in supermarkets to practise counting or using money. It's not that often that young children get to see so many real things they can apply what they know to. "Charlie can you help me count 4 apples?" is hardly performance parenting crime of the century Hmm.