More of a 'was I being unreasonable' as me and let's call her 'Chloe' have fallen out and have been NC for a year. Only thinking about it again because I got together with an old friend for drinks and she asked how 'Chloe' was and I said we haven't spoken in a year+ and she was so shocked and said something about "how sad you gave up five year friendship over that" and it raised the question did I over react? Because I really don't think I did.
Going to start off by saying although she was my best friend there were some things about her that always hurt me, but she was stubborn and you couldnt argue with her or convince her of anything so I never raised them and just sort of accepted they were parts of her.
After 4 years of it basically always being just me and Chloe, she started to get close with this one girl, 'Natasha' and the two over the course of a year became practically inseparable. I'd still see Chloe as long as I texted first, made the plans, picked her up and dropped her home but that was as far as it went. She'd leave my messages ignored for days but still be fine when she saw me so I kept on trying to see past it.
Natasha and I had been friends once as we were all part of the same friendship group at uni so one night they invited me to some drinks at her place. It was the first time I saw how Chloe and Natasha were together and it made me jealous, and I felt so stupid but it really hurt me. They just seemed so close and had all these inside jokes and Chloe treated her house like her own (when at mine she acts like a guest) and it was just the opposite of how Chloe acts with me. That night we were all in Natasha's bedroom and those two popped out for a cigarette and I stayed in the room. Was looking at polaroid pictures of us back in uni on her notice board on the wall and saw there was a letter pinned up on this notice board handwritten from Chloe. The letter was literally gushing like "you are the best friend I have ever had. Thank you so much for all you do for me." Loads more inside jokes etc and talking about all their memories over the last year of being close. I just shrugged it off but it stung that Chloe cared enough about Natasha to write handwritten letters and I'd never had so much as a birthday card or a thank you for anything over 4 years of friendship and I'd paid to take her on holiday after her boyfriend cheated on her.
Chloe referred to Natasha as the most important person in her life, and these things sound so immature I'll probably get ripped apart but it's hard not to take it personally - Over 4 years of friendship Chloe had never posted a single photo of me and her on her social media, there were probably around 50 of her and Natasha. She also would tweet things like "My best friend is an idiot' and a funny screenshot of a text from her and stuff. I just started to feel really fucking invisible. Chloe would still come over sometimes, but would be constantly messaging Natasha, again it hurt because she always messaged her to arrange plans and see each other but it was a fact, me and Chloe would never see each other or speak unless I initiated contact. I tested this theory to see if I was just making plans before she had the chance and we went nearly a month with no contact at all until I caved and messaged her again.
Birthdays and Christmas' passed and Natasha would post pictures of all her presents from Chloe, again I had never had a present from her in 5 years of friendship. I started to say to Chloe that I feel really insignificant compared to Natasha and she'd say just because we were each other's only friend for 5 years doesn't mean she can't have new ones and would make me feel like a jealous, possessive twat. I admit I was jealous of their friendship but it mainly just hurt me how different Chloe treated her, how appreciative Chloe was of her and how much Chloe cared about her - I'd been a good friend to her and she always just acted fine with me.
The big blow out came when I messaged her saying "I've had enough of feeling anxious, you don't bother with me unless I make the effort, you don't seem to care about our friendship and it hurts to constantly be made to feel insignificant" again it was comments like "you're really going to end our friendship because you're jealous of Natasha" "I'm not your girlfriend stop being so possessive"
All the time she'd make me out to be possessive but it wasn't to do with her having another friend - it was about seeing how she treated Natasha that made me realise how badly she treated me. Never making the effort to be in touch, to make plans, ignoring my messages for days, never asking how my life was, happily letting me spend money on her which was my own choice I know but she'd never say thank you, just overall treating me entirely different. I realised that it was just crushing my self esteem and blocked her off everything and went NC. Haven't spoken since and she never tried to reconcile and neither have I. I feel I behaved albeit emotionally but fairly and cut off a 'friend' who obviously didn't care about me. My friend at dinner the other night more thought I'd been jealous and lonely and acted irrationally.
Was I being unreasonable, or was she?