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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The Silent child

239 replies

Puffycat · 30/03/2018 21:15

I’ve just watched this award winning short film and am in bits!
My DH said ‘oh you’ll enjoy it, it’s uplifting ‘
Uplifting my arse!
I’m so cross at the stupid parents. Surely the first thing you do when you have a deaf child is learn sign language!
The bit at the end when Libby signs ‘I love you’ to her therapist finished me off!
I just hope it raised awareness

OP posts:
Camiila · 31/03/2018 19:53

Camiila How many schools have you worked in? 3 schools that have hearing impaired units, in two different London boroughs, all state schools, the most recent being last year, and the one before that was three years ago. The staff in these units are not employed by the school, they are from the borough, although they may work with TAs employed by the school

Frusso · 31/03/2018 19:54

@ButchyRestingFace
I'd love to know what school she works at, where there is ample support.

Camiila · 31/03/2018 19:55

And then she referred to the "scribes" in her school(s) as being "qca registered".

I'm a QCA approved scribe myself.

Totally fantasy.

you don't know what you are talking about

ButchyRestingFace · 31/03/2018 19:57

@ButchyRestingFace
I'd love to know what school she works at, where there is ample support.

Yes, it would be wonderful to be able to share the information about this deaf mecca with all the families tearing their hair out over support for their children. Hmm

ButchyRestingFace · 31/03/2018 19:58

I'm a QCA approved scribe myself.

Perhaps you can post a link to this register you speak of?

Frusso · 31/03/2018 20:01

Oh for crying out loud @Camiila what part of your brain thinks that a hearing impaired unit is comparable to a mainstream school without a HI unit.

You do realise that a place at a HI unit requires an EHCP. You are aware that they are not automatically given out like candy to deaf children?

Do you actually know how many Deaf schools there are in the county? (I'll give you a clue, it's about 22)
Do you know how many HI units are in the country?

In fact, do you know how many counties do not have a HI unit or deaf school? Of the top of my head I could tell you of at least 6 in England alone.

Find out those answers and then you can come back and preach about there being AMPLE support for deaf children in this country.

ButchyRestingFace · 31/03/2018 20:04

Oh for crying out loud @Camiila* what part of your brain thinks that a hearing impaired unit is comparable to a mainstream school without a HI unit.*

It doesn't matter whether it's a hearing unit or a mainstream school - I am willing to bet the farm that there is no school in the land where all the support personnel are qualified to the extent that she claims they are.

Camiila · 31/03/2018 20:06

Find out those answers and then you can come back and preach about there being AMPLE support for deaf children in this country.

I said there was ample support where I am.

Nothing at all int the rest of your post is remotely relevant to what I am saying about where I am

i don't know what you are getting so antsy about. I have simply described what happens where I am, in some detail, in schools with hearing impaired units attached, as I said.

so what exactly is your complaint?

Camiila · 31/03/2018 20:07

It doesn't matter whether it's a hearing unit or a mainstream school - I am willing to bet the farm that there is no school in the land where all the support personnel are qualified to the extent that she claims they are.

you've lost your bet then, haven't you.

And the hearing units i am describing ARE in main stream schools

Camiila · 31/03/2018 20:08

Oh for crying out loud @Camiila what part of your brain thinks that a hearing impaired unit is comparable to a mainstream school without a HI unit.

I never said it was, I don't know what you are having a go for

Camiila · 31/03/2018 20:09

Yes, it would be wonderful to be able to share the information about this deaf mecca with all the families tearing their hair out over support for their children.

I'm in London, as I said

ButchyRestingFace · 31/03/2018 20:09

you've lost your bet then, haven't you.

How so? Prove that all the support personnel at your school have a level 6 in BSL, a language modification and a CSW qualification.

People would be chomping at the bit to send their kids there.

Provide a link to the "QCA register" that demonstrates the "scribes" at your school are on it.

ButchyRestingFace · 31/03/2018 20:11

I'm in London, as I said

"I'm in London, as I said" is the name of your school?

Doesn't exactly trip off the tongue.

MerryDeath · 31/03/2018 20:13

what the fuck that was about the most un-lifted i've been all year. Sad

Camiila · 31/03/2018 20:15

I am not required to prove anything to you, I've told you how it is where I work, take it or leave it, its nothing to me, if you would rather go on your merry way ignorant, or lying for your own political reasons, carry on. Its your call

Frusso · 31/03/2018 20:16

My complaint begins with your earlier post

Deaf children have support and sign language translaters in schools when they need it. Some mange with hearing aids, some don't. All get support and monitoring.

Signing is common in main stream school, I learnt some subject specific vocab when I realised the signers in my sixth form classes didn't understand the science well enough to sign it.

Many deaf students have two or three LSAs in one lesson, two to take turns translating in sign, one to write notes,

They are very well supported indeed.

Deaf students are no where near as isolated as children who can't speak English, as can interact with the teacher and other students in writing, and most can write very fast! so even on occasions when there has bee no translator, (strikes, etc) they can still take full part in the lesson, at secondary level, we just make sure all information is written.

And my complaint, and that others posting on here, is that your experience is not that of the rest of the country. That you are failing to see that your experience is not the norm. That you believe that what goes against your experience (of a small area of London HI units) must be propaganda, and that all deaf children are amply supported.

My post, which you have chosen to disregard, is totally relevant to this argument as a means to get you to think about the situation across the country as a whole.

ButchyRestingFace · 31/03/2018 20:19

I am not required to prove anything to you, I've told you how it is where I work, take it or leave it, its nothing to me, if you would rather go on your merry way ignorant, or lying for your own political reasons, carry on. Its your call

So far my google searches have not revealed any such thing as an "QCA register" of "scribes".

All you had to do was post a link to this so-called register that you claim the "scribes" were on.

Your fantasies would be amusing but for the fact that there may be parents reading this thread who form the impression that all this support you claim is in place at your school is a realistic prospect for their kids in the future.

Frusso · 31/03/2018 20:21

And the hearing units i am describing ARE in main stream schools
Every child needs an EHCP to access that Hearing unit. That does not make it mainstream. You cannot get a place at a HI unit without one even if the unit is in a mainstream school.

So now would you please research how many HI units are in the country?

TheGruffalosArse · 31/03/2018 20:26

I'm glad I came late into this thread because as the parent of a deaf baby I have found some of the initial comments very upsetting. 'All parents should just learn sign' as though it's that easy. I've been dealing with this attitude for months from other parents who have been to a 6 week baby sign class and think they have the answer to my sons profound deafness. (FYI teaching a hearing baby a few signs is a world away from teaching a deaf baby signs as you don't have the use
of language to support the visual learning)

It takes months to be diagnosed, the kids are tested regularly, they have countless appointments for hearing aid fittings, Cochlear implant assessment and to check their general health - at one stage I was driving my son to appointments daily. So you have all that to deal with, as well as dealing with the usual baby stuff.

In any case my baby will receive cochlear implants around his first birthday and in between working and trying to give him him a normal family life i would prefer to use the majority of the time I have with him to practice speech therapy techniques so that he can thrive in the mainstream school he will have to go to and workplaces in the future. We are on the waiting list for the BDA to deliver a 20 week family sign course to us which is a fantastic service but I very much doubt I will have the time or the finances to learn BSL as I've basically had to give up work if my son is to have the time and input he needs for all his appointments and habilitation after surgery.

Hope that's ok for all of you who think parents should just learn sign language and teach it to their child. I have The Silent Child recorded but after reading this thread I think I will delete it.

Frusso · 31/03/2018 20:27

if you would rather go on your merry way ignorant, or lying for your own political reasons, carry on. Its your call

So I am lying about the lack of provision for deaf children in my county am I?

So it is for my own political reasons that I claim there are no Deaf schools or HI units in my county, or 2 neighbouring counties?
Whatever my political opinions may be, the units are not there. The provision is not there.

Camiila · 31/03/2018 20:28

And my complaint, and that others posting on here, is that your experience is not that of the rest of the country. That you are failing to see that your experience is not the norm.

no I'm not, as I've said, I am talking about MY SPECIFIC AREA and my exerience where I've worked. Many deaf children do get ample support, in some lessons there are more supporting adults than there are children!

Camiila · 31/03/2018 20:29

So now would you please research how many HI units are in the country?

not in any way relevant

Camiila · 31/03/2018 20:30

So I am lying about the lack of provision for deaf children in my county am I?

no, you are lying when you say you "know" that what I am saying can't be true.

anyway, if it means that much to you, why don't you move?

nomorespaghetti · 31/03/2018 20:34

@TheGruffalosArse I've been there Flowers you do have to develop a thick skin as the parent of a deaf child. As the parent of an implanted child I'd say don't dismiss the film straight off, it's still worth a watch even if you don't intend on using bsl with him. Good luck with everything.

ButchyRestingFace · 31/03/2018 20:35

no, you are lying when you say you "know" that what I am saying can't be true.

Well, what you're saying about the "scribes" being "QCA registered" is demonstrably not true.

Your claim that about the educational qualifications of the "translators" isn't true either.

Nice story though.

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