The Silent child

[Puffycat]

I’ve just watched this award winning short film and am in bits!
My DH said ‘oh you’ll enjoy it, it’s uplifting ‘
Uplifting my arse!
I’m so cross at the stupid parents. Surely the first thing you do when you have a deaf child is learn sign language!
The bit at the end when Libby signs ‘I love you’ to her therapist finished me off!
I just hope it raised awareness

I was exactly the same. Utterly heartbroken. Was in tears :'(

I’m so cross at the stupid parents. Surely the first thing you do when you have a deaf child is learn sign language!

Most don't though. The issue is a bit more complex than can be adequately explored in a 20 minute short.

I hear Rachel Shenton is hoping to make the film into a feature length movie.

@ButchyRestingFace you sound like you work in this field or certainly have some experience.
I find it incomprehensible that parents with a deaf child wouldn’t do everything in their power to find the best way to communicate with them and to make sure they have the best chance in life and to minimise isolation

My DS can not talk well, in fact he didn't speak at all until just shy of 3. The first thing I did after sorting out speech therapy is learn myself and teach him makaton so we could communicate. Deaf parents should do the same, not being able to hear is the same as not being able to talk. If you want to communicate with your kid, you find a way, any way possible.

Agree that it's not uplifting, but it was beautifully filmed & raised an important issue.
Well done young Maisie! Acting was superb

I haven't seen this film but perhaps he parents were struggle with accepting the fact their dc was deaf. Always hoping one day they will communicate like a hearing dc. I can imagine it being difficult to arrive at that place of accepting this is not going to happen and we now need to find an unconventional method of communicating.

I dont know if its still the case, but up until recently social workers would tell parents not to learn sign language, as they would find it easier to accept a cochlear implant.
You can imagine how far behind children used to fall without any language skills, especially with the older implants. I've known people move to a different county to learn to sign and get support for their deaf child.

I thought it was a bit crap tbh. How come all of a sudden one day she was at school? No extra support? Profoundly deaf and just left to it? Surely that doesn't really happen...I know the idea is to raise awareness of deaf children getting no support but I can't see how this silent child would just be allowed to get to that stage. Please, please enlighten me if you can!

She wasn't eligible for a cochlear implant? Anyone know why?

I found it heartbreaking although I think like you op it was the apparent disregard of the little girls feelings by the parents. It was an amazing film and hopefully will raise awareness.

Plus the parents just fucking ignored her.

That’s what I mean @Queenofthestress, you have done the absolute best you could for your DS.
Think of all the things you can’t share if you can’t communicate
Tralalala etc the parents in the film were so wrapped up in everything else they couldn’t give a flying fart. At one point the mum goes out of the house yelling’bye Libby! Be good!’ None of which the poor child caught cos she wasn’t looking at her!!
Agree the performance of Libby was superb

I've never known a social worker say not to learn sign language and use a cochlear implant! It really isn't that simple and most deaf children don't qualify for a cochlear implant anyway! All children need language and children with cochlear implants use sign whilst learning to hear. Some continue to use sign to support their understanding and communication.

The film highlights that there are issues around deaf children but was very simplified and couldn't show the full story in such a short film. I have really mixed feelings about it but at least it should get people talking.

@ButchyRestingFace you sound like you work in this field or certainly have some experience.

I do work in the field.

And yes, the issue is complex. For many years, parents were discouraged from signing to their deaf children because it was thought to impede their ability to learn speech. Even within the last 5 years I know of a fluent signer (deaf parents) who was discouraged from signing to her deaf cochlear implanted toddler on the grounds that it would discourage him from speaking.

I don't agree with that view, but it's out there, and parents are still hearing it from medical professionals.

The vast majority of deaf children are born to hearing families. The child portrayed in The Silent Child is profoundly deaf, but there are varying degrees of deafness, and some children, with hearing aids/cochlear implants are capable of learning speech.

Sign language is also a complete language, like any other. It has it's own unique grammar and syntax, totally distinct to English.

And like any other language, it takes years to learn competently. Historically, sign language classes have never been free, so parents who wish to learn proper BSL (not signed English) would have to pay to go on courses, find people to practice with and keep progressing through the levels to reach a decent standard.

I would estimate I spent around £10,000 to reach level 6 in BSL. The parents in the movie appear to be affluent but this is hardly the case for many families. And if there is little in the way of an active deaf community in their area - the family in the movie appeared to live rurally - then there will be no-one for them to practice with.

And then there's the issue that most deaf schools have closed, with deaf children increasingly being mainstreamed. And the teaching assistants/teachers of the deaf they get - if they're lucky! - to support them through mainstream schools tend to have a low level of signing (salaries are poor for bilingual TAs).

In Sweden, parents of deaf children are required by law to learn sign language. But I would hope provision of free sign language courses for hearing parents/siblings is much better there than here.

Apologies for the essay!

I’m so cross at the stupid parents. Surely the first thing you do when you have a deaf child is learn sign language!
And how would they do that in an aural county? In a county where even the Teachers of the Deaf do not promote sign, and do not support the use of sign language. In most cases parents are expected to fund this learning of sign language themselves, and in some cases the nearest place to learn it is over an hours drive away.
There are also less than 25 Deaf schools in the entire country.
Local authorities do not make it easy to get a sign language interpreter written into an EHCP.

Then you consider that in the film they didn't find out Libby was deaf until she was 3.5. By which point they have been speaking to her for 3.5years, that would be really hard habit to break, and really hard to learn BSL to the point to be able to teach the child fluently.

I'm not making excuses, I still don't like the way the parents are portrayed.

She wasn't eligible for a cochlear implant? Anyone know why?

Cochlear implantation is only suitable for people with sensorineural deafness, AFAIK. If she has a different form of deafness, they wouldn't. help.

brutus you are right it wouldn't have got to this. Not in my area anyway.

Teachers of the deaf are involved from birth when many children are diagnosed and as soon as a child is diagnosed if it's later in their life.

A child with no language or communication would have an ehcp so extra support. The only time I have known something like this is if a child has come from another country where deafness is looked on as shame for the family.

You need to have a profound loss to be eligible for CI.

It's the degree of deafness too, I've had children on border of severe/profound turned down for implantation

She wasn't eligible for a cochlear implant? Anyone know why?
@BrutusMcDogface, the Mum said something about there being some hearing in one ear. To qualify for cochlear implants nice guidelines are very strict and there has to be a certain level of loss in both ears. It doesn't matter how shit that remaining hearing is, whether that child can access speech sounds or not, they don't qualify. It sucks.

Trying to ‘fix’ deafness with hearing aids and implants is common nowadays and courses, or even minimal support, for parents to learn BSL to teach their children are few and far between. All well and good if you are born into an already Deaf family but most of us have no or little experience with signing. For those families for whom it comes out of the blue, wanting your child to be ‘normal’ is, well, to be expected and parents want their children to live a ‘normal’ life. It can be hard to accept a child is Deaf when hearing aids and implants can go some way (or even further) to ‘cure’ the problem. Sign language is more of an acceptance a child is Deaf.

Even if the parents try their hardest to learn to sign, it's not easy (how many people vowed to learn a language or do any project while on maternity leave, and then couldn't because of the demands of baby and work and with a deaf baby, quite likely lots of medical appts too). Lots of places to study BSL level 1,not many to study level 2, which is another two years. So the child will be 3 or 4 by the time the parents have enough sign to have a decent but far from fluent conversation - missing the window of opportunity for the child to learn good language.
You can see why parents try to focus on making use of residual hearing - it's what they know and understand.

Add the lack of sign tutors in large parts of the country, the costs of learning beyond level 1, the woeful lack of support in schools - and when teachers of the deaf don't need to sign, and schools can't find communication support workers who sign - I would never blame a parent who didn't take on the system. A couple friends have been fighting for a decade to get appropriate education for their deaf child. Rights are all very well but outside cities the services do not exist.

Yes, profoundly deaf, refused special school with deaf unit, dumped in mainstream with well-meaning worker who had recently started level 1 so sub-GCSE level - it happens all too often. That's the real scandal.

Cochlear implants aren't suitable for all (if you don't have a cochlea or any auditory nerve, for example), and they are just impressive hearing aids, like bone-anchored ones (BAHAs). The child is still deaf and likely will still need support.

Deaf parents should do the same, not being able to hear is the same as not being able to talk.

Deaf parents should do what?

I don't have a deaf child, but one that did not speak until three and a half.
I tried to get help several times, but the speech therapy clinic was useless.
I had heard of Makaton, but was advised against it as it may delay things further- I now believe that was bad advice, but I was trying to do the best for my child.

I agree the parents in this film were portrayed very badly. Quite one dimensional and heartless. A little more character development in that direction would have felt more realistic.

I think people also have to realise that not all cochlear implants work well and will not necessary give access to all speech sounds or ensure a child will speak. I have seen many children where they haven't been successful in the way they are portrayed in the media.

Quite unusual I'd guess for her to have a therapist who was so totally fluent in sign language, to work with her all day, every day, before she went to school.

And still seems unusual for the parents to have so little involvement with the child, and yet she's learned so much in terms of behaviour and socialisation etc. Seemed really unlikely somehow.

I thought the parents were given a very harsh treatment in the film, when it could have been done in a more balanced way, exploring different viewpoints and why they didn't want her seen as deaf, or signing, and what stigma that might have brought, etc. I can't see any primary school just letting a deaf child get on with it, with no support - standing alone at playtimes, not participating in class or spelling tests, etc. That bit didn't seem realistic to me. I can well believe parents not getting the support they ask for, and children still having a hard time, but that just seemed too extreme to be realistic, and thus diluted the message.

I hope they make a feature film that discusses more of it in depth, as it's a really interesting subject. And was well acted.