Please settle this between me and my husband

[Bluecandles]

Please settle this with my husband, I think he is being unreasonable, he thinks I am.

My husband and one child are in the dining room, I’m sitting at the breakfast bar which is inbetween the dining room and kitchen with the other child.

My husband gets up and starts walking into the kitchen to get something for child one saying to that child as he goes past “I’m just going to give mum a loving caress” and goes to kiss my neck. I reject this and tell him he’s being creepy and inappropriate. He thinks I’m being heartless. Who is being unreasonable?

Lighthearted obviously.

I don’t see what’s inappropriate about showing your love for one another in front of your kids?

YABU

I would have winced

Yeah I have to agree YABU. I can't really see anything too creepy about that.

Tricky.

I don’t see anything wrong in someone displaying a bit of affection. However, it’s unwanted, then it could be seen as harassment.

Sorry, not helpful answer.

Well I mean that is how most happily married couples behave. Maybe he was trying to make a point to demonstrate what a loving caress looks like or something. Although a kiss on the neck isn't a caress but whatever.

Creepy, yanbu.

I don't understand why he had to announce it? DH and I cuddle in front of the kids, or kiss (not properly making out just a quick peck) and never feel the need to "warn" them! I think "loving caress" is a bit of a weird term as well. I'd expect it from a romance novel but not day to day life.

I don't think it's creepy or inappropriate (although a neck kiss to me is definite sexy times rather than affection) but I don't think you were heartless either.

Can't see how your husband leaning in to kiss you is creepy and inappropriate. Also not sure what makes your post lighthearted given the content .

You are being unreasonable. Little gestures of love and intimacy are good in a relationship. If it’s because it was in front of the kids, you are modelling a normal affectionate relationship.

DH and I hug and kiss in front of our boys. I’ll often stand behind him while he’s at the sink and give him a hug to show him I appreciate him clearing up. He’ll give me a kiss while I’m cooking to do the same. Normal and healthy.

Urgh I hate this. Just makes me feel like a lamppost with a dog pissing up it.

But tbh I don't like being touched or mauled about these days.

Not really creepy and inappropriate, unless there was more to it than a kiss

Announcing it to the DC - yuck.

Kissing on the neck is usually sexual.

It’s not the kiss I object to so much, more describing it as a ‘loving caress’.

But fair enough. I will admit I have issues with displays of affection. Not a big hugger.

It’s not lighthearted or funny. You were horrible to him and your children saw it.

YWBVU

I would be uncomfortable with the sexual nature of that in front of my child. A peck kiss or cuddle would be fine.

It’s not “affection” if its sexual. Eg snogging with tongues.

Nothing wrong with it? Showing affection between two parents is natural

I think I'd vomit at the term 'loving caress' whether the kids were there or not.

Nothing wrong with giving kisses and cuddles but telling DC he's "giving mum a loving caress" is a bit weird to me, I'm sure DC doesn't want to hear that.

'loving caress' who says that in this day and age. YADNBU OP has he been reading Mills & Boon?

Obviously it's up to you if you want him to touch you or not but I think calling it inappropriate and creepy was a bit harsh.

although 'loving caress' sets my teeth on edge

lol a loving caress. Who says that?!

YABU.

Just to clarify, one of our kids can’t understand what’s going on and the other wasn’t paying attention. I also didn’t shout this, we were laughing while discussing this, hence the lighthearted nature of the post.