Please settle this between me and my husband

[Bluecandles]

Please settle this with my husband, I think he is being unreasonable, he thinks I am.

My husband and one child are in the dining room, I’m sitting at the breakfast bar which is inbetween the dining room and kitchen with the other child.

My husband gets up and starts walking into the kitchen to get something for child one saying to that child as he goes past “I’m just going to give mum a loving caress” and goes to kiss my neck. I reject this and tell him he’s being creepy and inappropriate. He thinks I’m being heartless. Who is being unreasonable?

Lighthearted obviously.

YABU

This reminds me of when our 3DDs were little and my DH would come home from work to find us all round the dining table and say "So many lovely girls to kiss!" and then make his way round the table kissing everyone. The DDs used to love it

The nanny on the other hand would quickly disappear into the kitchen to make sure she wasn't included

I don't think the kissing your neck is unreasonable, but, the statement 'I'm just going to give your mum a loving caress' is just creepy. I'm on your side OP YANBU

TheFirstMrsOsmund he does that too! I think it’s just a difference in how we see things, he thinks he’s being loving and romantic, I find it a bit, well maybe creepy and inappropriate was too harsh, cringy and weird instead. But most other people think it was fine so I’ll have to deal with it while asking him to respect that I don’t like a lot of affection. Maybe the affection without the commentary would be a compromise.

Otherwise we are very happy so I don’t think it was a snide comment on my lack of affection.

"Hello child, watch, I am going to give some physical affection to your mother. Watch me not ask what her thoughts are on the matter. Consent is boring!"

Great message.

I think I would rip the piss mercilessly for a long time if he uttered the words ‘loving caress’ but the rest of it is fine. Nice for kids to see their parents being loving to each other.

YABU

So how does it work in your house umbrella.your partner has to say on each occasion ‘may i approach you for a kiss’

Or do you have a timetable for each activity so that they know exactly what is appropriate when?

I'm pretty sure most partners can tell when the timing is right in the house for stuff like that.

It's hard to put into words but you kind of know.

Even if you didn't it's pretty obvious when it's not the time.

All this feeling romantic while you chop salad is bull shit from the movies.

Sitting with a cup of tea for 5 mins- No

Washing up or trying to cook dinner while timing items between emptying the washing machine and feeding the cat. Again. No.

Either way u dont just decide you want to maul your wife and announce it to the household befire pissing up her me.

Leg

Giles, i agree with your posts. You have summarised what my issue is with it. It’s just not the right time in my opinion.

"A loving caress"?! Wtf?!
"I'm going to give mum a hug" may have been more appropriate than quoting a Mills & Boon

If getting a random kiss off your husband is creepy, you might as well give up to be honest. What is even the point of being married?

The kiss, fine.

The words, nope!

My husband kissed me on the neck when the kids were little but turned it into a raspberry, which made the boys laugh because I would go "yucky dada", and they loved a neck raspberry, so it was a fun thing.

"Loving caress" doesn't feel right.

Yabu