To call myself Ms instead of Mrs??

[cocobilly]

I’m married, haven’t changed surname, use “Ms” for all correspondence. I’m starting a new job with a temp agency, and they’re telling me because I’m married, I HAVE to change my title to Mrs on all my documents (bank statements, council tax etc). Is this normal?! Don’t know what to do!

I'm unmarried and am a Ms on all paperwork, it's no one's business whether I'm married or not. That goes for you too! Your marriage status should not matter.

Tell them you'd rather get divorced than have to be "Mrs"! I hate all that crap and tend to put M or Mx where online forms demand something and don't have a drop down box!

Yes, definitely call ACAS and then complain. Log it with 101 and call OFSTED.

I bet you're going to impress them and go far.

I got married last year, changed my surname to DHs but have kept the title Miss as out of the 3 options that's the one I like. I've had no issues with this. I've also not got round to changing everything yet. We've remortgaged in the last month with me having various combinations of name. Again, no issues at all.

There is no official ID with titles because titles aren't official names.

Check your driving licence, if you are female they usually put a title, if you are male they do not.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts.

@guinnessguzzler that’s what I thought! Agency lady insists that Ms is only for widowed or divorced women so I can’t be Ms

@Barbaraofseville absolutely agree! A man would never be asked to declare his marital status

@kenndodd hahaha oh dear

@telloutmysoul 100% agree with you!

The whole point of Ms was that it is supposed to be the female equivalent of Mr and you never have to change it based on your marital status.
What would she make of Mx the gender neutral version?

I'm married, and have changed my surname, but I always choose Ms as a title if a form requires it. I feel like I'm too young for Mrs (I'm 43 )

I doubled-barrelled my surname when I got married. I'm Ms X-Y because I can't get away from feeling like Mrs X is my grandma's name!

So it's just agency lady being reactionary and wrong. It's not official agency policy just one woman who is sure she's right.

I never changed my surname when I got married, so I am a 'ms'. Never stopped me from getting a new job. Sounds like she has a problem with women not changing their names and is trying to punish you for it.

In fact I just told DH about this and he reckons that it's illegal for her to not allow you to register without changing your title.

I've was ms before and after marriage and continue to be so without any problems.

Well driving licence titles mean shit all anyway. When I owned a car rather than having a company car, my driving licence has Miss because I've never bothered changing it, my car was registered to Mrs because the garage l bought it from assumed that a 40 something woman with the means to lease a new car must be married and my insurance was in Ms because I sorted that out myself. Never caused any problems.

Thinking about it, titles have no use whatsoever, they just cause confusion, and disagreement, we should just get rid of them altogether. You have no need to know if a women is married or not, and in the situations when companies/organisations do, they can ask. Same with male/female, hardly ever needed, if it is, they can ask. First name, last name, that's it.

I would imagine titles and name changing are an historical hangover from the days when women and children were seen as property of men, you stamp your name on them so you know who the owner is, and male titles so you know where the fall in the social scale and what property they own.

Is there a Other box? I’d like to be a Duchess. Trouble is, you’re interviews are in the hands of these muppets so it depends how far you want to go to prove the point.

Re: driving licenses you have to request your title be taken off when you renew/get a new one.

Obviously if you're married you're a more responsible and reasonable woman so you drive better

I would seriously question if I wanted to work for an agency so happy to state total nonsense as fact. If they force this how can you trust them in tax, holiday entitlement, anything really.

I’ve been Ms before and after marriage (didn’t change surname).

Married, if Dr isn't available, I go for Ms

Driving licences May have titles on but only the title you tell them!

Doctor is a funny one. It's just a job (or a degree). Why do people like to be referred to as Dr outside of their work/study? Surely to the bank clerk or phone company you're just a Mr or a Ms etc

LOL at 'just a job'

This really irritates me. I've been a Ms since I was 16 and will not be changing it.

I once had to sign in to a works site and they told me that "Ms" wasn't available on their computer system so I'd have to be a Miss or Mrs. I told them to put me down as a Mr. They told me that I wasn't a Mr. I told them that I wasn't a Miss or Mrs either.

Just another example of how women are treated differently to men...

turnip why the lol?

I think it's enormously arrogant for doctors to expect to be referred to as "Dr" when they're not at work.