To wonder if many parents actually do lie about their baby's sleeping habits?

[ethelfleda]

I read an article this morning that said many parents choose to lie about their baby's sleep habits because of pressure from a society that expects babies to 'sleep through' from a very young age.

I have also heard a number of mothers of small babies say the same - that people are probably exaggerating just how well their baby sleeps.

I'm not sure whether people are not telling the entire truth or whether their interpretation of sleeping through is different. I know that 5 hours is classed as sleeping through- and many parents may say their baby has hit this milestone because they only wake for two - three feeds and go straight back down afterwards.

Apparently, it is perfectly normal for a child to still not be sleeping a full solid 8 hours or more until they are 12 months old. I know that western culture in general seems to place a huge value on sleep habits so I wonder if people do feel pressured in to exaggerating the truth a little? Or am I just incredibly bitter that 8 haven't slept for more than a few hours at a time since DS (5mo) was born? After all, when someone says their baby slept through from 7 weeks, all I can think is that
surely they would need to wake to feed at such a young age??

I had it both ways. DS didn't sleep a full night until he was 2.5 years old. He was waking 2-3 times a night until then. I did feel a bit embarrassed and that it must be something I was 'doing wrong' as everyone else seemed to have cracked sleep much earlier.

Then I had DD, who slept 12 hours a night from 6 weeks old. I don't think many people believed me . But she did! (Fed like a beast all day, though!).

Our 3 each started to sleep from between 10 and 12 hours in their 7th week of life. We have no idea why or how. We couldn't tell anyone because they wouldn't have believed us. We lied and said they were still waking in the night!

(Oh, and I remember it so SO clearly because I was a sleep deprived lunatic with DS. The lack of sleep for 2 and a half fucking years nearly did me in. I had PND and felt like a zombie. I was dreading the same again with DC2, but she was a dream sleeper and it made parenthood so much more of a joy. So it was a big deal for me).

I never lied. All 3 of my babies dropped their middle of the night feed at 3am and slept from 12 (midnight) to 6 am (approximately) then we stretched it out bit by bit so they slept longer.
I couldn't care less if people believe me or not. 6 hours of sleep from 12-6 is fine by me. They did have the odd broken night due to teething or being poorly but they never regressed.

My son is 11 weeks old and for the past week has slept 12/13 hours without waking, every night. DS1 was the same and still is now at 2 years old. Both also nap in the day for several hours. Not lying, just lucky.

My sisters kids all slept through with no wakings unless ill, from 10-7pm, from about 8 weeks old. Every one of them. She has 3 kids. I am happy for her, but she does think that anyone's kids who don't sleep through are just doing it wrong. She even gradually adjusts the hours they slept over a week to take account of the clocks changing.

My two were good sleepers although I don't really remember from what age except that is was months rather than years. We co-slept and dream fed though, they would latch on and feed without either of us waking fully.

My eldest went into his own room at 2 and has never woken in the night since - he's now 19.

My youngest also went into his own room at 2. He struggled to actually fall asleep (and still does at 16) but once he was asleep he would stay asleep.

I think not being fully woken up has a bearing on how much sleep you feel you have had.

My DD slept through 8 hours at 4 weeks old, I lied to people so I didn't appear braggy.

I don't get the idea of lying because of societal expectations. Why would you bother?

I've seen a fair bit of the opposite. Mums downplaying good sleepers to be sensitive to other mums who are struggling.

Lots of babies are good sleepers. DS slept 8 hours from 10 weeks. Lots of my friends' babies did something similar - and many didn't. It's not outrageously unusual.

I had the worst sleeper in the world, it was truly truly awful and pushed me close to the edge several times, I remember reading an article that I was setting my child up for a life of sleep problems and I felt like the worst parent in the world. It was really hard to understand what I was doing wrong when my friends' babies all slept perfectly (it seemed).

It's really putting me off having another as I'm not sure I could cope again.

I realise I had been making a mistake though as I always counted the wake-ups whereas others consider sleeping 7-7 as sleeping for 12 hours even with feed in between

I think it depends, my 6 month old went through a stage of sleeping through at about 3 months month old for a good few weeks and thought we cracked it. Then he regressed and wakes up 1-2 times a night currently, no one has really asked me about the sleep (family wise) so they are probably under the impression he still does. I avoid the subject of sleep around in laws as I can’t be bothered getting into the argument about letting him cry so ‘he doesn’t win’. At the groups I go to they are pretty honest about sleep, with the majority not having great sleepers. The thing I’ve learnt is that his sleep patterns vary so much I don’t tend to say much as every few weeks is different!

People probably thought I was lying about my eldest (15) who slept through from 6 weeks old.

However, they hopefully believe me when I balance it out by telling them that my second (3) still doesn't sleep through every night (well since she was 4 months old, when we were allowed to stop waking her for feeds - she had feeding issues from birth).