To ask when you put your baby in their own room & why

[vampirina]

I know the guidelines are 6 months but don't know anyone in real life who moved them at precisely 6 months. We are at 5 and DD has started waking up (she's slept from 7-7 since she was 8w of her own accord) when we go to bed or move around. I'm wondering if she would sleep better in her own room soon, or if it would be more hassle for me as id have to get up and go to her rather than reach across.

So I'm curious, when did yours make the move and what was the catalyst?

Almost a year for both but my husband is Korean and he wanted them in with us til they were three! No thanks! He slept with his parents til he was 6 so he thought I was mad wanting them in their own room at 6 months. Massive cultural difference there.

DS was about 2 as I used to co-sleep but when now DH stayed over I'd sneak out and go and cuddle on the sofabed with him!! Noticed DS was sleeping better on the nights I wasn't there so decided it was time for his own bed/room.

I'm glad I waited until he could walk because it meant he went straight into a single bed and if he wanted me in the night he could come and get me which meant that I didn't have to get out of bed. This was also the reason for the co-sleeping. No regrets - will probably do again.

Thanks so much for all the responses! Interesting to see a range of answers.

There's a big age gap between my sister and I, so between us and my Mum the guidelines have changed almost for each person and baby. I don't doubt the guidelines but agree with PP who said each individual child is different.

I think it's time for us to tentatively give it a go!

Really interesting about the different cultural expectations too!

6 months.

That's the advice so i took it. We put her moses basket into her cot in her room.

She was sleeping through and it was nice to be able to go to bed/read/shag/get up for a wee without creeping about.

It was nice but i missed listening for her breathing! Decent monitor made it a bit less painful.

When they outgrew Moses basket as there wasn’t room in our bedroom for a cot
Co sleeping was not really considered as an option then

8 months when her room was finished. Id have moved her eariler but there were no walls in her room before then

Own room almost straight away (ie. less than a week) for both children, I am not sure I understand why they have to be in the same room?

Next door and doors open so we could hear them easily, but not every single shuffle and snuffle. Large comfy feeding chair all set up next to the baby's bed so the non-feeding parent could sleep well whilst the feeding one was up, and also possible for feeding one to be warm and snooze whilst feeding and re-settling the baby. I thought everyone did that! Genuinely no idea that parents had babies in with them past first couple of nights!

The summer after DD1 was 4. She had her own bed in with us (it was attached to ours until she was 3) and I wasn't ready to move her until then. She always slept well with us and we loved it.

Oh and with a monitor on low as well.

7 days old - first day back from hospital.

Perfect for all involved.

punchy - phew, glad it wasn't just me!

@anonymousbird As far as I know it's so you're breathing in the same room. This has been shown to reduce the risk of SIDS considerably but they don't understand exactly why. There are various theories.

That's the guidance in the UK but it hasn't always been.

Of course all over the World and at differing times here the guidelines have been different and so I don't think there's a right or wrong. Just different ways of assessing the risk.

We moved DS when he was 4.5 months because I was being constantly woken by him rolling over or snuffling etc. He was sleeping through fine at this point but I wasn't haha. I know perhaps it was selfish of me to move him early against the guidelines but I slept far better and was a lot more sane during the day after moving him! Now he is 9 months old and he wakes occasionally for a feed or because of his teeth but I still hear him and get to him before he starts crying.

PFB 4 months, DS 4 weeks
They were sleeping fine but I was waking up for every squeak or snuffle
Worked fine for us and although we are very close they’ve rarely woken up in the night and wanted to come into my bed - now they are 9 and 13 I sometimes wish they would !!

Thanks vampirina I didn't know there was specific guidance. We had all the doors open so were breathing the same air......

@TwittleBee I don't think it's selfish at all. I had PND and was so unbelievably sleep deprived, had she not started sleeping through at 8w (which typically is when the medication I was taking started to work and generally everything became amazing pretty quickly) I'm not sure I would have coped.

I think you have to make sure everyone is ok, like the oxygen masks in a plane you can't take care of others unless you take care of yourself!

The breathing theory is just a theory, they don't know why it reduces SIDS rates to room share, it just does. It could be breathing, or a lighter sleep or something else that researchers haven't thought of yet. It about halves the risk to room share.

We have the most up to date guidance so I'm not sure why differing advice in the past is relevant. The only difference in official advice in other countries as far as I'm aware is that some countries stipulate a longer period of room sharing (the evidence doesn't tell us how long you need to room share for - that has not been studied.) Either culturally or just different interpretation of the evidence. IIRC the UK is the only one to stipulate that room sharing also applies for all naps and daytime sleeps!

It's to do with the baby being able to hear other people breathing and it helping to regulate theirs. Or something.

When he was one because we kept waking each other up with our sleep noises and were both shattered.

First morning after his first night in his own room we were like new people!

He's four now and sometimes still comes in for a little cuddle but definitely sleeps better on his own in the quiet

@BertieBotts I mention past guidance because depending on when PP had their children, it may have not have been known. And I wanted to clarify by stating the guidelines I'm not saying this is what should / shouldn't have been done, or that anyone who moved their child prior is wrong. DD is my PFB and I'm asking for advice, not giving it!

I'm eternally grateful to have had my DD at a time where SIDS rates are so much lower than when I was born for example. I'm grateful for the research and guidelines but do believe that each child / family is different. And the answer I often see on here of '6 months is the guideline' doesn't help when you're wondering what others have done.

Just over 4 months with DS because he was waking every time ex-dp rolled over, and 6 months for DD because it was just me and her in the room and I don't move in my sleep

My dd1 was in a cot beside my bed for 15 months. We moved her to her own room then as I was 8 months pregnant with dd2, and wanted her to have a month settled in her own room before the birth, so she didn’t feel she’d been specifically pushed out to make room for dd2.

7 months, only because that’s when we went from a 1 bed flat to a 2 bed. He was sleeping through at 3 months and I’d have moved him then if I could.

First was 4 months second was 7 months. Both were being disturbed

My first child was 4.5 years old. We moved her because an additional bedroom had become available for the first time and we wanted more privacy, if you get my drift.

The second child was 6.5 years old. We moved her because her medical condition had improved to the point where she no longer needed to be checked frequently during the night, and we wanted privacy. Previously, it had been easier to keep her in our bed with us so we could check on her without getting up, plus we'd be more likely to notice seizures etc.