Instamums 3, 2.0

[blackmirror1]

Seeing as the original 3 got zapped.

@fruitbowl2

I think that was the right thing to do and I applaud you for it.

You haven't apologised, though, and you are deflecting somewhat by focusing on the implication that my language was misogynistic.

Not that different to the tactics that you criticise MOD et al for, is it?

This right here ladies and gentlemen is what women do best!

Tear each other apart

Express 'concern' for the children but rather using it as an ammunition to hurt

Whine and bitch about issues that have nothing to do with you or remotely affect you

You do you hun.

If this post stings then it is aimed at you

No wonder you're all called haters and trolls.

This thread has taken a sad turn..... And once again it will probably get taken down......censored once again.

Handsoffmysweets, I agree. The laws regarding children working in film and TV must apply to children being used for monetary gain by parents in SM.
A pp wrote about TV/film children having to have their own bank accounts.
If you're using your children to earn money surely then keeping that money for yourself isn't legal? At the very least it is extremely immoral, unethical and greedy. Surely if you can't earn enough money yourself to fund a designer lifestyle using your children to achieve this is the absolute worse.
I have older children who would disown me if I put their lives on SM. I think as the years progress litigation against parents is going to increase. So I suggest parents who do this stop and think very seriously about where the money is going.
Every blogger who posts about latest big new house, car or holiday should actually realise/admit that their children essentially bought it for them.

I know I said I was stepping away, but have you read any of these threads @GoldenBarbie?

Or were you just trying to gather all the really tedious, unoriginal and missing-the-points comments into one helpful post?

It’s been purposely derailed by sock puppets sadly once again. The irony of someone’s calling someone a troll while themselves having created an account purely for that purpose!

I think some great points have been made and I’ve gained a lot from the discussion. These points and these thoughts will keep popping up even if fans/instamums manage to get individual threads derailed or closed.

Sadly due to some posters again this debate will be shutt down and deleted.
I fear that was some posters intentions.
Can mumsnet strategically delete posts rather than a whole thread as felt we wrre getting somewhere with healthy debate yesterday.

I hope this gets taken down because some of you are so jealous and attempt to disguise it using some of these issues.

They can be clearer with their advertising but it's so boring now.

Motherpukka you do what you want with your instagram, others are monetising from their instagrams why shouldn't you?

buxbaum you're right. I do apologise, it was a nasty and uneccessary thing to say.

But she is monetizing it and clearly says so. Her ads are very clear . we want open debate stop trying to shut it down. A few posters have taken it too far but that is all.

fair play, fruitbowl

3asabird I agree - yesterday did feel like healthy debate which seems to be so often missing on mumsnet nowadays. I post very rarely as there usually always seems to be someone ready to pounce on anyone with a difference of opinion so was in the most part, pleasantly surprised by yesterday’s debate with those who disagreed with me.

I just wanted to add my piece, for what it is worth as these threads have really been an eye opener to what I was vulnerable to during my first pregnancy and baby.

One instamum in particular had me believing that it was possible to earn SMP, afford clothing from small businesses, decorate your house and go on holiday during maternity leave. I felt particularly dreadful as to how dreary my soon to be LO’s nursery looked (there were no wooden toys or prints about how much I loved him in sight) and felt like a terrible mother to be because his wardrobe consisted mostly of 2nd hand babygrows and no leggings or t-shirts with prints on them. It wasn’t until the thread on here last year that I became aware of #ad and the fact she had been gifted many of these things.

Soon after the thread, she posted about how happy she was with some clothing and nursery bits she had received from Primark and how happy she was with the quality. It was so disingenuous and not at all in the style of her previous posts. She had always been as someone who had only showcased smaller brands and #supportsmallbusinesses she was clearly saying yes to anything and everything and judging by her kid’s outfits since, she clearly doesn’t shop in Primark and wouldn’t buy their clothes ordinarily.

I would tailor my trips out around where I could take the perfect Instagram shot and would beat myself up after if my photos weren’t quite as artistic or my son’s outfit wasn’t quite “on point” that day. I even had a strop when my son was just a few days old and I was taking him out with my family for the first time for lunch all because I didn’t think his outfit was ‘instagram worthy’ and obviously I was the worse mum in the world for not being able to provide him with fab outfits.

TLDR; most of the instamums I followed made me feel really shitty about myself and the fact I wasn’t able to provide the same things for my son as they were their children, not realising they hadn’t bought these things themselves and were given them. I actually spent a relatively small fortune trying to keep up with them. I realise now what a complete idiot I had been!

You weren't an idiot, Forgottencoffee. You've described the power of advertising.

And your story is precisely why disclosure is so important. Consumers must not be misled.

@Forgottencoffee same. And the lack of photos I have of me with my son when he was a baby due to him being in a mismatched outfit or second hand babygrow or the background not being 'instaworthy' is something I'll be gutted about for the rest of my life. I was competing with these mums thinking they were just like me.. heck I might as well have been competing with Victoria beckham!!

This exactly why I want all gifts declared as ads.

I think the ease of posting on IG also attracts a bigger audience than say magazines, which you may not buy because you can't afford them in the first place. IG is accesibile from your armchair ...all these glossy well , put together snapshots of someone's life ....are not the reality . I'm sure many sahm who feel totally miserable seeing all these wonderful things they cannot afford , but justify buying them because they're being sold a lifestyle. They see the lovely home, the cute kid, the wonderful clothes and holidays ...possibly not realising that they are 'gifted'....
Life was a lot simpler before social media

Gosh I'm so sorry forgotten coffee that made me sad. I'm really sorry women aren't at local mum groups. We all had our babies in handmedowns and low end high street and really didn't care.

Goldenbarbie why and to whom would your post sting? You've been pretty much the rudest poster. The irony of people coming on the thread to complain about comments made on a thread about other people selling their lives and children.
It's so bizarre. Do the instamums really care what mumsnet threads say? Unlikely. The only reason they would care is if the points hit a nerve. And they should be questioning using their kids to make money and buy houses, and they should be questioning if they are flogging stuff in their position of influencer without it being obvious.
If people question integrity they are shut down.
And yet people who put every detail of their lives out there in minute detail and every detail of their children's lives, should not be discussed or mentioned because they are normal people who mean no harm? And people who discuss it negatively must be jealous.
It's just so ridiculous. If you don't want to be discussed, don't put it all out there. And if you sell your kids for mentary gain, take it on the chin. Don't hide and get others to come and call others names.
Why has not a single instamums addressed satisfactorily the issue of using their children as part of a brand?

Loolalion don't be gutted. Less is more with the baby pics honestly! I'm sure you have plenty of lovely pics. I took thousands of my first until my mum told me to get a grip and put down the camera/phone. You were spending time with your baby!

Ahh forgotten coffee i felt really sad reading your post. You not an idiot it highlights how other mothers maybe react to insta and advertising.

I have 3kids 12 8 and 7.
I joined insta when it was in its infancy.
Its changed a lot.
Must joined fb when eldest was toddler.
I used to think fb made me feel crap
I think Instagram is worse.

We all make mistakes as parents.
We all want the best for them
I think that makes us feel emotional about the right clothes/pram or nursery.

I keep saying to eldest comparison is theif of joy.

Im due my 4th and final soon
Got nearly everything 2nd hand or cheap shops so never feel crap about 2nd hand.
I really appreciate past photos i took as they truly do grow so fast.

Forgottencoffee I can really relate to your post, and I'm a lot older and more experienced as a mum. I didn't even realise it was happening. I saw these lives as reachable. And some are with hard work. Some instagrammers hit something original, a book or blog which was original or funny. But many are not. Many are lucky. And many have used their offspring. A lot of these people were privileged in the first place. I don't care where you were educated or what your perceived class is. We can all be vulnerable.
The problem seems to arise from people beginning out by sharing snippets of family and then accounts taking off. I followed a link on one occasion and had 3 beautiful prints in my basket when I stopped and realised that I've been holding off buying school bus passes because of the expense (would make life easier than driving) but I've got £79 of prints I don't need in a basket?!
These accounts are known as Social Media Influencers and they make money because they have lots of followers (to influence) so can people stop pretending that they are just lovely people who mean no harm. Of course they don't intend harm but they do or should have a responsibility. If not to the followers at the very least their children.

the only issue i have with 'instamums' and the like monetising their feed is that they are inexperienced in the field of marketing and there's no quality threshold. And by that I mean, advertising breakfast cereal with a jovial family breakfast that's obviously a fake set up as all the bowls and cups are empty, endorsing monogrammed bags that are quite expensive but the lettering peels off after only a few days, then ignoring and blocking followers who feel duped into a purchase.

I watch with interest over the next couple of weeks as to how this has been absorbed by the chief Instamums who have come in for the most flack and how it will translate.

Perhaps there will be a few more (Gleam) commitments to honour but as we are basically the target audience and this thread is (mostly) vital market intelligence I do wonder if there will be a change of tack through the school summer holidays for example.

The biggest thing this thread has made me ponder is do I delete my instagram as it's swimming with kid pics and now I'm chewing ny knickers about their right to privacy.

But that's a whole other thread...