Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Instamums 3, 2.0

999 replies

blackmirror1 · 27/03/2018 12:42

Seeing as the original 3 got zapped.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
Fruitbowl2 · 28/03/2018 19:47

Mumofkids this article? The headline sounds familiar eh! And here we are 7 months later!

www.google.co.uk/amp/www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4851220/amp/Insta-mums-slammed-ordinary-mothers.html

Fruitbowl2 · 28/03/2018 19:49

And #fishfingergate. A new low for journalism.

www.google.co.uk/amp/www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4508726/amp/Why-women-boasting-slummy-mummies.html

Mumofkids · 28/03/2018 19:51

That article is by a different woman to the one in Clemmie Telfords stories? Although it does show MOD on a holiday that she wasn't upfront about...

Mumofkids · 28/03/2018 19:53

Ahh fruitbowl yes it is the second one... quite a clever article in some ways.

Bumpitybumper · 28/03/2018 19:54

Heedmove Yes I think it's all rather incidious and the covert nature in which the whole thing is conducted sets it apart from other forms of advertising.

These Instamums seemingly invite you into their families and share intimate details about themselves with their audience to forge that initial connection. It's the kind of stuff you would normally only share with your friends so is it any wonder that people feel that they have a close personal connection with these women? The fact that a PP thought to message MOD about her preeclampsia just says it all. But and it's a big but, these women aren't your friends at all, you are actually strangers and they have not shown you their lives at all

What they're showing you is carefully curated snippets of their lives that will encourage engagement and maintain the facade of being aspirational but still relatable. The instamums need to get the balance between these two things right to influence their audience to buy stuff otherwise Instagram and social media just doesn't pay. So they need to appear to be like you and your family but better and more perfect.

It makes me angry as it of course will make people feel bad about themselves and that is part of the sales technique. Prey on people's insecurities and vulnerabilities. You can be more like this perfect instamum and her family of you buy X,Y or Z.

I actually think MP isn't guilty of the above. If anything I think she cares too much about her audience and what they think of her. Some influencers can be arseholes but then so can some consumers of the content and she shouldn't take all criticism to heart.

Fruitbowl2 · 28/03/2018 19:55

Ah I don't watch stories. Not Anna May something, middle aged, grey hair, pushy mum?

Fruitbowl2 · 28/03/2018 19:58

I was really surprised by people saying they'd dmed these folk. I can't think of anyone I would be less likely to contact. They are not your friends! (Unless they are, obviously).

PavlovaPrincess · 28/03/2018 20:00

Ha, I remember that thread (I was on it under a different name. Can't remember what, but none of those quotes were mine).

There were so many deletions it looked like Swiss cheese by the end of it. Susie Verill came on and didn't really get it and so did MP. That's when my perception of her started to change. I didn't really 'get' here or her campaign before but because she came on here to answer questions and defend herself, she really impressed me with what she said. And she's been happy to answer questions about Flexi working when I may have been a bit rude and intrusive about it Blush

The #fishfingergate article was vile but I did get fed up of seeing photos of frozen fish fingers from the usual suspects.

Fruitbowl2 · 28/03/2018 20:00

Yes mumofkids, notably in the first article only MP has marked her post #ad 8 months ago!

IsThisAWindUp · 28/03/2018 20:00

I'm constantly surprised by the DMs as well.

KitKat1002 · 28/03/2018 20:03

Hello. So, I've been watching all these various Instamum threads unfold, and I'd like to offer a perspective. I'm friends with a majority of the women that you talk about (not 'friends', like 'Instafriends', but friends in real life). I'm also a very active blogger and 'persona' on IG. I'd like to say that, although the majority of points on here are interesting and valid perspectives, I think it does have a fair bit of 'they put themselves out there so they are fair game and I will lurk and comment and take them down a few pegs to make them remember how to be real'.

These women are all really lovely, and hard working, and honest and strong and earning a dime, whilst also flying by the seat of their pants as to how to navigate 'Instafame'. We don't always agree with each other on certain things, but they respect my hustle and I respect theirs. What most of these women are also doing, is using their voices to do something they find interesting and compelling. Now, that may not be finding the cure to cancer, sure, but it may be doing something that gets attention for whatever reason, and it makes them want to keep doing what they're doing. They're being vocal, and isn't that what we want women to be doing, ultimately? Is being vocal? They're not telling you all to buy Dorset cereal if you don't want to, for example. They just like it, and the brand wants them to rep the cereal, and a happy collaboration is there, so they're sharing it. Don't like Dorset? Ignore it. Don't eat it. No big deal.

They aren't hurting anyone, they're doing something fun, that makes some money, that makes them take fun photos and collaborate with brands, and gets them to have a fun few (or more) years exploring the whole weird social media world. Now, sure, we're ALL reminding ourselves to put #AD on there, or #gifted, and I think that point was well made in the very original 'Fed up of Instamums' thread from last year. We got it. But sometimes, we still get it wrong. We're only human. Humans that like a hell of a good filter and a gifted moisturiser.

You don't have to agree with it, and you have a right to ask questions, but there's asking a simple question, and then there's being snarky and sounding envious. The way to approach anything is with grace and professionalism. And if you don't have your questions answered, then it's probably because the Instamum has hundreds of other people asking questions and they don't really have time to address all of them in the detail that the commenters want. Also, there's the thing of never pleasing everyone, and that's just tough.

I agree that sometimes it can feel a bit 'unreal', and trust me, navigating Instagram is a minefield when it comes to that. You want to promote something and work with brands and make some money, but you also want to be authentic and not sound wanky so that you ideally don't offend anyone. But you're always going to offend someone, and that's okay too.

We are ALL learning as we go. All of the 'Instamums', and all of us on here. Opinions are great, but sometimes, when you say what you have to say, the best thing to do maybe is not to hang around and keep stewing about it and wonder why that person didn't agree/respond/address your point. That's just life, and like so so so many people on here have said-- if you don't find an IG account inspiring, and you don't understand why they're doing what they're doing, don't hate. Don't try to 'school' them. Just unfollow and find someone that suits your life better.

Thanks for reading.

IsThisAWindUp · 28/03/2018 20:06

A lot of the fish finger article is comprised of direct quotes lifted off their posts. They look pretty awful out of context but were probably quite funny when they were posted originally with the accompanying pictures. Hurrah For Gin is very funny, but did start a bit of a movement I suppose, which the writer has picked up on.

Fruitbowl2 · 28/03/2018 20:07

Can of worms kitkat!

kirinm · 28/03/2018 20:10

Kit Kat you appear to have missed the point spectacularly.

Fruitbowl2 · 28/03/2018 20:11

kikat I don't think these threads would have happened if #ad had been put on posts with paid, perks or gifted stuff. It's great everyone is trying to 'remember' it now.

Does that sound snarky or envious?

PavlovaPrincess · 28/03/2018 20:12

They're being vocal, and isn't that what we want women to be doing, ultimately?

Of all the things these women could use their 'voices' for, and they're using them to to sell Dorset Cereal?

But all the rest of us women aren't allowed to speak in return, we just have to unfollow.

Gotcha.

HolyMountain · 28/03/2018 20:13

kitkat

Who is your IG persona?

KitKat1002 · 28/03/2018 20:14

Pavlova, did I say you were forced to not speak and unfollow? No.

Mumofkids · 28/03/2018 20:16

@Kitkat1002 very clear that you have completely missed the point.
Regarding dm's I did say I'd had a dm with MOD a long time ago when the account was much smaller and it was midwifery related (not advice for myself) to be honest back then she quite often said dm me about alsorts of things. Of course the account is different now. It's not a regular thing to do.

rosybell · 28/03/2018 20:17

KitKat - I genuinely am sure that these women are lovely. They remind me of my actual friends which is why I followed them in the first place. Just to address one point in your post-people are not in the most part moaning about dms not being replied to but they are finding they are being deleted / blocked by just asking a question. This doesn't feel like insta-mums being too overwhelmed to answer but it feels like lack of transparency yet again.

mrscampbellblackreturns · 28/03/2018 20:17

God the envious/jealous stuff is just so tedious. The demographic of mn has always been fairly affluent - just see the number of threads about private schools Wink

Many of us can afford to buy our own stuff and lovely holidays and the main points we had were about transparency and exploiting children.

Personally I don't follow the majority of 'instamums' mentioned on here because they don't interest me. And lordy everyone on mn knows that you give your children eggs for breakfast never ever cereal even from Dorset Wink

I think the point has been made and people like mp and doesmybum have been very measured in their dealings with mn.

Some bloggers are never going to disclose and that is entirely up to them, well until asa catches up with them. But for longevity I think those that do will do better.

PavlovaPrincess · 28/03/2018 20:17

Don't try to 'school' them. Just unfollow

@KitKat1002 That's exactly what you said.

GingerFoxInAT0phat · 28/03/2018 20:20

Oh dear Hmm

Stellastartsitall · 28/03/2018 20:20

Remember it took the original mumsnet thread to blow the lid open the underhand tactics going on. The was a very bitchy backlash from instamums. But now some are trying to be transparent which is great. But still a really long way to go. If that thread didn't cause a stir insta mummies would have been perfectly happy to continue the deception despite the ASA rules being very clear.

IsThisAWindUp · 28/03/2018 20:25

I genuinely am sure that these women are lovely. They remind me of my actual friends which is why I followed them in the first place.

Precisely.

People come onto MN to discuss these issues because they don't feel they can be raised on Insta. People get blocked, hounded off threads, deleted for asking questions that we can debate over here. And now blogger personas are coming here trying to shut down the conversation again. I actually hadn't been on mumsnet for almost 10 years before realising this conversation about Instagram transparency was happening over here and realised there were other people thinking the same as I was.

Swipe left for the next trending thread