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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think waiting rooms are not playgrounds

380 replies

FairfaxAikman · 27/03/2018 10:36

Feeling like utter crap today and functioning on very little sleep as a result I hauled myself to a GP appointment this morning.
In the waiting room was a toddler who was LOUD!
They were running around the whole of the large waiting room pushing a large digger and shouting and squealing at the top of their voice.

I'm all for kids playing and enjoying themselves, but AIBU to think a Doctors waiting room, which is full of sick people, is not the time or place for it?

OP posts:

Imsosceptical · 27/03/2018 15:15

I Can honestly say in such situations I feel great empathy and understanding and would offer to help, the difference is seeing a parent doing their very best and showing respect for others, that melts my heart and I’m always happy to step in and offer help, support and reassurance, ,y tolerance levels are limitless when I see a parent doing their best to respect others xxxxxx

BubblesAndSquarks · 27/03/2018 15:15

I make an effort to do volume control in waiting rooms, but adding together hospital appointments and gp appointments DD2 is in waiting rooms every 1-2 weeks, and is 1 and a half.

Sometimes appointments are half an hour plus late, hospital appointments shes sometimes already been there for hours for scan and then goes to the consultant area to wait to see them.

I doubt many or any toddlers would sit still and quietly for that length of time. They are naturally curious about everything and wanting to explore and learn, and in my daughters case still too young to understand what I'm saying so I can't explain to her.

They shouldn't be running around and shouting, but normal noise of playing, occasionally banging things etc is better than a child strapped in a buggy crying!

Imsosceptical · 27/03/2018 15:21

When a parent is clearly engaging with their child in order to keep them occupied and distracted is something I NEVER have a problem with and totally respect, meanwhile, the parent flicking through a magazine, ignoring their child and certainly not taking time to stop them pestering other patients just annoys me and does my head in, I don’t think I’ve offended many with my comments, just shamed the few, I’m overall supportive and very helpful to those tying their best xx

BarryChuckle · 27/03/2018 15:27

YABU.

I waited with my two year old to be seen for 90 minutes at our surgery this morning. He wasn’t screaming but was chatting away quite loudly at times. It’s totally unrealistic to expect toddlers to sit still and be quiet for 90 minutes.

No one wants to be there, especially with a poorly child, but that’s life I’m afraid.

NutElla5x · 27/03/2018 15:37

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

NutElla5x · 27/03/2018 15:42

I don’t think I’ve offended many with my comments, just shamed the few, I’m overall supportive and very helpful to those tying their best Oh to be such a perfect person as you (Are you sure you wouldn't like to change your moniker to 'Imsospecial').Who is it you have shamed by the way,just out of interest?

RachelTeeth · 27/03/2018 15:44

It’s so weird when people bleat ‘but you were a kid once!’ to excuse someone not bothering to parent, people say it to childfree people as well-what the fuck?! 😄 no one consents to being brought into existence, so yes Simpleton, I was indeed a kid, well done, very perceptive, and it was my parents duty to keep me under control.

TomRavenscroft · 27/03/2018 15:52

It’s so weird when people bleat ‘but you were a kid once!’ to excuse someone not bothering to parent

I know. Yes, I was, and I'd have been spoken to/taken out firmly if I'd tried to run shrieking round a waiting room.

OneStepSideways · 27/03/2018 16:12

Yes, I was, and I'd have been spoken to/taken out firmly if I'd tried to run shrieking round a waiting room

Taken out where? I wouldn't risk missing the appointment. I do speak firmly to my toddler but it isn't always enough to stop her shrieking and running around. Our GP often runs 40 minutes late. Expecting a toddler to sit quietly for that length of time is ridiculous, especially if they're unwell or have missed their nap to attend the appointment.

To be completely honest, if people start glaring and tutting because she's talking too loudly or clattering in the toy box, I do less to quieten her. People are horribly intolerant of babies and toddlers these days. I've seen people huff and roll their eyes at screaming newborns in the waiting room.

TomRavenscroft · 27/03/2018 16:21

Probably outside, with a threat that I'd be for it if I didn't behave well enough to be taken back in and we missed the appointment.

LucreziaBoredYa · 27/03/2018 16:37

It's not everyone, not even the majority but I do notice a fair few parents staring at their phones and ignoring their toddlers in public spaces. That's sth that's changed since my teens were that age.

Lizzie48 · 27/03/2018 16:41

It was always the last place on Earth I wanted to be, in the waiting room with my DDs when they were toddlers. I only did it when I absolutely had to, when one of them really needed to see the GP. Thankfully for me, I could arrange my own appointments for when my DH was at home, but for a lot of mums this just isn't possible. I really would have nothing but sympathy for the mother.

Gottagetmoving · 27/03/2018 16:43

I pity you for disliking children so much that you can't take pleasure in seeing them enjoying themselves.It must be a sad life for you

But no one minds kids enjoying themselves and I'm sure imsosceptical has no problem with that either.
You miss the whole point that it's the parent that's the problem, and that it's their responsibility to occupy the child and start teaching the child that they can't run about it certain places.
I'm sure you wouldn't tell a parent it's ok to let their child run around near a road? It's just as important to teach them that there are other places it's not good to do that out of respect for others.
You don't wait until a child is ten to teach it that.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 27/03/2018 16:48

Nutella you sound really uncouth and really quite nasty. This thread has obviously hit a nerve with you and I can guess why.

Amanduh · 27/03/2018 16:49

It doesn’t sound like the toddler was ‘running riot’ good luck controlling a child of that age, what do you expect her to do?! The toddler was happy and playing, so you had to watch/hear her for what 5-30 mins max?!

Lizzie48 · 27/03/2018 16:51

I think the problem is that it's so difficult to get an appointment at a convenient time these days, you have to go to a walk-in and wait. That can mean waiting for ages with a very restless toddler who won't keep still. It would very likely have been even more stressful for the mum than for you.

It's not the same as a parent choosing to take a child to a pub or a restaurant and letting them mess around.

Gottagetmoving · 27/03/2018 17:15

It's not the same as a parent choosing to take a child to a pub or a restaurant and letting them mess around

Yes it is.

Teateaandmoretea · 27/03/2018 17:23

At our doctors they didn't let you take pushchairs in. Dd2 was really well behaved strapped in her pushchair at 2 and there was plenty of room. Out of it she was a complete nightmare, it made no sense at all.

OneStepSideways · 27/03/2018 17:24

You miss the whole point that it's the parent that's the problem, and that it's their responsibility to occupy the child and start teaching the child that they can't run about it certain places

The alternative is you hold toddler on your lap so they can't run about. Which will likely result in ear splitting screaming and thrashing. Is this better for the patients in the waiting room? I think most would rather the toddler running a bit noisily than screaming at full volume?

It's not as easy as you think to 'occupy' an unwell two year old who has been waiting in a stuffy, claustrophobic room. Of course you try to entertain them and teach appropriate behaviour, but you're unlikely to get far when they're ill, tired and restless.

Teateaandmoretea · 27/03/2018 17:24

I know. Yes, I was, and I'd have been spoken to/taken out firmly if I'd tried to run shrieking round a waiting room.

Being taken out of a GP waiting room is hardly a deterrent is it?

NutElla5x · 27/03/2018 17:25

You miss the whole point that it's the parent that's the problem, and that it's their responsibility to occupy the child and start teaching the child that they can't run about it certain places How do you know what sort of a day that mother was having though?Seeing as though she was in a doctor's waiting room the chances are that she was unwell herself.Maybe she suffers with depression?Maybe her child is a handful and she was just relieved it was just playing and not throwing a paddy or causing an even worse nuisance of itself.How do you know the mother hadn't been in the waiting room for some time and had kept her child still and quiet as long as we possibly could before giving up?Why is it the mothers getting accused of being selfish/ entitled and not people like the OP,who is intolerant to noise and so expects silence wherever she goes.Why can't we as women and mothers support each other instead of judging each other? I'm sure you wouldn't tell a parent it's ok to let their child run around near a road? No,because that would be very dangerous wouldn't it.

NutElla5x · 27/03/2018 17:28

Nutella you sound really uncouth and really quite nasty. This thread has obviously hit a nerve with you and I can guess why. Guess away,I'm waiting .....

NutElla5x · 27/03/2018 17:30

Post above was for GreatDuck

MrMeSeeks · 27/03/2018 17:31

NutElla5x
Are you able to have a response on here without insulting people?

Original poster

FairfaxAikman · 27/03/2018 17:32

Wow such judgement of me despite saying I have no problems with kids playing loudly if it's the time and place, which I don't think a GPs surgery is.
There is a difference between playing appropriately indoors and running riot the full length of the waiting room. There is a difference between the child being allowed to run riot and the parent unsuccessfully trying to keep disturbance to a minimum. It's the effort that's appreciated and the lack of it that's annoying.
I DO NOT expect absolute silence, just a bit of consideration for others in the appropriate settings.
And yes I may be being grumpy but I was in a lot of pain this morning and was simply not in the mood.

OP posts:

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