To think my parents are making a mistake?

[FizzyCherry]

My parents are both of retirement age, Mum is 69, Dad is 72.
Due to various reasons they didn’t get a mortgage until 20 years ago and both still work to pay it off, but they have at least 7 years left on it.

They have decided they want to retire, sell the house and buy a static home at a holiday park. They’re convinced it’s their ideal solution.

I totally understand their logic but I can’t help feeling they are being lured into a situation they will end up regretting.

If they sell the house, they can clear the mortgage and buy a static home outright with money left over.

However, they still have to pay the equivalent of 2/3 of their mortgage in ground rent and various other fees.
The park has swimming pool, gym etc, they are “free to use” - but that’s another £120 a month membership (!)
They must vacate their home for the whole of February every year so the site residents can avoid council tax.
Plus a friend of theirs lived somewhere similar that the owner decided to sell to developers. They were given £45,000 to “buy somewhere new”, after having lived there 10 years. They only owned the home, not the land, so that actually wasn’t a bad offer, but obviously nowhere near enough to start again.
So although they won’t have a mortgage, their outgoings will still be quite high, and they won’t have the same income, and they will need at least one car because this place is in the middle of nowhere. Plus at the end of the day, they will have nothing to show for it.

I have visited and it’s nice, but I think they are so attracted to the idea of living on a holiday park they are not seeing the full picture.

In addition, it’s in the countryside, where my mum has always insisted she could never live.

I asked if they would even consider this village if they were looking at houses, they said not for a second.

I fully support them in needing to make a move (and the house they’re in they only bought when I was 20, I only lived there 2 years so there’s no childhood sentiments involved).
Nor is this about inheritance before anyone says anything.
Although we’re not well off now, my husband stands to inherit quite well and my parents have never had much, plus have several kids, so it’s never been something we really think about,

But AIBU to be wary of this solution? Their current house is five minutes from mine and they are convinced that I’m trying to put them off because it’s convenient for babysitting etc but I genuinely am not remotely thinking about me or my needs, I’m an adult who can sort my own life.

I haven’t told them this but my husband and I have been trying to work out a way to help my parents pay the mortgage off but we’re just not in that position right now.
Nor can we offer them a spare room for February every year, we don’t have one. Nor do my siblings (one does but he lives abroad and my parents don’t like flying so he comes here for visits).

I suppose what I’m looking for is reassurance that I am BU, or at least more experiences of why I’m not.

I have suggested they look at retirement flats etc, my mum thinks they are for “old people”.

They like their house and would stay if they could afford it.

WWYD?

Also, their parents (in their late 80s) live in a disabled adapted static and it's been great for them - moving out of their semi detached house that was absolutely no good for mobility issues.

These places look nice, but the ongoing costs are huge. You almost need to do a spreadsheet for your parents showing the year on year costs, including accommodation for the month they have to move out. Those park homes are a depreciating asset, more like a car than a house which will generally increase or at least retain its value.

Without knowing where you are, and how much their house is worth it's difficult to advise. But I'm imagining as you say you have several siblings that they are currently in at least a 3 bed house. So what about a 1 bed bungalow or flat (bungalow would be my preference, mainly because of avoiding service charges and neighbour issues). Are they able to do a bit of diy? Could they look at moving to a cheaper area?

If I were them I'd be looking at bungalows or if they were too expensive then a flat. But definitely not a park home.

Of course if you are disabled then an adapted static caravan is better than a standard 3 bedroom house however better still would be an adapted flat
The crux of the matter is that a caravan is a depreciating asset whereas a flat generally isn't

You can only adapt a static so far.
The size of room and strength of the building is always going to be an issue
Wheelchairs need a massive turning circle.
Carers are not permitted to work without certain equipment and the accommodation has to be suitable for that equipment.
I wouldn't recommend anyone with a disability move into one if they had an alternative.

I frigging HATE it when the OP doesn't come back.

Yoo hoo......?!

They like their house and would stay if they could afford it. They are moving so they can retire and be mortgage free. They are attracted to a holiday park because they think retirement flats are for old people. We don't know where they live or what their budget is, but I'm pretty sure these are not their only two options. Surely they can sell their house and use the proceeds to buy something smaller outright - if they like the holiday aspect then they could buy in a seaside town. There have been other concerns raised her such as what happens when they are old and infirm and what will they with all their stuff if they have to downsize, but these are unlikely to be persuasive arguments when their reason for moving is a financial one. The OP needs to demonstrate that financially it is not in their interests in the long term.

This sounds like a disaster waiting to unfold, to be honest.

I'd recommend seeing a financial advisor to do some cashflow forecasting, so they can actually SEE the effects on their income and savings going forward. They can compare current situation, with planned scenario, as well as building in 'disaster' events to show them the effect than one big expense (as an example) can have.

They would also be able to suggest other viable solutions to explore.

It's difficult when people you love choose to do something that we feel to be unwise. It happens with our children too. If we love someone we have to give them the freedom to make their own choice but hopefully your parents are just considering this one of many options. They may not even be aware of all options available. Might they consider buying a property abroad or renting theirs out till the mortgage is finished and renting abroad. It's certainly possible to have a holiday lifestyle and the private pool on this one is warm enough for 8 months use!

www.rightmove.co.uk/overseas-property/property-59871875.html

One of my retired relatives did this - the rent for the pitch increased significantly, the bottled gas to heat the van had to be bought on site at an overinflated rate. After 10 years the van was no longer allowed to stay on the pitch as it looked old and the site wanted only newer stock. As well as having no resale value it incurred a cost to get it off in their short time scale.
And the insulation was terrible so temperature and noise were impossible to control (& the adjacent van had noisy occupants).

Also, have they considered what will happen if one, or both of them, end up needing care? Become immobile? Need emergency care?

I think you are right to be concerned and that you should try to intervene I can see that at 72 your father may want to stop work and who would blame him. However, I am just helping friends deal with the fallout from their parents making a similar decision. In his case, the parents decided they wanted sunshine for their arthritis and bought a small apartment in Spain, selling their house in London an divying up the inheritance amongst their three sons. Hasn't worked out as they are lonely, the Spanish medical system is not what they want and Mum is now in a wheelchair which doesn't fit with the Spanish home. They have arrived back in the UK and are staying with the eldest son (my friend). The Spanish home has lost money, they have no additional resource and someone is going to have to do something. Don't let your parents commit to a scheme which may be attractive in the short term but will most likely leave them with bigger problems down the line.

You could put it to them that if retirement flats are for ‘old people’ then caravan parks like these could be seen as being for ‘old poor people’
Just sayin

I frigging HATE it when the OP doesn't come back.

Me too. And everybody is posting variations of the same thing.

Of course this is a huge mistake. The caravan will rapidly depreciate in price, whereas a house will always appreciate. They’ll be left with an asset that they’ll be lucky to sell for a pittance. Get them to seek proper financial advice.

You can only give advice OP. I begged my mum not to sell her mortgage free flat when we both moved cities. I told her to rent it out and use the rent money to pay her rent here. (Unfortunately it’s a more expensive city so selling her flat wouldn’t have yielded enough income to buy anywhere)

Upshot is, she’s now nearing 70 and has to work full time. I hate seeing it and I can’t afford to help out but I know I have her the options, she just chose to ignore them. You should do the same.

I think you should step back and remember that they are the parents and have a right to make their own decisions, regardless of what those decisions are. They have worked all their lives and paid their way.

That said, I can understand why you feel worry for them and their situation.

But that still doesn’t mean you can make them change their mind but you could make sure they know about all their options.

Whatever they decide, let them know that you are behind them, and don’t let it break you apart. It’s awful knowing your parents are out there but don’t want anything to do with you because of a stupid argument.

I can't help thinking that poor judgement can be one of the early signs of dementia. If that is the case, they OP would be wrong not to try to stop them making this move.

Some caravan sites are registered as Permanent. No need to vacate for a month, able to properly register for GP etc. One near me is practically an old persons home. But a lot of adjustments would be needed.... Beds for starters! the ones they come in are just not suited to permanent use! :(

Op,

Oh god it sounds like your parents have a plan. You are absolutely not unreasonable. I wouldn’t want to live in a static over winter. It’s a “holiday home” it won’t seem like a holiday after the first freezing winter. Find alternatives if you can and help them make a sensible decision.. retirement flats, bungalow etc in sensible price range.

Equity release also ridiculous.

Good luck OP.

I have extended family members making equally bonkers choices and it is not easy.

I want to move to Cyprus now ...

We are currently going through a major decluttering phase. I am being so ruthless. The old VHS tapes went years ago
I'm now left with 100's of CD's & DVDs
There must be well over 500 combined. I cannot remember the last time I listened to a CD and I've rewatched only a handful of the DVDs in the past 5yrs.
The CD's are mostly on the iPod and most of the DVDs are either on Netflix or YouTube

My current thought is chuck the cases and slip them all into those big wallets then bung the lot in the loft.

Anybody else had the same problem?

I love caravans! But even on summer nights can get very cold in a static home- if it were my parents I’d encourage a compromise- to downsize to a ground floor flat or bungalow: so much easier to heat, with all the freedom of owning their own property outright. You’re not BU

Oh my god!!
Sorry, don't know why that's posted here

Ignore please
Still trying to find my way around

(2nd post)

You're not being unreasonable at all OP. Who is going to have to pick up the pieces when it goes tits up, which imo it will.

Drop the word retirement and replace flat with apartment. They should at least be able to pay off some or all of their mortgage that way.