To think my parents are making a mistake?

[FizzyCherry]

My parents are both of retirement age, Mum is 69, Dad is 72.
Due to various reasons they didn’t get a mortgage until 20 years ago and both still work to pay it off, but they have at least 7 years left on it.

They have decided they want to retire, sell the house and buy a static home at a holiday park. They’re convinced it’s their ideal solution.

I totally understand their logic but I can’t help feeling they are being lured into a situation they will end up regretting.

If they sell the house, they can clear the mortgage and buy a static home outright with money left over.

However, they still have to pay the equivalent of 2/3 of their mortgage in ground rent and various other fees.
The park has swimming pool, gym etc, they are “free to use” - but that’s another £120 a month membership (!)
They must vacate their home for the whole of February every year so the site residents can avoid council tax.
Plus a friend of theirs lived somewhere similar that the owner decided to sell to developers. They were given £45,000 to “buy somewhere new”, after having lived there 10 years. They only owned the home, not the land, so that actually wasn’t a bad offer, but obviously nowhere near enough to start again.
So although they won’t have a mortgage, their outgoings will still be quite high, and they won’t have the same income, and they will need at least one car because this place is in the middle of nowhere. Plus at the end of the day, they will have nothing to show for it.

I have visited and it’s nice, but I think they are so attracted to the idea of living on a holiday park they are not seeing the full picture.

In addition, it’s in the countryside, where my mum has always insisted she could never live.

I asked if they would even consider this village if they were looking at houses, they said not for a second.

I fully support them in needing to make a move (and the house they’re in they only bought when I was 20, I only lived there 2 years so there’s no childhood sentiments involved).
Nor is this about inheritance before anyone says anything.
Although we’re not well off now, my husband stands to inherit quite well and my parents have never had much, plus have several kids, so it’s never been something we really think about,

But AIBU to be wary of this solution? Their current house is five minutes from mine and they are convinced that I’m trying to put them off because it’s convenient for babysitting etc but I genuinely am not remotely thinking about me or my needs, I’m an adult who can sort my own life.

I haven’t told them this but my husband and I have been trying to work out a way to help my parents pay the mortgage off but we’re just not in that position right now.
Nor can we offer them a spare room for February every year, we don’t have one. Nor do my siblings (one does but he lives abroad and my parents don’t like flying so he comes here for visits).

I suppose what I’m looking for is reassurance that I am BU, or at least more experiences of why I’m not.

I have suggested they look at retirement flats etc, my mum thinks they are for “old people”.

They like their house and would stay if they could afford it.

WWYD?

Sorry, haven't read all the threads.

Show your parents this thread as there's lots of good advice.

Hope all goes well.

SundayGirls - you are right, assisted living properties are not cheap. There is a £250,000 flat, with a charge of around £700 pm service charge.

Argh. Sounds like a nightmare.

You have my utmost sympthies.

I'm also suffering with older parents who don't see themselves as "old".

My parent needs to move from a cheap-ish part of the country to an expensive bit -trading their 4 bed house for even a much smaller house isn't going to work. Retirement properties, however, due to the limited market and ongoing service charges (which they could afford from pension) are well within financial reach.

Won't even look at them as they are for old people. My parent has a life limiting diagnosis, their function is only going to deteriorate and they will need the facilities / help the retirement home offers.

It is so fucking frustrating as it is my sibs and I who will end up picking up the pieces.

It sounds as if many of these caravan parks are run as mini dictatorships

Anyway haven't they watched two trailer park boys?

No, it would end up a disaster, My brother moved into one at age 56, all was well when it was a novelty, but you are at the mercy of the site owners, and they can be like feudal overlords, and specialist lawyers are few and far between. When he was unable to drive at one point it was a long walk to an infrequent bus service to anywhere with shops or the doc. He regretted ever moving there and lost money on it. It was a year round one too. Your parents are a lot older than this. You cannot guarantee good health in old age and a broken hip can happen at any time. Some people remain well for a long time but you can't guarantee that. When my parents became unwell, they needed hospital beds, zimmers, reclining chairs, wheelchairs, the works; can't imagine how they'd have coped in a park home, and what if you had to move out for the month at a time when you were recovering from an operation, or ill in bed.

Financially always look at the entire cost of where they are going to live, Macarthy and stone have high overheads, and as someone said bought new they depreciate. If unable to drive or use public transport how much would taxis cost from their park home. If their house is suitable for disabled living with not too much adaptation, brainstorm ways to cut the cost - could they take in a lodger for example. Or refinance so they are paying less. If it would need a lot of work, eg no loo downstairs, would moving to a cheaper property work better

Money is not a mystery most of the time set up a spread sheet and show it to them. As a,parent, I have to warn you, sometimes we do not tell you everything. They may have other reasons.

You're a good daughter.

YANBU

Are your parents in an expensive area? If so, the obvious solution is that they move to a flat which isn't in a retirement block in a cheaper area.They could join a gym with a nice swimming pool for a lot less than £120 a month!

If they won't listen to you or your brother, do you know any financial advisers or lawyers who could talk to them (even if it means paying for advice)? They may accept someone else explaining why moving to a park home is such a bad idea, more easily from a respected professional than a family member.

Haven't rtwt but YANBU. Can your parents rent out their house?

surely they must know at some level that this is risky but they feel they can 'afford' to take the risk because the children will feel morally obliged to step in and help if it doesnt work out?

It's an awful idea the toilet is tiny and Extremely cold brrr
At night older people need to use the bathroom more often, can they cope with the cold. They also have very small showers also cold.
Yikes they are making a big mistake.
In your head in a brochure in the heat of summer lovely but not for a holiday park.
Try a retirement village much better idea truly.
Good luck 🍀 ☓

FizzyCherry I'm 68. You are a wonderful daughter and SIL. Your anxieties are based on reasonable grounds. I hope your parents will decide against this choice. It is not secure, as you have pointed out. Can they get independent advice from a Financial Adviser who understands mortgages and other things?

I am in enormous sympathy with you. I think I cause my children a lot of worry, my health isn't good and I find it hard to manage but I insist that I would go crazy if I had to leave my house, at least not just yet. I feel so sorry for you young ones worrying about us.

However, if your parents lose their financial security in their home, they could be in a very difficult position. I would try to get this across to them as best you can.

I have been looking to move and downsize, and want to be by the sea. So holiday homes come up on Rightmove. But at my age I would never live somewhere that I had to vacate for a whole month each year and which effectively isn't entirely mine at my own disposal. It is far too insecure at a time of life when one needs to know one is safe at home.

There are lovely places at lower prices available freehold. I do hope your parents see the advantages of buying one of these and owning it as their very own with no overheads other than the normal house-owner has. They can join a good club to have access to a swimming pool and so on. I have done this in the past. It was far cheaper than the price of the holiday park fees.

In the end it has to be their decision. They are very lucky to have you. You are a loving and caring daughter. I don't want you to get ill worrying about them. They have to look after themselves and I am not saying that in a cross voice! Whatever they decide I am sure you will support them and if they do go to the holiday chalet type place and it fails, please try not to be angry with them. I find life very difficult now, being my age. It's not what I expected. Of course I'm on my own, disabled, and have had a lot of trauma to deal with but I didn't expect my late 60s onwards to be so hard. I still hope to sort out my life and have a nice home to retire to but it is so difficult to do! Maybe your parents are like me? Maybe they have a bit of a dream and aren't quite prepared to face the down-sides to their hopes and dreams? Try to treat them gently but firmly and try to be positive that the right home will be found for them.

Good luck, you lovely girl and lovely SIL!

I had this with a parent recently. Coming up 80! I had to lay it on the line and say very clearly that if they went ahead, I wouldn’t be in a position to help them if they were ailing. Not won’t help them. But literally between young kids, full time job etc, I just couldn’t have helped them as well. I’m on my feet full on for 15 hours a day as it is. Luckily I got through to them and they’re getting a much more suitable property.

Sounds controlling and harsh doesn’t it. But I believe that if I’m expected to pick up the pieces for them in their 80’s, then they’ve got to make it so it’s not completely impossible for me to do so.