To ask how you coped with a pregnancy/baby you couldn't afford?

[ivyrosa]

Just that really, we are both so desperate to start a family together and we keep waiting until the right time for years now, mainly due to large debts. We now have £11k debts left between us on credit cards, loans but we have good credit ratings and always meet the repayments/overpay on monthly basis. We earn just under £50k a year between us which isn't a huge amount but we only have £100 living costs each month (rent/bills/etc) due to some lucky circumstances. We get by each month pretty much pay day to pay day, always seem to have a week of struggling but only due to spending a lot monthly overpaying our debts to try and clear them. We spent the last week babysitting his niece and nephew (18 months & 2yo) and last night we both just cried together at how lovely it was and how frustrated we are to still be waiting for a family of our own, we have massively reduced our debts but it's taken time and there is still such a way to go.. he ended up saying there's never a right time, and we will find a way to make it work and make ends meet like we always do and to just try?

AIBU to consider it?

I said I need to think about it because for years we've said to wait until the debts are at 0.. I know we should.. but it's hard.

Sorry it's so long. Lot of feelings. Did anyone find a way to make it work without suffering? If there's a way to make it work even if money is tight that's one thing, but I won't bring a baby into this world if it'll be at a disadvantage due to my financial situation. Not sure what I'm looking for, either a push to do it or someone to talk sense into me..

If you have £50k income and so little outgoings can you not be debt free in a couple of years, possibly even a year if you want to be? I would sit down and work out what you actually spend and what you can cut back on.

How old are you?

Only £100 living costs each month for rent and bills? Blimey, I don’t really see the problem- you should be able to pay off those debts really fast. Start recording everything you buy, you must be heamorraghing cash somewhere!

I would pay off those debts which won’t take long before embarking on kids. You need to get your spending under control because once you’re factoring in childcare costs, you’ll have a tougher job budgeting

You could be debt free in a year if you tried. I don’t warn much more than you, have far greater out-goings, and save about £10k a year.

You will need some savings to see you through maternity leave, not much, but it’s nice to have something rather than nothing. Also plan for childcare/wage reduction afterwards. Babies aren’t expensive, but childcare is.

If you earn £50k and only have £100 living costs, maybe £200 for food, £200 for travel... you could pay £11,000 in less a year if you just went for it.

So hypothetically, let's say you both earn 24K. That means take home c. 1600 a month each. If your living costs are £100, and lets say transport, food, on top of that £400, that means that you should theoretically have £2700 a month to pay off your debts per month. That means you should be able to pay it off in 5 months. Plus, if you live that lifestyle, you should be able to continue to save until the baby arrives, building up a healthy safety net. Also, remember, most places don't have full salary maternity pay, so it isn't like you could contribute towards your debts whilst you are off work.

If it is only a matter of 5 months, I don't see why you couldn't wait to pay off your loans and get a healthy safety net before the baby comes.

Get your debts down! If you want a baby that much you’ll need to discipline yourselves. Even at £700 outgoings a month you should be able to put away 1k

How old are you OP? DP and I did the whole it's not a sensible time yet etc., focussed on careers and stuff. But- there is no perfect time and as I was in late 30's we went for it. I showed DP a graph of female fertility which basically flatlined after 35! That was enough to persuade us even though we weren't in the perfect situation work and finance wise.

I think that £100 living costs must be a typo surely? Is it £1000?

As others have said just be REALLY frugal for a year and you will be able to pay that off

It shouldn't take you more than 6 months to pay off 11k if you've got such low outgoings. Just pay it off and get on with your life, otherwise it will drag you down for the rest of your lives.

You could fix that really quickly if your outgoings are really £100. I'm not quite sure how you are struggling pay day to pay day unless you are seriously frivolous in your day to day life.

Me and DH earn £36k a year (I work part time). We have similar debts to you and significantly higher outgoings. We are currently expecting DC2. It's not ideal but we can still afford to live and pay off over minimum payments a month even when I'll be on Mat leave. Ideally we'd love to be debt free and have savings but we weren't willing to put our family on hold for 5+ years to do that. Financially I'd love to have more, but we don't want for anything. Sure we'd love a holiday(we do go camping for a week every summer somewhere local) , to eat out more, etc, but we are happy with our lot.

Assess your finances fully OP. It's more doable than you think.

Assuming the £100 wasn't a typo, then you really need to work on your adulting before even thinking about bringing a child into the world.

There's something seriously afoot at the Circle K somewhere about your lifestyles if you're struggling for money when you have such ridiculously low outgoings.

Even if it was a typo, 1k a month is low for rent and all bills. They should be able to pay down those debts quickly. The fact they want a baby should be motivating surely?

While I agree with the feeling that there’s never a ‘perfect’ time to have a baby, I definitely think that when you’re saddled with Debt, and (more importantly) are not being disciplined about it, is not the right time. Once the baby arrives it will definitely be harder because you’re factoring in lower earning while on ML and then childcare. So if the OP is struggling to get through each month now, it will be worse then.

It’s all very well romanticising it and saying ‘babies cost nothing’ but I think it would feel pretty grim to be struggling along each month, paying shed loads on childcare and not having any money for days out, treats etc

I agree. You can totally get rid of that debt before you have a baby.

Is 100 a typo?

Really whitney ?
Agree with pp. Get the debt down fast, you should be easily able to with the figures you posted.

Sorry but this post is ridiculous. I get that some people are bad with money but earning 50k and only £100 a month on rent, where the hell does all your money go? You need to keep every receipt and table them all in a spreadsheet to work out your outgoings and find out where all your money is going. Most common thing is food. DP used to buy lunch every day for £4ish but that's £80 a month gone on something you don't even realise.
Our household income is £30k, we have £600 a month rent, a car that keeps breaking down and I'm a SAHM mum to 7mo DD. We make it work. We can't afford holidays but DPs very lovely parents take us away anyway. Aside from that we're fine. Weekly shop in Lidl £45, child benefit is £80 a month so that buys all DD's clothes, nappies, etc. I BF so that's free. She eats a bit of what we eat for most meals. Don't eat too much meat.

It's very doable to have a baby on not much money. Once you have the essentials out of the way - cot, car seat, pram - you're completely fine. All can be bought second hand as long as safety is checked. To be honest I wouldnt actually bother buying a pram next time and just get a sling as DD spends her life in that! But every baby is different.

Like others have said, budget, get rid of your debt in a year then have a baby. You don't want to have it hanging over you when you're on maternity leave.

Personally, although babies are cheap, I found pregnancy and birth expensive.

I was exhausted, mainlining takeaways, too tired to walk anywhere and signed off work early. It was an expensive time.

I wouldn’t want to do that with money worries tbh.

You live paycheck to paycheck on £50k a year with £100 a month on rent/bills.

That is hilarious!

Never mind £100 being a typo , 50k not being a huge amount should be a typo.
These posts irritate me, as a couple you earn a significant amount. Your debts can be paid of in nine months.
Grow up, and maybe watch an episode or two of “ how the other half live”.

Even if £100 is a typo and it's actually £1000, it would still leave you plenty to live on.

I thought this thread would be about someone who was actually completely skint wondering how they could afford a baby.

Op...do you think everyone with a baby earns over £50k a year?!

“It's very doable to have a baby on not much money. Once you have the essentials out of the way - cot, car seat, pram - you're completely fine.”

Hahahaha

It’s not equipment that’s the expense (most of which you can buy second hand or do without.) it’s the fact you’re either paying out shedloads every month for childcare, or losing one income if one of you stops working.

I always think people who say babies don’t cost much must either be returning to work yet miraculously have no childcare costs whatsoever. Or one parent earns so little compared to the other, that the loss of their income is negligible.

For any couple who earn similar incomes and don’t have the luxury of magically free childcare, having a baby most definitely costs!

Sorry I made a typo - we have £11k debts left each not together. They weren't joint debts so we are both paying them off individually. £22.5 in total.

£100 living costs is correct - he gets £100 per month taken out his salary and in return we get a 2 bed flat at his work place (tourist industry in remote area so all senior management including him live on park. They offer attractive price of living as they already own the flat and they couldn't offer him the pay rise he wanted come here due to the park not performing well so compromised by giving him a flat as staff accom instead of a caravan

In regards to my £11k debts I earn £1300 a month, about £200 pm goes on fuel (driving to work) about £250 goes on food, £421 is monthly loan repayment then I pay £200 off credit card and £100 off PayPal credit. Only leaving me with just over £100 for anything else so I'm really not living lavishly. I did explain in the original post that only gets tight the last week of the month due to how much I'm paying off my debts. I have just under 2 years left on my loan (it had a terrible interest rate) but my credit card is still on £4500, PayPal credit is still on £1300 and I just can't bare the thought of waiting another two years.

It's ok I'm pretty much guessing the general consensus is what I expected, man up and wait it out. Patience is a virtue I guess! X

Wow some right fucking arseholes on here. How is me having £120 a month left after paying all my fucking debts hilarious? How is that 'how the other half live?'