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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not feel bad about "messing her hair up?"

68 replies

MerryShitmas · 26/03/2018 14:48

Basically; I used to be a hairdresser, I'm not anymore but retain my qualifications and experience and still have most appropriate equipment, so i do it in a pinch if a mate or family member needs help.
A friend, having a bad experience at the salon that left her with what looked almost like a bowl cut with fake hair badly attached (all her own hair) asked for my help, so I went over immediately to see what I could do. I said I could fix it, but there's no way I could've saved the length. It was bad, very bad despite layering as best I could to retain the length she ended up losing 2.5inches of her hair. I did tell her in advance that she could lose up to 4" but I would do my best. I did not charge her a thing even though the visit cost me time and money (including the hour each way drive - I
Consider her a good friend) a sidenote is I'm ill though not contagious and really could've done without it.
She's now unhappy with the length she lost, even though I measured it out for her and quadruple checked it would be ok. She's happy with how it looks but not happy to have lost "more than an inch". I've text back saying "look, I know it's upsetting as I have experienced this too, but try to understand that I genuinely did the best I could to keep as much length. Also I did ask you if it was okay, unfortunately when your hair is cut in such a way sometimes the options are limited" No reply as yet.

Aibu to be a bit annoyed that she's said this after I did a lot to help her, and not feel bad about "messing her hair up" because I did the best I could and she is happy with the style (looks a million times better) but is fucked off about the length which I can do nothing about...
Give it to me straight!

OP posts:
NeepNeepNeep · 26/03/2018 14:49

No good deed goes unpunished Wink

QueenofallIsee · 26/03/2018 14:50

Not your fault, she is a knobber #teamshitmas

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 26/03/2018 14:50

Well I guess that’s the last favour you do for her!!

Catspaws · 26/03/2018 14:50

She is BU! NOt your fault at all, you did a nice thing and she's just being a stroppy cow.

agedknees · 26/03/2018 14:51

Yanbu. I think she is a CF, and ungrateful.

TinaGurner · 26/03/2018 14:52

Next time just shave her. She’s being an unreasonable twat

Trinity66 · 26/03/2018 14:52

No good deed goes unpunished

Indeed

fuzzywuzzy · 26/03/2018 14:53

People never ever appreciate anything they get for free.

I’d never do her hair for her again.

HerRoyalNotness · 26/03/2018 14:53

If she keeps griping, tell her “hair actually grows you know”

Ungrateful sod. I’d be so happy that you were able to fix it for me and would be buying you wine or something as a thankyou!!

MyKingdomForBrie · 26/03/2018 14:55

She’s a total twat! Absolutely no more freebies for her.

Scentofwater · 26/03/2018 14:55

This is why I don’t cut friends hair any more!

MerryShitmas · 26/03/2018 15:02

Thank you, I've had a hell of a fortnight and I'm feeling a bit teary and wimpy tonight so I don't know which side is my arse and which my face! But thank you Smile

OP posts:
NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 26/03/2018 15:08

Is she complaining that you "messed it up" though, or is she complaining that because the original stylist messed it up, you've had to cut it shorter than she'd have liked?

If the latter, I'd actually reply "no good deed goes unpunished. It wasn't me who messed it up, I fixed it and took off less than you'd actually said was ok to cut. Lesson learned.

TempusEejit · 26/03/2018 15:09

Your "friend" is definitely on your arse side.

Lynnm63 · 26/03/2018 15:10

She’s a twat and not a good friend. I guess you’ve learnt not to help her out in future. If you’d sorted my hair out I’d have either insisted on paying for your time or if you refused cash bought you wine/chocolates/flowers to thank you for saving me.

Chocamocca179 · 26/03/2018 15:12

Did she say why she didn't go back to the salon to get someone else to try and rectify the fuck up?

Willow2017 · 26/03/2018 15:12

Of course she is being an ungrateful bitch. You are not a magician.

If someone drove an hour and fixed my hair they would be getting lunch and a bottle of something for being so kind!

Leave her to stew in her ungratefulness. Do not apologise again. Tell her you fixed the problem, hair looks great but you dont have a freaking magic wand.
Hope you feel better soon.

PinkHeart5914 · 26/03/2018 15:13

Is losing 2.5 inches really anything to write home about? It’s not ever that much.

She had a rubbish cut from a salon, you her friend went out of your way to help and made it look best you could, you even checked many times it was ok to cut it and instead of saying thank you etc she is moaning. God there really is no pleasing some people!

KittenBeast · 26/03/2018 15:13

Your friend's a clunge.

Lacucuracha · 26/03/2018 15:15

Please tell me that's the last favour you do for her!!

Unless she is usually a lovely, generous, helpful friend that is just as likely to do you a favour?

montenotte · 26/03/2018 15:15

ignore her.
or have it out with her.

don't apologise. she is an ungrateful CF.

ConciseandNice · 26/03/2018 15:16

LTB, the CF ass.

You did the best you could do with the crappy hair at your disposal. She should be thanking you not complaining.

WorldofTofuness · 26/03/2018 15:16

People never ever appreciate anything they get for free.

There's a phrase I came across years ago in a book by Thor Heyerdahl, where his ship crew offer a lift to a bunch of islanders who then proceed to mess them around re being ready on time etc: "We gave them something for nothing, and they valued it accordingly."

It's one that comes to mind regularly with this sort of thing.

honeyroar · 26/03/2018 15:17

She's being awful. She's obviously upset over her hair in general, but it's not your fault, she was hardly happy before you did your cut and you explained everything you needed to do first.

I'd be inclined to tell her that you're sorry that she's upset but that she's actually starting to upset you too. Point out that the other salon were the ones that really did the damage, that you just came over and gave her a consultation and cut to try and sort it out without a penny changing hands. Tell her she's actually being rude and ungrateful. And tell her it will grow out soon anyway!

You sound like a kind friend who tried very hard.

MereDintofPandiculation · 26/03/2018 15:19

Even if she didn't like it, it's rude and destructive to tell you. Firstly, you did it as a favour, and secondly, there's no good to be got from criticising (anyone, let alone a friend) for something that can't be changed.