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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not feel bad about "messing her hair up?"

68 replies

MerryShitmas · 26/03/2018 14:48

Basically; I used to be a hairdresser, I'm not anymore but retain my qualifications and experience and still have most appropriate equipment, so i do it in a pinch if a mate or family member needs help.
A friend, having a bad experience at the salon that left her with what looked almost like a bowl cut with fake hair badly attached (all her own hair) asked for my help, so I went over immediately to see what I could do. I said I could fix it, but there's no way I could've saved the length. It was bad, very bad despite layering as best I could to retain the length she ended up losing 2.5inches of her hair. I did tell her in advance that she could lose up to 4" but I would do my best. I did not charge her a thing even though the visit cost me time and money (including the hour each way drive - I
Consider her a good friend) a sidenote is I'm ill though not contagious and really could've done without it.
She's now unhappy with the length she lost, even though I measured it out for her and quadruple checked it would be ok. She's happy with how it looks but not happy to have lost "more than an inch". I've text back saying "look, I know it's upsetting as I have experienced this too, but try to understand that I genuinely did the best I could to keep as much length. Also I did ask you if it was okay, unfortunately when your hair is cut in such a way sometimes the options are limited" No reply as yet.

Aibu to be a bit annoyed that she's said this after I did a lot to help her, and not feel bad about "messing her hair up" because I did the best I could and she is happy with the style (looks a million times better) but is fucked off about the length which I can do nothing about...
Give it to me straight!

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 26/03/2018 15:21

Depends on how she's saying it. If she's just looking for generic sympathy on the lost length, then that's fine. But if she's insinuating that you could have saved some length and is complaining to you about that, then she's being unreasonable.

Did she say that YOU messed her hair up or just that her hair was messed up?

"OMG, I can't believe how messed up my hair is. It's so short!"
vs
"OMG, I can't believe how you messed up my hair. It didn't have to end up that short!"

GrannyGrissle · 26/03/2018 15:25

Be sure to slice a piece of her ear off next time, the cheeky twat. As PP said no good deed goes unpunished.

Ceebs85 · 26/03/2018 15:26

Did she actually say she was annoyed with you for cutting more than an inch or annoyed at the situation. You said she was happy with how it looks. Is there a chance youre being a bit over sensitive?

Hope its this, otherwise your friend is a twat faced CF!

expatinscotland · 26/03/2018 15:27

YANBU

cakecakecheese · 26/03/2018 15:29

'So sorry but I have hands not wands'

I've been there with a hideous haircut and I know how upsetting it is but you took the time, despite feeling unwell, to try to help her without getting paid and her response is to complain? Wow. Hopefully she'll realise she's being a brat and apologise.

Nikephorus · 26/03/2018 15:31

You need one simple text - 'No really, you're welcome'. And if you can add Hmm on as well then even better.

MerryShitmas · 26/03/2018 15:41

Her text was
"I'm shocked over how short you've left my hair, It's even more messed up now. Why couldn't you have only taken an inch off? I'd be happy then, the style is nice but it would be better longer....." she hasn't replied to the one I sent back, though.

But as I said in my op I did ask her several times and made sure it was crystal clear that I may have to take up to 4" off (but managed taking only 2.5). So I don't know why she's now essentially saying she'd rather have left it than lost more than an inch (and if that was her stance I'd have left well alone to begin with as I know it wouldn't look any better with only an inch off).

The more I think the more baffled I am...

OP posts:
GetoutofthatGarden · 26/03/2018 15:42

She's being really ungrateful. Tell her to never ask for your help again the next time she has a hair disaster. Don't be afraid to upset her, she's not caring about upsetting you is she?

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 26/03/2018 15:43

💐🍷🍷🍷, get these down you OP, and don't give the selfish, inconsiderate twonk, another thought.
If ever there's a next time, tell her to jog right on. 😡

FullMetalRabbit · 26/03/2018 15:44

I think your text was perfect and that she is not a friend but a CF

squoosh · 26/03/2018 15:44

She's an ungrateful arse.

Sneak in to her house when she's sleeping and put loads of chewing gum in the roots of her hair. That'll really give her something to moan about.

Unktious · 26/03/2018 15:45

Yanbu to be annoyed.

I think you were a bit daft to drive an hour each way to do her a favour when you were feeling sick though. Did she offer you petrol money or a lovely lunch or something?

MollyHopps · 26/03/2018 15:45

Tell her to buy a wig while it grows out if she is so unhappy with it, and to never, ever ask for your help for free again!

AcrossthePond55 · 26/03/2018 15:47

Based on your post of her text, she's being an ungrateful bitch.

I wouldn't engage with her anymore about the issue. And I certainly wouldn't offer any type of apology.

Unktious · 26/03/2018 15:47

Post. Wow her initial text was really obnoxious. I’d offer to cut her again.......and then I’d get my sweet, sweet revenge 👹

billybagpuss · 26/03/2018 15:54

Hopefully she'll regret it after the initial shock has worn off. If she comes back again with more negativity I'd ignore her.

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 26/03/2018 15:55

Wow. Based on her text I'd honestly be telling her to fuck off. Cheeky mare

MaggieFS · 26/03/2018 15:58

YANBU regardless of her text, but I was also going to ask if her unhappiness was at the situation or at you... now I've seen the text, wtf? That's so rude!

PyongyangKipperbang · 26/03/2018 15:58

"You had 2 options....fix the fuck up or keep the length. You wanted me to fix the fuck up, which I did with your understanding and agreement of what that would entail. To be honest I am hurt and disappointed that despite me going out of my way to help, and didnt charge you a penny, you are complaining. I was happy to help but I am not happy at being treated like this after doing you a favour and I wont be doing it again."

mummyhaschangedhername · 26/03/2018 15:59

What she said ☝️

Schmonday · 26/03/2018 16:03

Tell her the length will grow out but a shit haircut doesn't. Ungrateful cow grrr

WinnerWinnerChickenDinner0 · 26/03/2018 16:03

Did your friend post here a few days ago with photos? A blonde short at the front bob?

Gramgram · 26/03/2018 16:08

Next time send in a toddler armed with a pair of scissors.

Wine and Flowers for you. She is just ungrateful.

tiggytape · 26/03/2018 16:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dustarr73 · 26/03/2018 16:19

Why didnt she go back to the original salon.