To think oh should help cover more bills while I’m struggling?

[Sophiewofiex]

Just looking for some advice as this is our first time living together. when we first decided to move in together I was earning more and agreed to cover all the bills whilst he pays rent and now I’m on sick pay in total I have £583 a month including dd’s benefits.
He earns 2250 a month and he pays rent he doesn’t have many outgoings only rent and car insurance no finance or anything.
I’m struggling to pay for internet, council tax, gas and electric and the food shop on my income.
We’re going on holiday on Sunday and I have all these bills to pay before we go which will leave me with next to nothing.

Of course he fucking should. Have you made him aware of the fact you're struggling? How are you expecting to pay for things on holiday if you have so little money coming in?

You have a child together?

Or are you just flatmates?

Dd isn’t his we have one on the way due in September.
He knows how much I have in my banking he has 15k in his bank I literally have £330

Every couple handles money differently in a relationship so really you need to speak to him. It could seem mean that he's not supporting you but I guess it depends on how long you've been together; what stage your relationship is at; the conversations you had about what would happen if either of you had a reduced income. It depends if you view your relationship as a partnership or a flat share. I've had both experiences. In one, I wouldn't have expected my OH to cover my bills and I wouldn't have gone on a holiday I couldn't afford. With the other one, we'd have worked together to ensure the bills were paid.

I dont think your being unreasonable OP. Could you sit your partner down and have a discussion about it?

Have you spoken with him about it?

Cross-post with your answers. You need to sit down and have a talk about how you manage finances as a family.
I'm concerned that your very different bank balances might point to you both having very different attitudes to money. That disparity hasn't arisen since you've been sick so it seems like he prioritises saving more than you and that's always a very difficult balance.

Yes he should be helping cover the bills. I'm astonished that he isn't?

Have you sat down and discussed the issue properly? How are you going to work out finances come September when you both have a baby to pay for?

Yes I will speak to him I just thought he might of thought she’s struggling this month il help but obviously not. Also I didn’t book the holiday it was my birthday present.

Ideally you probably should have had a conversation about this sort of thing before you moved in together and definitely before you planned a child together.
I’d imagine having a conversation with him now is an idea and unless he has access to your bank account- which would seem unlikely given the way you are dealing with the finances- he may not have any idea how much you’re struggling.
I’d use this as an opportunity to discuss your finances and what would happen in adverse situations generally. He seems to have a fairly large cushion whereas you don’t seem to have made any provision for problems (fair enough lots of people don’t)

Have you told him you are struggling for money? And have you asked him for help? Sort your finances out before baby is born

This is a good chance to get all our finances in order before your baby arrives. All money goes into one joint account and everything is paid out of this. Surprised that it isn't in place already given you are about to have a child together but anyway now is the opportunity to sort yourselves out so you are financially secure, and it is fair.

You really need to sit down and say:

"We made the bill paying arrangement when I was the higher earner. I am now earning significantly less and we need to talk about changing it."

Well it would have been nice if he’d thought of it himself but obviously you need to point it out. It seems like you were covering more when you were earning more so now it’s his turn to step up.
You are a partnership. I think you need to get rid of the idea of his money and your money before you are struggling on maternity pay while he’s stacking up his earnings like Scrooge McDuck!

He hasn't got a crystal ball. It probably hasn't occurred to him that you're so short of money. You need to tell him and discuss where you go from here.

You don't need to put money into a joint account but you do need to come up with a plan that suits you both and ensures all joint bills are paid. I've been with DP for nearly 20 years. We've never had a joint account. We take responsibility for paying different bills based on the differences in our incomes. And if anything changes, we chat and re-adjust.

I think he should help as you're in it for the long term with a baby on the way but perhaps he's not fully aware and thinks you have savings too.
When you're back on your feet perhaps decide whether a joint account would be helpful where you can both put in your share (either equally or percentage of income).
I don't know if your rent is much higher than bills but I wouldn't divide it as you have if they're similar. Rent is fixed (easier to budget) but many of the other bills are variable so it's harder to know what they will be. They could fluctuate a lot so isn't ideal for someone on a lower income. It'd probably be better to split them all. He may not realise how expensive the grocery bill is.

This is a good time to sort out your finances by writing down all income and expenditure. Together you can work out a better solution than you have at the moment with the information.

You could look at one from moneysavingsexpert or just do one yourself.

www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

He knows I am struggling he knows how much I have in my bank. He keeps reminding me of bills that are coming up which is pissing me of. He did mention getting a joint account before baby arrives but probably better of sorting it now.

You are sick and pregnant. He is jointly responsible for feeding, clothing.etc etc etc you, the baby and the child that came as a package with you.

whose house? What happens if he loses his job or goes under a bus? Or dumps you?

You have huge joint responsibilities now, have an adult talk today.

There is a word for someone like that. A bad word.

This doesn't bode well.

that's shocking OP, you have a baby on the way too! I'd be very worried - how are things otherwise are you generally concerned about his attitude or do you get on well? Although I couldn't get on with someone who treated me like that.

So he was happy for you to pay more when you were earning more but now it’s him you have to struggle and he’s harassing you about bills? What an arsehole!

Do you have different attitudes to spending and saving?
My DSIS spends everything she earns and more. She could easily write a post about how she has no money left by mid-month and that her DH has much more. But, to be blunt, her DH has to ensure they have savings and money because she will never do that. Instead she would chip away at their savings until there was nothing left.
I'm not saying you're like that. I am saying you both need to look at not just your expenses but your attitudes to money and manage both in the best way.