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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To start to worry?

92 replies

SingleAgainThen · 25/03/2018 19:52

My “DH” & I agreed to split up a little over a week ago, it’s been a weird week with me sleeping on the couch & not much being said between us.

He has taken his older daughter (my DSD) & our little one - 5 yr old DD out for the day today.

They’re still not home, have no idea where they went or when they’ll be home.

It’s already way past little one’s bed time. Sitting here going from furious to worried with every passing second.

We had a big row re money last night & I stayed at a friend’s last night so haven’t seen him since.

My DD has school in the morning - where the fuck is he?!

OP posts:
Finola1step · 25/03/2018 20:10

Right, not excusing any dickish behaviour but....assuming that you are in the UK, could he have fucked up his timings due to the clocks going forward? I know it is vv unlikely. But I have had to double check the time quite a bit today and didn't even realise the clocks had changed until I read about it earlier today.

Original poster
SingleAgainThen · 25/03/2018 20:11

Thanks for the reassuring responses - they’re helping, others not so much.

The reason I posted here & not rung him or text anyone in RL is that I don’t want to cause drama, just needed a hand hold - thanks to those of you who have done that.

OP posts:
Jobjobjob · 25/03/2018 20:11

I think you're causing a bit of drama! Children don't go to bed by the clock, your DC won't be tired because in her world it's still 7 and she's 10 mins late! If based on this you're already talking about lack of trust this could be a long tiad for you!

MadMags · 25/03/2018 20:12

Yes, he mightn’t have noticed with the clocks goofing forward.

I’m confused - were they gone when you got back from your friends??

Wishiwasonholiday1 · 25/03/2018 20:13

I hope they're back soon or he messages you and gives you an update ASAP

ems137 · 25/03/2018 20:14

I don't think you're causing drama.

I think it's taking the piss that he's still out with a 5 year old at 8.15 who has school the next morning.

My 11&10 year olds are always back home before 7pm on a Sunday night after the weekend with their dad. When they were 5 it was 6pm.

Original poster
SingleAgainThen · 25/03/2018 20:15

Yes, we’re gone this morning at 10.30 when I came back from my friend’s & I haven’t seen or heard from them since.

Have text but no answer. I don’t really buy the clocks changing thing as he has an iPhone & an Apple Watch both of which will have adjusted the time accordingly & he’s not responded to my text.

OP posts:
epiphanytime · 25/03/2018 20:15

I would be so stressed!! But why are you on the couch and not him?

youngnomore · 25/03/2018 20:15

Hate it when people have absolutely no respect for time. Especially bed time for children. Hope they’re home safe soon op.

MyBrilliantDisguise · 25/03/2018 20:15

Those saying her daughter won't be tired - she'll have to get up at the time on the clock tomorrow, so she will be tired then.

Birdsgottafly · 25/03/2018 20:16

Sounds as though he is already making your life difficult/stressful. It's the shape of things to come.

You will have to find strategies of getting past it. Is it at crisis point yet ie will it effect her getting up for school? If not let it go, only let things get to you that are actually damaging.

There's nothing to worry about, it's him playing silly fuckers.

JustGettingStarted · 25/03/2018 20:17

She's not causing drama.

shesalady · 25/03/2018 20:17

It's 8.15! My ds that age is usually fast asleep by then! Of course op is causing drama ffs.

shesalady · 25/03/2018 20:17

ISNT!!!! Sorry lol!

MsHarry · 25/03/2018 20:18

Yes but she may be sleeping in the car. Crikey, we used to visit family in London (an hour away)most weekends and get home at 11pm and my mum would transfer us, already sleeping, into bed with a hot water bottle. Always at school on time. Happy childhood. it's not the end of the world to have the occasional late night.

MadMags · 25/03/2018 20:18

Oh right. Well sounds like he’s doing it on purpose then.

Prick!

I’d ring and if no answer; I’d text to say if you don’t hear from him you’ll be worried and calling the police!

iheartmichellemallon · 25/03/2018 20:18

Can you do find my iPhone?

I'd start keeping a diary of all the ways he's messing you around where the DC is concerned.

I'm sure he'll be home soon. Stay calm & don't act bothered as that sounds like what he wants.

shesalady · 25/03/2018 20:18

Oh come on. The first time he's taken her out after breaking up?

SmileyBird · 25/03/2018 20:19

Is he deliberately trying to worry you do you think?

Jobjobjob · 25/03/2018 20:19

It's 8.15! My ds that age is usually fast asleep by then! Of course op is causing drama ffs.

It's 7.15 in the child's world, of course they should be thinking about getting home but it's not a reason for drama ffs!

Original poster
SingleAgainThen · 25/03/2018 20:20

I think he’s either done it to mess with me or something’s happened?

OP posts:
Original poster
SingleAgainThen · 25/03/2018 20:21

I’m going to give it till half past & then ring. I didn’t want to ring incase he was driving.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 25/03/2018 20:21

It's a horrible feeling isn't it Thanks

Birdsgottafly · 25/03/2018 20:21

Nothing has happened. He getting one back because you stayed out, it's a punishment.

I've seen it time and time again. Don't respond, it'll piss him off.

Whydomypubeslooklikeanest · 25/03/2018 20:21

Did they definitely stay in the house last night?

Could he have went and stayed at a family members house with the kids.

Is there missing uniform or anything?