To want the pain relief

[kittycat84]

I'm 7 due till due date!! And it's only just starting to sink in that I've going to go through labour! 😱!

I want a epidural from the start!! I'm so scared and it's starting to stress me out! Everyone keeps giving me there stories and opinions and the underline feeling I'm getting is go natural! No pain relief just "gas and air for me" 🙄!
All this pressure from people ! Some I hardy know.

Back story of I lost my first at 18 weeks, felt all of that! I'm so scared, it's prob not even about the pain just the what if something goes wrong,
Aibu to want a epidural from the start! I want to be relaxed as possible, just seems so much pressure to not have any pain relief,
Stressed 😖

You're the expert in your own birth! If you want an epidural, have one - you being calm and happy is the most important thing. There are no prizes for refusing pain relief and it doesn't make for a happier baby!

It is absolutely none of anyone else's business.

I had one and it was bliss. No pain at all. You don't win any prizes for not having pain relief.

You likely won't be given an epidural until 4cm so bare that in mind but otherwise have whatever pain relief you want!

It's no one else's business at all. You don't get a medal for going through birth with only gas and air or nothing (though I've a friend who had nothing and is always a bit smug about it - I ended up with a full spinal and felt nothing so I just quietly eye roll when she mentions it).

Do whatever will make you relaxed, that way you're more likely to have a better birth experience. Best of luck, hope you have a healthy delivery

I don't think you can get it right from the start, but by all means get it as soon as you can. And don't let anyone fob you off, be sure you ask for it. What's the point in being a martyr? Plus gas and air isn't exactly a natural birth, is it?

Thanks for replying, I'm seeing my midwife this week to talk about a birth plan, as much as one can be planned,

I want to say from the start! Epidural for me!! I know she will try and say, we can see how it goes you might change your mind, go in the water, have codine, but I just know I'm going to be so worried for the rest of my time, and then what if it's to late? Or there isn't enough staff on shift or the dr is in surgery.

Seriously, it's your birth, you do what the hell you like - or if it all goes tits up, as mine did,you do what the hell you have to and sod anyone else who thinks they have the right to proffer an opinion either before or after the fact. I had a epidural (that I didn't want, initially) and while it was crap in many many ways I didn't feel a thing once it was in, and when it accidentally wore off when I was delayed waiting for ultimate (unwanted but necessary) C-section, I screamed good and loud for them to turn it back on again!

If what is going to make you feel happy and in control while you labour is an epidural, you have an epidural. Don't let anyone try to bully or persuade you out of it, and don't feel guilty. There are no prizes for suffering xx

I get one as soon as they let me, plus I have whatever other drugs they will give me. I can't understand why anyone wouldn't!

Epidural doesn't work for some people just so you're aware. Absolutely your birth your choice maybe chat to mw about other options too like pethidine?

Try not to focus on labour too much, you've got no idea of how it will or won't go so it's pointless getting worked up about it in advance.
Tell your midwife you want pain relief writing into your birthplan but just see how it goes when it happens.

I meant get one as soon they let me, and in active labour, I'm starting my nct classes next week and I think there they will be all promoting natural xx

Oh and also, good luck with your birth and congratulations on your imminent baby! I'm sorry about your previous loss, I know this baby can't replace the one you lost but it will definitely bring you joy and I hope bring you some comfort

Go for it if you want it! But bare in mind three things... 1) epidurals are not always effective (I know this from bitter personal experience) and 2) gas and air is awesome and 3) they are not contraindicated so you can get both of you need it (ignore the midwife face and ask the consultant anesthetist)

As someone who had no pain relief whatsoever...

HAVE THE DRUGS

Seriously, don't listen to anyone else at all, but please be aware that an epidural is not always possible (timing, availability of anaesthetist). Have anything and everything that's going.

My lack of pain relief was partly due to timings, partly to do with ignorance on my part... and the fact that g&a made me vomit 🤢.

I got the same reward at the end as anyone else!

Do what you have to. There's no medal at end for suffering.

Do exactly what you want! And insist apon it. make sure it's an informed choice of course but I'm assuming you've have all the info.

Good luck you!

Personally I don't like the feeling of an epidural as to me it feels like I'm being held down and like I'm falling off the bed. I begged for everything going after my c-sections though. If you want an epidural you should have one.

You have to do what you want, I was the same, I wanted all I could be given from the start but I spoke to an amazing midwife who said "just do what's comfortable for you", it ended up that I had had and air plus another pain reliever but didn't make epidural.
I personally thing it's about how you feel at the time, please try not to worry to much about it as it could bring anxiety to your birth, I'd say take the advise my midwife gave to me

I'm with YesItsMeIDontCare

I had a waterbirth with just gas and air and I thought my head would explode with the pain of the contractions.

Drug free birth is totally fucking overrated.

Tbh the NCT class (if yours is anything like mine) very much do lean towards the natural end of the spectrum,and while they cover the pain relief options this is all covered couched in warnings of the "cascade of interventions" etc - it's good to have an overview of the risks of interventions, including epidural, but try to take it all as factually as possible and ignore the emotional mood music that going natural is some sort of exalted path or that not doing so is deliberately putting your baby at risk. The main point of NCT is the friendship group you make, everything else you could pretty much find out for yourself online, so go, nod along, get everyone on WhatsApp and don't let it get you down. For context, all 8 of my NCT mums group planned the beautiful natural waterbirth with no pain relief or "just gas and air" - only one of us actually got it! So bear that in mind if there's a lot of pressure-y waffling about "the norm" xx

If you want pain relief then you have pain relief and two fingers to anyone and their opinions. There is no medal for doing without. Why put yourself through pain if you don't have to?!

I’m with yesitsme too.

I had nothing with my first. When I arrived at hospital I was already 6cm and 22 hours later still no baby. He was back to back too and I can honestly say it was the worst decision ever to not have any pain relief!

Had an epidural with the second as soon as it was confirmed he was back to back. Can’t even begin to explain how much better it was!

Just do what feels right for you! I did hypnobirthing, which helped me to keep cal and feel relaxed (I am very anxious). I had an epidural and an emergency c section. It was all pretty lovely actually! I would describe my birth as a positive birth, even though it was pretty medical in the end. I have very good memories of it.

What matters most about your birth experience (apart from healthy mum and baby of course), is that you feel supported and respected. Natural is such an irritating term!

Thanks every one making me feel better