To want the pain relief

[kittycat84]

I'm 7 due till due date!! And it's only just starting to sink in that I've going to go through labour! 😱!

I want a epidural from the start!! I'm so scared and it's starting to stress me out! Everyone keeps giving me there stories and opinions and the underline feeling I'm getting is go natural! No pain relief just "gas and air for me" 🙄!
All this pressure from people ! Some I hardy know.

Back story of I lost my first at 18 weeks, felt all of that! I'm so scared, it's prob not even about the pain just the what if something goes wrong,
Aibu to want a epidural from the start! I want to be relaxed as possible, just seems so much pressure to not have any pain relief,
Stressed 😖

If you want an epidural, have the epidural. Or at least ask for it. I had one with my first - brilliant thing. I was refused one with my second and I still HATE the midwife. Gas and air is rubbish - you are pushing out a baby FFS. It's like when you phone up the labour ward and they ask you if you have taken any paracetamol???!!!

Be forceful if you want an epidural and make sure you are at the labour ward when you are four centimetres. There is no valid reason why you should struggle with no adequate pain relief.

Plump for a mobile epidural. You can still move your legs but the pain is reduced to barely anything. I had a mobile epidural with my first baby and nothing with my second. Second was ridiculously quick. It wasn't a pain I couldn't handle- a tooth abscess is way worse. But, when the Labour goes on the pain tires you. Have the epidural. There are no medals either way. I'm sorry for the loss of your son. I miscarried at 13 weeks and I found the pain of labour bought back what I went through when I miscarried. Be prepared for that - definately talk to your midwife.

Despite my panic 2 weeks before giving birth I actually found labour ok. If you start naturally just see how you feel. The contractions start off as mild period pains. If they are painful or you end up being induced (which seems to make contractions more painful it seems) then opt for an epidural. It will always be an option for you at any point except when it’s all nearly over. Xxxx

Absolutely put it in your birth plan but as a more general approach I would say keep calm about it, it is totally your choice and no-one else's oh-so-worthy intentions should be allowed to stress you out. Your body: do what you want and try to enjoy it (ha! it is possible).
Fwiw, I didn't have fixed ideas with DC1's birth - just thought I'd go with what I wanted when offered. The contractions weren't that painful but I was so tired after 16 or so hours that I was strongly encouraged to accept an epidural (and another, several hours later). No regrets. I do have a great memory from DC2's birth of the actual feeling of her coming out, but again the contractions weren't too bad and the labour was shorter with just 3 pushes. (Will wait and see in about 3 weeks what DC3's story is...)
My point is: everyone's different - women and babies - go your own way and good luck.

I had gas and air and paracetamol, not because I didn't want anything stronger, but I didn't know what to ask for and that's what I was given (was very uniformed, my fault). Birth was awful, I have never known pain like it. She was back to back and got stuck so I ended up having a ventouse delivery. If I ever did it again I would ask for pethidine at the very least. I see no superiority in a drug free birth.

Do what feels best for you, doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If you want every drug under the sun, you go for it. All that matters is getting your baby out, the way in which that happens is absolutely no one elses business.

Have you spoken to your midwife about how scared you are?

Sorry- I said 'son' I meant lo.

I went into my induction with an open mind about pain relief options and ended up working my way through all the drugs on offer. I have absolutely no regrets about that, my baby arrived safely and that’s all I care about. It’s your body and your labour so you should make whatever decision is right for you.

I thought I would have pain relief but really didn't need it except gas and air. It was a lot less painful than I thought it would be. I felt it was more like period pains. I was more worried about having a c section. Just wait and see how it feels on the day. I think if you need to be induced then it is painful.

Ask for whatever pain relief you want!

There is always an anaesthetist on call for delivery suite. If they’re in theatre then there will be another one on call for general theatre or ICU or failing that, a consultant on call from home who can come in.

You can have an epidural as soon as you’re in active labour, which most people define as 3cm or more dilated. However you can have one sooner if they are planning intervention (rupturing your membranes or starting an oxytocin infusion to get things going) - this sort of thing will ramp up contractions and pain, feel free to ask for an epidural before they do anything.

There are a very small subset of women who can’t have an epidural for labour (mostly with either back abnormalities, or previous back surgery, or with valvular heart disease) so you’re very unlikely to be one of them. It’s put in entirely by feel - 1:10 doesn’t work (or not brilliantly) usually due to the feel being right but the tip not being in the correct place. They can be resited and adjusted.

I wouldn’t have pethidine - it’s a terrible drug - but historically it’s what midwives were allowed to prescribe so its use has persisted.

Not all units offer a mobile epidural.

Good luck :)

All of my labours have been very different- for the first I was only allowed diamorphine and it was awful (stitches were done with no pain relief at all- all 29 of them!). Second was happily off my face on gas and air. Third was an unplanned sort-of home birth and the midwife broke the G&A thingy, so there was a certain amount of not very quiet panic going on. Fourth the G&A wasn't nearly enough so I had an epidural and the fifth was another off my face with G&A birth.
There is sometimes a bit of competitive suffering around birth and you seem to get extra Smug Points for proper agony. It's all bollocks. Have what you want and if you feel the need to, you can lie about it afterwards.

Do what you need to do! There is no shame in having pain relief! I went into my Labour with an open mind, I wanted to try not to have too much of poss but I ended up with g&a, diamorphine and a spinal in case of an emergency c-section in the end! Diamorphine sent me a bit drunk though so I sort of wish I’d just had an epidural so I could be more present at the time of DS’s birth. The most important thing is to stay in control, so if pain relief is what you need, do it! I still felt like a total warrior after giving birth despite all the “help” 😆

You should be fine, try not to worry .

I felt exactly the same. I asked for an epidural the moment I was dialated enough and used gas and air whilst waiting for the anaesthetist to arrive. The midwife commented that I was doing quite well on that and asked if I was sure I didn't want to hold off and see how things went, I said I was 100% sure and that was that - I got the epidural, no questions or arguments. And it was brilliant - I definitely recommend it!

As for NCT - my course leader didn't have any agenda, but we did discuss all the options and our own personal stances. Of the 8 in our group, I was the only one who put myself in the "give me all the pain relief you've got" category. But several of the other mums ended up with epidurals too and highly recommended them (I was the last to give birth) and one wanted one but didn't get it because she left it too late to ask! So even if you find yourself in a minority at first, you probably won't be by the time the babies have arrived

First time I got to 6cm odd with constant contractions and asked for epidural. All the doctors were busy in theatre etc so when he finally put it in I had been waiting an hour. It also only worked down one side.
In my 2nd labour I was adamant I wanted it as soon as. I was 6cm when i got to labour suite again and was delighted to find the doctor all ready to go. Unfortunately he tried 3 separate times to sight it... he was just about to try time 4 when my waters went and I needed to push...ds came out 2 pushes later.

So def ask for what you want but don't get too hung up on it

Like people say, you get no medals! Also, any other time you go through so much pain it would be inconceivable to do so without pain relief!

However, i had diamorphine with my first and gas and air.. combined i was very sick and think just "out of it" for my very long labour! I had to be cut in the end and was ridiculously tired! However i thought it was all fine and just how my Labours would be.

Second baby (less than 2 years later), i had a water birth and all the hypnobirthing and breathing I'd ignored the first time actually really helped. I didn't even need gas and air at all until the transition stage, when i then thought "oh i best get out of the pool and get proper pain relief now!". By then it was too late but the gas and air really did help! It was bloody painful when he was crowning (i genuinely thought i was going to rip in two) but that was short lived and overall i found my second labour a lot easier as i just let my body take over.

I think if you go in with an open mind then you can see how you cope, make it noted that you would like an epidural then if you are coping fine you can always change your mind. But i think if you want one as soon as you can that's entirely up to you!

Congratulations and good luck!

Ffs stop asking peolle. I had gas and air as more scared of spinal needle than birth but first was straightforward. Second was horrific and I wish I had epi when I had chance. If I ever have third im having ALL the drugs. Fuck other people. You could always lie and say yes didnt even have gas and air I used aromatherapy and white noise and a small Buddha recited healing words.... Chill out all that matters is meeting your little baby. Hang on to tpur pants you will have 18 years of 'when I had my little narnia I lost the baby weight the next day' and 'my tulula was speaking 2 languages by 6 months'.

Eatalot 😂😂😂

OP, take Eatalot's advice. Especially lie when anyone asks how little one is sleeping, every other fucker does!

Its a mobile epidural you want if your hospital does them. No pain whatsoever but you are still aware of contractions, can still have an active birth, and best of all no need for a catheter :) And if your midwife says says no (like mine did) grab a doctor and ask again. The docs (ime) are usually a lot happier to oblige. Good luck!

YANBU

I’ve had 2 natural births with gas and air only, not out of choice but better pain relief wasn’t available or appropriate in either labour. I didn’t get any medal for not having pain relief. I don’t get the obsession with au naturale and no pain relief. If you are in hospital for ANY other reason that involved pain you’d be offered everything!

Take the drugs!!

I've got 3 children, all natural births. Had gas & air and pethidine with my first (over 14 years agonso not sure if they still offer pethidine) pethidine was awful. Made me throw up and just felt drunk, didn't help with the pain. Second was just gas & air and my third was gas & air and a failed epidural. It didn't work at all and now nearly 7 years on I'm suffering horrendous migraines all the time that I personally think is down to the epidural. If you can handle the pain,try not to have it, but if you really want it then go for it. See how your labour goes. Could be a nice quick, easy one. Good luck x

When they hand you your baby there is no one giving out medals. Do what you need to in order to give your baby the best version of you. Congratulations

Anyone who makes you feel inferior for having pain relief is an utter twit.

Discuss your options with the mw and have whatever you want. Be aware that birth is unpredictable- keep your options open as much as you can.

The birth is just a process to get your baby to you - you do it as safely and as painlessly as you can. There will always be some idiot going on about how c sections aren’t really giving birth or with a sense of superiority for ‘unmediacated’ birth - but once you have a baby you’ll realise that there’s a type of parent who does that for everything (feeding choices, slings, blah blah.) you just tune them out after a while ;)

Good luck with it - take the NCT spiel with a healthy pinch of salt

YANBU.

Gas and air makes me feel horrendous. I would say though be prepared for not getting it, I was desperate for an epidural and my labours have always advanced too fast for one - one of those was bloody induced, they left it too late despite me asking every 5 minutes. So my message is, pain relief is the best - diamorphine is nice although made me talk nonsense.

Make your birthing partner is on the same page and makes sure if you want one that you get one. Good luck! I hope it all goes well.

For me, gas and air was really really effective. I had to cut back as I was getting so out of it. Everyone is different so just keep all your options open and see what happens on the day.

Ignore or tell to fuck off anyone who is pressuring you.

No one gets a sticker for being brave

Labour is bloody painful, you wouldn't power through with a broken leg because your friend did, bollocks to that!

I'd say see how well you manage when labour starts and build up the level of pain relief to where you feel "comfortable", so try other options before epidural to see if any are good for you.

You can ask for epidural anytime as long as you're in established labour and not too close to delivery, it's worth mentioning to your midwife you'd like one but it's impossible to "book one" in advance because the anaesthetist may have unexpected emergencies at the time.

Hope all goes well 💐