To want the pain relief

[kittycat84]

I'm 7 due till due date!! And it's only just starting to sink in that I've going to go through labour! 😱!

I want a epidural from the start!! I'm so scared and it's starting to stress me out! Everyone keeps giving me there stories and opinions and the underline feeling I'm getting is go natural! No pain relief just "gas and air for me" 🙄!
All this pressure from people ! Some I hardy know.

Back story of I lost my first at 18 weeks, felt all of that! I'm so scared, it's prob not even about the pain just the what if something goes wrong,
Aibu to want a epidural from the start! I want to be relaxed as possible, just seems so much pressure to not have any pain relief,
Stressed 😖

I had the epidural with DC1, best decision ever. When I arrived they tried to take me to the birth centre but I made it very clear I wanted an epidural so off to the labour ward we went instead. Tbf the midwives didn't try to put me off having one, they made sure I understood the pros and cons and then respected my decision.

For DC2 I had a c section, which was utterly fabulous.

I was the other way round- swore I’d have no pain relief besides gas&air. Midwife gave a pat on my hand and said ok, let me know how you get on with that 😂😂

I had epidurals. Both times. Thank god. Second time I was so high on gas&air I was flirting (as much as you can in such an undignified position) with the dr whilst legs over the bed, face nearly touching my knees 😂 whilst hours from giving birth 😂 even rhymed his name with dr hot ah but he was lovely lol

If you want pain relief, have it. You don't her men bragging about all geyting root canals done only on paracetamol and hypnodentistry. If you need it and it's available, have it.

Having said that, keep in mind that gas and air IS pain relief. I found it to be really really awesome.

Do what you feel is best for you. Everyone is different. I've had two children and think I forgot how painful labour can be and only had gas and air the 2nd time. If I was to do it again I'd definitely go for an epidural.

Go for the epidural if that's what you want! That's what I'm planning!

If someone breaks their leg they don't do it 'naturally' (aka without pain relief!) They take all the meds they can! And that's my approach to labour!

My labour with pain relief (Diamorphine) was probably the easiest in some ways. It was very long though 15 hours versus 80 minutes for the other 2

My other 2 labours were G&A and TENS machine. One was a back to back labour. Hideous.

If you want an epidural you must insist and your birthing partner must advocate for you. I was lucky in that I gave birth twice in a European country where they think that giving a placebo to woman in labour (ie gas and air) is barbaric and woman are given epidural on demand.

I had an epidural administered at 7cm dilated which I've heard women in the UK are told is 'too late'. It isn't, it's just NHS rationing. So insist. And keep insisting.

They would not allow a man to have a prostate operation with no pain relief so insist on your basic right to pain relief.

OP, go for the epidural. I had 3 natural extremely painful labours, then I insisted on an epidural for my 4th and it was bliss. DH fell asleep in the chair and I read my book.
People say you get back pain etc, I had none of that BUT I had to really make a fuss to get the epidural. And I only relaxed once I saw them wheel the trolley in with all the equipment. Never been so glad to see a needle before. Go for it, and all the best!

I was just like you OP, wanting an epidural from the start :)
However midwife said "try the gas and air first" so I did to keep her quiet and, wow it was amazing stuff! Never had the epidural as the gas was hit so amazing :)
Good luck OP

Have all the drugs. You wouldn’t get a broken arm reset without all the drugs or have a tooth extracted without being numbed up. No dentist is going to say ooh let’s start with a paracetamol and see how you get on.

It’s bloody ridiculous that women are made to feel guilty or shame for not wanting pain.

Do what you want, and Make sure your birth partner knows what you want and is ready to stand up for you too.

it is no-one elses business what pain relief you have... and you shouldn't feel guilt-tripped into going through it all without any just because they did!!

I had G&A and pethidine....sil managed with just paracetamol...Other sil had c-section. Guess what....we all got babies at the end of it. The prize is the baby, they dont give you a certificate and medal for having the least amount of pain relief.

I had one with ds1 hadnever ever contemplated not having one and it was glorious. I wouldn't undergo dental treatment or other treatment without anaesthetic why the hell should labour be different. To be fair I laboured quickly and was 8cms before had it and didn't think it was that bad I did then need forceps and an episiotomy and always wondered if that would have happened were it not for the epidural

when had ds2 I thought I'd have a water birth that ended in a c section ......best laid plans and all that

Go for the epidural if you want. You know what you can cope with and what will stress you out.

I am not a huge fan of needles so my birth plan was all "want a water birth etc etc will consider epidural if absolutely necessary". Within about 10 minutes of arriving on the assessment unit I was bent double screaming for an epidural! Had a bit of a wait before it could happen so I got gas and air (did nothing) and pethidine (amazing but made me walk a bit drunk).

On the downside, labour was quite long, I did need an episiotomy, I couldn't feel my legs or move by the end (had to be moved on the bed by midwife) but I would do it again in a heartbeat. I have a low pain threshold and it turns out that all the water birthing and hypno birthing in the world wasn't going to overcome that.

I understand there are some risks with epidural. Am not saying don't have one but read up on it first so you are at least making an informed decision about pain relief

Thank you! Feel much more confident going into my midwife appt now, my husband is fully on board with having the epidural, he's so amazing so I think he will speak up for me 💐

Have the drugs.

There are no heroes. I didn't want an epidural because I'd read about the increased risk of instrumental delivery, blah blah blah. My son was huge, and stuck so ended up in theatre anyway. And after about 48hrs of labour, I got my epidural. It was bliss. I wish I hadn't held out so long. Completely pointless.

I repeat, have the drugs. (Gas and air was fun too....)

And NCT can mostly bugger off apart from being a great place to meet other mums. They have an agenda, if you don't like it, ignore it and do your own thing.

I had G&A with both, Pethidine with DC1 (didn't like it and put on Birth Plan that I refused for DC2 ) . Had a muscle relaxant for DC2 (uterine contractions) .

I couldn't have Epidural anyway because of my back.
You have to allow for the fact the Anaethetist might not be available.
It can slow labour.
One Mum on the ward said it only worked on one side.

And they may let it wear off so you go from 0-60 full on labour .

If I had one they'd have have to forcepts out my DC1 (little toad lay side -on)

Do your Birth Plan but prepare o be flexible , Good Luck .

It's up to you how you want to manage your delivery (within reason obviously). I lost my first at 21 weeks and used pethidine for that (it was induced so horrendous pain). That experience had the opposite effect on me - I absolutely did not want to use pain relief for my subsequent deliveries.

People respond differently to a late loss. A friend of mine insisted on a section for her next. I went natural, you want an epidural. We all deal with it differently and our wishes should be respected. Ignore everyone else and go with what feels right for you.

I had nothing. Not through choice.
It was fucking horrendous.
Next time I want an epidural immediately.
Take the drugs!

Entirely your decision. I had a three day labour at two and half weeks overdue with the first. Going into it all I was very scared and kept saying I'd demand an epidural the minute I was through the door. In the even, I had to wait quite a while as the labour ward was full and shut to newcomers so they wouldn't move me down from the induction ward. So I would say that it's perfectly fine to know what you want, but there's a lot about labour that is a)unexpected b) out of your control anyway! Having said that, it was a game of two halves - after my epidural I felt so much calmer and in control and had a much better experience. But it also meant that my contractions slowed right down and I had to have a ventouse delivery with an episiotomy which meant a much longer recovery period afterwards, so that's another factor. Only you can decide what you want and it's not 'wrong' to want an epidural. You wouldn't have a limb amputated without anaesthetic when it's available, would you? Another word of advice though, if you do decide that's what you want you have to be quite firm about demanding it. I was half expecting just to be offered things when I was in labour but you definitely have to insist on them. You may surprise yourself though. Go into it with an open mind- you might not need one at all! X

I had G&A, pethidine and an epidural. Epidural was the best as it actually stopped the pain.

If you want an epidural put it in your birth plan and make sure your birth partner knows as well.

Good to be prepared. Get the drugs on your birth plan. Epidurals don't always work. I had one with my first & it did nothing. Was like a sick joke. If death was an option id of taken it I was in so much pain. I still stand by that 19 years on, & I suffer from chronic pain every day. It was the worst day of my life. Research all the drugs. Be prepared to take anything! Good luck!

After 4 hours on an induction drip I had a epidural and it was best decision in my life. I can honestly say I enjoyed my labour and birth due to this 😊

Thanks for asking this question OP.and to everyone for sharing your experiences.

I’m afraid I don’t have anything useful to add as I’m about a month away from my first birth myself but this thread has lots of useful and encouraging info for us expectant Mums.

Hope you have a wonderful birth OP, with as many drugs as is right for you!