Parent and child parking

[spiderbear]

It winds me up so much when people without children park in 'parent and child' parking. Is it just me that has a go?? I just can't help it. I find them so ignorant and selfish. Just had to say something to someone at Tesco- she was with her (I'm guessing 20yr old) daughter.. and wouldn't even look me in the face.. I'm heavily pregs and also with a 2 yr old. But her daughter piped up saying they'd just dropped her dad and sister off at the entrance - which was rubbish as we'd been behind them coming into the car park!!
Am I out of order having a go ?? Should I just let it be? Or should supermarkets do more to stop this themselves??

Genuine question - please could someone give me an example of someone with hidden disabilities who couldn't/ wouldn't use a disabled space

DS has ASD, hypermobility, and SPD. He may also have ADHD and Dyspraxia but couldn't be assessed for Dyspraxia as he wouldn't engage with the testing programme, he was far more interested in opening all the doors at the clinic and faffing about with the password locked computer.

He has no awareness of danger/risk, does not differentiate between pavement and road, is prone to impulsive behaviours, has a tendency to bolt when excited, stressed, or angry, he can behave in unexpected ways out of line with the expectations for his age group. He can go into sensory overload or a meltdown and need to leave somewhere quickly during which he may fight me over getting back into the car and getting his seatbelt fastened. He has severely limited proprioception (one of the eight senses) so cannot properly judge force of movement, he also has poor spatial awareness, and will fling open the car door at maximum force to its maximum width.

He benefits from a wide space near the door so I can get him in and out quickly, there's less chance of his hitting other cars, and there are less hazards for him to encounter between the car and the door.

I'm looking forward to when I have my baby. I'm a blue badge holder and I know in going to have people tutting when I unload baby in a blue badge bay

I love parking my white van in the parent and child spaces and watching people getting all irate, once they are suitably twitching i calmly open the back door and remove my two year old.
That said if i see someone park in the parent spaces i generally give them the benefit of the doubt, the ones that wind me up is the young 20 something men who park there suped up, massive exhaust, highly polished car there, then sprint into the shop!
I know they don't want to get their pride and joy scratched but what makes their car any more important than anyone else in the car park?

"Genuine question - please could someone give me an example of someone with hidden disabilities who couldn't/ wouldn't use a disabled space"

Adults with autism, severe learning difficulties and challenging behaviour are likely to not have a blue badge. The extent of their difficulties will not always be apparent in one glance so 'hidden' to some extent.

It annoys me when I see young, usually male, drivers in suped up cars using them - usually sitting there waiting for their mate to return with a six pack of lager. Yes, that does irritate me. But as others have said, there's nothing to stop them so I usually just give them a hard stare before moving on. To be fair, my local Tesco has enormous normal spaces so it's not a huge inconvenience to find another space. It's the multi-storeys that are the worst. I've clambered over the back seats before now to manoeuvre my kids out of their seats without denting vehicles. I've also had to remove them from the car and put them in their buggy before finishing off parking. In that situation, I probably would become frustrated and say something to someone who appeared to be parked hassle and child-free.

Not really, Whisper, as private parking tickets are unenforceable.

I really couldn't give a damn what anyone thinks of me for parking in one if the disabled spaces are full. I'm afraid me being able to get my wheelchair out so that I can purchase food trumps someone who can't figure out how to get their baby out of a car safely in a car park.

ds2 is perfectly abled bodiied but hes severly autistic with learning disabillities , the reason why an abled person with autism might use a P&C is because they are generally near the store and not everyone is high functioning ds2 can run like the wind straight under a moving car he has no danger awareness

It annoys me when I see young, usually male, drivers in suped up cars using them - usually sitting there waiting for their mate to return with a six pack of lager. Yes, that does irritate me. You'd have thought that with my husband, big healthy looking bloke in his 30s when he first became disabled. He was sitting there, having walked round the shop for a few minutes before returning to the car due to the pain. You'd see him sitting there, he even had a baby seat in the back so he couldn't be disabled could he? We met a few like you. I got really good at giving the hard stare back.

I said 'young' peaches and while 30s isn't old, your dh isn't the demographic I'm referring too. I think we all know the kind I mean, and they don't have baby car seats, usually have other young men in the car and are usually awaiting a mate coming back with alcohol, while listening to loud music and revving the engine. I'm not sure what part of my post made you think I had your dh in mind.

LittleLion, that would be my dd. She's 21. Sometimes she's playing loud music (she can be a touch unaware) and she'll be waiting for her boyfriend to run back to the car with his beer. He runs because she panics. She stays in the car because she's disabled. She does have a bb but sometimes forgets to display it if they're in a hurry.

LittleLion, because we have been subjected to that sort of judgement for 30 years and it gets a bit tired. At my age 30 is young.

We all know what kind you mean? Do we really? Gilead I feel for your DD, she has a lot of judgemental people to face in the coming years. She is lucky to have a considerate boyfriend.

Some people can’t face the idea that young people can be disabled too. Especlly not if they look “normal”

Gilead if she is sitting in the car and her boyfriend is running in, why do they need to park in a p&c space? It’ll only take her boyfriend a few more seconds to run from a standard space, surely?

Because she doesn't make the decision on whether or not to get out until the last second. Depends on a myriad of variables.

If she stays in the car while her bf runs into the shop, she's misusing her blue badge and needs to be careful as it could be taken away.

If I decide not to go into a shop right at the last minute, my husband huffs and parks somewhere else.

It is untrue that private parking tickets are "unenforceable". If they sue you, they may well win, if the penalty is considered reasonable by the court. It's not guaranteed but it's perfectly possible. See Parking Eye v Beavis.

However, one would HOPE that even a shark private parking company wouldn't pursue a ticket against someone with a disability or that a court wouldn't enforce it if they did.

It really maddens me because parent and child spaces are for parents and children.
My local Tesco has loads of disabled bays they are never full so there’s no need for blue badge holders.
I don’t know about hidden disabilities but from what I have seen it is almost always business looking type people wanting the convenience of being ‘in and out’ on their lunch break, and people with posh cars.
The thing is at my local supermarket the normal bays are tiny. It’s so difficult to wedge myself in between and get my wriggly ds out. All would take is a gud of wind and the door would crack into the neighbouring car.
A PP has suggested that you should park very close to one side of the lines to give more space on one side,but what if you have a toddler and a newborn?
As for the p and c spaces being near the back I don’t agree with this either.
The point of p and c bays is to get your dc in and out of the care safely as possible.
Small children are very vulnerable in car parks as they aren’t big enough to be seen by reversing drivers. My ds can run like the speed of light aswell. So for safety the only sensible place for p and c spaces, is the front of the car park.

Business looking people, obviously disabled people don't look like business people, you know smartly dressed and successful.

My ds can run like the speed of light aswell. So for safety the only sensible place for p and c spaces, is the front of the car park. Let's hope you never need to take him on an actual road.

Shit, didn't realise I shouldn't have looked like I owned two businesses when parking. I must either return my blue badge or dress like a scruff from now on so people know I'm properly disabled.

A gust of wind could catch your car in any space, whether you have a kid or not. I'll still be parking in them if the blue badge spaces are full, whether it maddens you or not.

P&C spaces are there to keep children as safe as possible by being near to the store and allowing extra space to get them in and out of the car because it's genuinely tricky with car seats (which our parents generation didn't actually have to those who keep saying 'how on earth did our parents cope?!').

I am 8 months pregnant and have a 3 year old. Bump is huge. It is impossible for me to get DD in and out of the car in a normal space now. Yes, I could park at the other end of the car park but DD is a darter and fast as a whippet. According to a lot of people on here that's tough and I should be quite happy to have the P&C spaces taken by perfectly able adults who can't be arsed to walk a bit further. I saw a child hit by a car about 10 years ago. Slow moving impact but still horrific. That is why P&C spaces are near the store.

I also think we all know full well that the CFs using P&C spaces do not all have hidden disabilities. And I also think most people don't begrudge a parent with an adult child with disabilities using those spaces. However, I'm still struggling to understand why all adults with hidden disabilities need to use the P&C spaces?

If I politely say "Excuse me, I'm not sure if you realise but you've parked in a P&C space" and someone replied "My teenage son has autism and ADHD and I need to use the space" I'd say "crack on". I think most people would. You'd have to be a twat not to. But you'd also be a twat to use a P&C space you genuinely don't need. And plenty of perfectly able adults do.

I agree Stepaway.

Only in MN land are able-bodied CF using P&C spaces defended, and parents with small DC mocked for objecting.

The only time someone has peed me off with a P&C parking was when a woman with no children took up 2 P&C spaces because she was goo lazy to park properly. One space I'd have just rolled my eyes but when she came out of the shop as we were getting out of the car I commented that her parking would win awards of being so terrible. I comment the same when I see people take up multiple spaces anywhere for no reason other than them being too lazy to park properly though.

anxious, just had a word and she's told me she does usually move if she doesn't go in.

"If I politely say "Excuse me, I'm not sure if you realise but you've parked in a P&C space" and someone replied "My teenage son has autism and ADHD and I need to use the space" I'd say "crack on"

Why should anyone give out personal information to the self appointed parking police. If my adult child needed the space I wouldn't need your approval.