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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fucking Lanyards

115 replies

MrsMaxwell · 23/03/2018 20:13

I work for the LA and we have to wear an ID badge on a lanyard AT ALL TIMES as now cannot access any rooms without it or do any printing. I don’t really have an issue with it although I do find it bloody annoying to wear.

8 years I have been there and every now and then I change the actual Lanyard just to jazz it up a bit.

New boss yesterday asks me “do you have a LA lanyard” I’m like “I’m not sure maybe” she’s like “well you should be wearing one as it makes you more identifyable” FFS other than the ID badge and my actual face HmmAngry

OP posts:
MothertotheLordsofmisrule · 23/03/2018 21:48

I have a Vault Tec one.

If the CQC rock up again to check us out again I'll use my NHS one.
But then I rarely go on the ward or patient facing anymore.

My bro wants one that says Company Drone or similar.

Sara107 · 23/03/2018 21:52

We have colour coded lanyards at work, one colour for employees, different ones for visitors, contractors, temps etc.
The lanyard has to be visible at all times and you need it to get onsite, into the buildings, into restricted areas inside, to print, to buy your lunch etc so it goes round my neck before I leave home, forgetting it is a major pain. Then I heard a parent sneering about another parent who always has his lanyard on show at school drop off. So now unsure of lanyard etiquette whilst doing the school run.....

Original poster
MrsMaxwell · 23/03/2018 22:01

I feel like a twat when I do the dash for tea around Tesco on my way home and realise I havevitvon and have been on a course and am also sporting a sticker.

OP posts:
Timefortea99 · 23/03/2018 22:08

I have never worn my lanyard. Even when they have a clamp down and insist on you wearing it. I have my ID on a clip on thing rather than a lanyard. I need it to get in and out of rooms, printing etc. I just carry it in my pocket or my bra. It’s a mini rebellion. I find a lanyard uncomfortable and it looks awful. Nobody has ever noticed I am not wearing it.

GrandTheftWalrus · 23/03/2018 22:09

One of my jobs is a boring black company lanyard. The other one I can wear what I like. Currently sporting a harry potter one for that.

I love collecting lanyards from the different jobs I work at. My dp though has about 5 times the amount I have.

Original poster
MrsMaxwell · 23/03/2018 22:13

I got one which relates to my DH job once (RN) and he was away for 4 months abdcwe has no contact and it was a bit sentimental I suppose but a colleague suggested it was too “political” Hmm

OP posts:
Chesterado · 23/03/2018 22:15

We were all issued with lanyards with quick release metal snapper bits for the badge bit in case it ever gets sucked into a machine and I get strangled. The metal snapper bits have ruined all of my clothes making them bobbly between my boobs.

I have subsequently abandoned the new lanyard for the old cord ones but am now on a health and safety hit list because I am an accident waiting to happen....

Bloody lanyards!!!

mercurymaze · 23/03/2018 22:16

Doesn't really bother me though I do find it weird that people would buy designer ones

EggysMom · 23/03/2018 22:17

I've worked for the same department in the same company for the last seven years. In that time, I've had four different lanyards because they keep re-branding our department!! Now they've realised that's a stupid expense, so have agreed on a black lanyard with just the company name.

Every time they change the lanyard design, I ask for the old ones. Our autistic son loves to swing and dangle toys (vestibular stim), so we attach toys to old lanyards for him. When he was younger we also used them to keep toys attached to his buggy.

Goldenhedgehogs · 23/03/2018 22:20

I work for a local authority, that a few years ago had a pretty shite Ofsted inspection for children's services. Last week we had Ofsted in again, and there was much staff briefing about how we should behave around inspectors, and we would all know inspectors as they would be wearing red lanyards. FFS like the inspectors don't know this, they are clever people. I thought it would be funny to order 10 red lanyards off Amazon and our team could wear them on the first day of inspection. Management had a quiet word with me so I never got to experience the power trip of impersonating an Ofsted inspector 😀Blush

BalloonDinosaur · 23/03/2018 22:25

I think we're supposed to wear them at work, but I bloody hate them so don't bother. Having a larger chest means it bounces when I walk and makes me look like a right knobhead.

I keep my badge in my shirt pocket (we wear uniform anyway so identifying us isn't an issue) so I can beep into the room with my boob Grin

Stillgameforalaugh · 23/03/2018 22:29

Ten yrs ago I could wear a standard lanyard round my waist like a belt. Two Confusedchildren later that ship has sailed

DrMadelineMaxwell · 23/03/2018 22:31

We (school) have to wear one. One colour with STAFF on for staff (obv), a different colour for supply teachers and another for other visitors.

I hate them. If I lean over the shoulder of a child to help them with what they are doing I have to catch it quickly before it clacks them on the back of their head. Another colleage wears hers behind her back, but I hate the feel of the lanyard around my throat at the front so won't do that.

I got a retractable clip for mine as we have to use them to beep in door access panels, helpfully at waist height - so you see plenty of teachers either bending down all the time or removing and replacing them repeatedly.

If I'm wearing trousers I clip it to the pocket or belt loop. If it's a dress and I have a jacket on with it, I clip it to the pocket. Sometimes I clip it on the neckline of the dress.

Mine is properly grubby after being worn for much of the academic year (and last) so I need to bung it in the wash.

Ssssurvey · 23/03/2018 22:34

RJnomore1

Mine (LA must wear) bobbles the middle of the front of all my clothes.

Useful tip, replace the 'hook on thing' with a round standard keyring. No more snagging.

Original poster
MrsMaxwell · 23/03/2018 22:39

My IOW one had a lovely plastic quick release.

Also when it’s round your neck and you have offered to do a tea round and you need to get back into the office and have to bend down to beep yourself back in that’s no joke Confused

OP posts:
pimlicolife · 23/03/2018 22:44

I work in central govt and get told the same. However I continue to keep mine in my pocket. If anyone challenges me as to why it's not around my neck I tell them someone tried to strangle me once and the lanyard feels psychologically uncomfortable around my neck for this reason. No one has challenged me twice.

Original poster
MrsMaxwell · 23/03/2018 22:46

pimlicolife

Grin
OP posts:
SeaToSki · 23/03/2018 22:47

I went on a very posh course and they had magnetic name badge thingies. Only problem was that I have a pacemaker and the magnet reset the pacemaker into testing and analysis mode. Gave me quite a shock (in the non electric sense of the word). I only wear traditional lanyards now.

IvorHughJarrs · 23/03/2018 22:48

I work for the NHS and for the first year or two I worked there had my badge and swipe card on a clip but kept getting asked where was my lanyard. I kept saying I hadn't been issued one yet and was promised one at least 3 million times by around 2 million people (not exaggerating at all!) When they replaced the security things on the doors it became more of a pain and I gave up and bought some NHS ones off Amazon. I think most of my colleagues have also bought their own which makes a mockery of the security aspect

thebookeatinggirl · 23/03/2018 22:50

I recently spent ages searching for a clear one, that wouldn't clash so much with different colours, but no one seems to make them. Mine swings in children's faces (teacher) and worse, the clip sometimes catches in girls' hair, if it's tied back and then I yank it b6 mistake. Hate it.

Mynewnameforabit · 23/03/2018 22:53

I was a bit worried it was a thread about possible names for a baby Grin, would certainly be unusual!

coldcanary · 23/03/2018 22:59

I recently started a job in a school and have been introduced to lanyards. I have to wear it at all times when on school premises. I’ll be honest, it’s a pain in the arse for me and because I work in EY if I bend down to speak to one of the children it’s just long enough to get caught in the hair of the child. Apparently stuffing it down my top is not an option.
I do like the ones worn at DD’s school though, most have their names embroidered on them and half of the teachers have pins or badges attached.

Alabasterangel6 · 23/03/2018 23:01

I am the saddo who has actually managed to have an accident with mine.

I was shredding and mine went in. Luckily instead of throttling me, the shitty shredder is so old and inadequate that it tried to shred my ID card but couldn’t cope and ground to a standstill with me at a stoop in front of it. I pressed the reverse button and it vomited back the card with the first 4cm
Shredded into little fingers.

Since then I wear it stuffed into my back jeans picked with the lanyard hanging out like a tail. Pointless.

SarahSiddons · 23/03/2018 23:03

Many years ago I was working at the DWP. A woman came round with a clipboard and asked where my pass was. It was on my desk next to me. I got a black mark because I should have been wearing it. Happy days.

Nowadays (not dwp) I wear it all the time. We have signs in the lift saying ‘is everyone in the lift wearing their pass’ and I need it to get out to the loos and use the printer.

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