But not really about prosecco i guess.
I'm going away this weekend with old friends, I'm driving while they're training so I've got all the food and drink and they're saying me back. The money for this weekend has come out of payment for some overtime i did in the last couple of months - so over and above my regular wage. Dh and i pool our wages and after all bills are deducted, split the remainder 3 ways - the usual result is £150 each as spending money plus £100 joint 'fun money' to do things together or as a family.
When i got this extra lump of cash we discussed what to do, i said i wanted to do this weekend and he agreed (enthusiastically). He got a similar amount recently (unexpected inheritance) and spent some of it on paint and other stuff to decorate the kitchen - his,idea, his choice, i actually didn't know about it until he'd started. I assume the rest went into his general spending money.
Last night i picked him up from a,meeting and after dinner he asked if we had any wine, i said no, he said can i have one from your stash (for the weekend), i said no, it's for the weekend. He said, you could replace it tomorrow? And i said 'if i wanted to go shopping tomorrow (on the way there), i wouldn't have gone today! Bit rude, admittedly, i was stressed out about packing etc I'm afraid.
Later on he said he was really angry at,being told 'no' like that. He said a lot of things, over and over, but the general gist is that its how you would speak to a junior at work, and he didn't like coming home from a day at work, followed by another stressful meeting to be just told 'no, you can't have that' about something we do have . This escalated to a huge row all about finances in general and me being controlling. The back story here is - he is shit with money and,has,been since we married, so a few years,ago we moved all the direct debits etc to my bank account, every month he pays his wages over to me minus his spending share. I recognise that i am quite controlling of our money, because i worry so much about him pissing it all up the wall, but i dispute his argument here that the weekend prosecco was bought with 'his' money. It didn't come out of the family budget, i bought it on cc, will be partly reimbursed by friends and pay the rest off when my overtime comes in at end of the month. He says if I'd asked him, he would have agreed in a heartbeat and gone out to replace today. He agreed i have a 'right' to say no but says,he never would to me.
I feel he's implying I should say,yes to whatever he asks, even if inconvenient and i think, why? To me it was just a casual request and a casual denial. Nothing stopping him going out to buy some for himself. As it was he went ahead and opened it anyway so i had to drive out at 10pm and replace it as i really didn't want to stop today.
He agreed in the argument that.i am right 'within the letter of the law' but clearly felt i was,being a tight, selfish bitch. I feel that if you ask for a favour/gift and are then outraged that its refused, then you weren't really asking but demanding, and he's basically implying that whatever he asks for, i have to give him if i love him properly.
All this over fucking prosecco!!!! What,do you think? Am i just being tight and selfish? Our views are so totally opposed that i felt genuinely bewildered during the row and need some perspective.