Lifts for kids wwyd?

[Spicylolly]

Multiple choice wwyd.

Background: DD year 9, to get to school its 15/20 min walk (uphill) to the station, 10/15min train ride and then a 15/20 min walk (uphill) to the school. And obviously vice versa back home but always usually picked up from home station as fits in with parents work pattern & and are nearby/passing.
Lift to school isn't really an option, too far away and sibling is at a local primary school, they leave about 45 mins later to drop them off. Parent leaves for work about 9.30am/10.00am ish

A) Always drive them to the first station, that's a long walk either end.

B) Drive them to the first station if the weather is nasty, otherwise walking is fine.

C) Never drive them to the first station, they are at secondary school now.

D) Drive them occasionally but make sure they earn it/know it's because of good behaviour

E) Drive them all the way to the school gates and arrange alternate arrangements for the other younger child. (Just threw that in for fun...no one is that mad to to do that surely!? Lol)

F) They should walk to AND from the home town station they are 14 now regardless of how far they have to walk either end.

Interested to hear your thoughts 🙂

I had long journey to school.just gave me plenty of time to bunk off along the way.i started off with good intentions,but would get fed up on route ..

A bike is easier to carry heavy loads thank walking, so amount of stuff would suggest even more a bike, not less...

Why did the kid choose a school so far from home, 'cos if you chose it for them...

Probably A - 40 minutes' walk uphill with a backpack full of heavy books is no joke and not a great start to the day. If primary school child is 11 and the primary school near, I might even veer towards E, if it's on the way to parents' work.

I think the responses are probably indicative of what is considered "normal" in people's local area. Here in NE Scotland 95% (probably) of kids go to their local school (the only ones who don't are those who go private or the occasional one who goes to an out of zone school) and it would be rare for anyone to have more than a half hour walk to school.

In NI however where it is very normal to choose a school some distance away, (esp if you go to a grammar, but also still very normal at non-selective secondaries) nobody would bat an eyelid at the OP's DD's journey.

A.

Walking 40 minutes uphill with a heavy backpack isn't great for anyone.

Why do people seem so opposed to helping their children out after a certain point?
I would definately do A, E if she had lots of stuff or was having a bad day and if I was the one who decided she went to that school or that we moved house further away then I would be doing E all the time
Its much easier to find someone you trust who is going anyway to drop the younger sibling of a the local primary school.

Personally i quite like my kids and dont see family life as military training. They get lifts if the weather is grim and when fine if its reasonably convenient. With teens time spent in the car together is often when we connect and talk.

On the return journey the first part, walking to the station, is likely to be done in the company of other kids doing the same part of the journey, so I imagine it doesn't feel as far. Then a train ride, easy. Then a lift. So the home journey is a doddle.

As for the morning journey I don't think it is unreasonable for a healthy adolescent,in fact it is probably a good amount of exercise. I would leave it as it is and occasionally give an unconditional lift to the station when circumstances allow.

At the same age I had a similar length of walk ,up and down a huge hill, though without the train journey, so a continuous walk of about 40 minutes.

Make sure your child has a good backpack rather than a shoulder bag and they will be fine.

F. It's character-building and an introduction to the real world.

Both my 2 had a similar journey, although not the uphill bit and giving a lift was not an option. I dont drive and DH worked the other direction.
When ds was in 6th form DH changed job and he used to give DS a lift to school but it meant DS was at school by 7am in the morning. DD used to prefer the train rather than getting up that early, but she now walks 50 minutes to college and usually nabs a lift on the way home if someone is going passed or if she is going out and needs to get home quick.
D is a horrible idea.

I am another one who had a 15 minute walk, public transport and 20 minute walk.

There was no suggestion of a lift because my parents work did not fit in with school timings etc.

Child should expect to walk and be happy when a lift is offered occasionally when it is convenient for the driver.

Personally I would make the choice that both benefits my child the most whilst being doable for our work schedules. So possibly A. One of the reasons my dd chose our local school was because it is so close, why is this only becoming an issue for you now?

Is there any of his friends nearby to travel /share lifts with? My secondary DS walks 25 mins to school with a friend and sometimes I give them a lift if it's raining x

A

well, that is VERY similar t my dcs. One is year 10 and one year 8.

In our case the home station is a little further away and the train ride a little longer.

Our rule it this:

cycle to the station, take train and then walk at other end.
repeat on return.

BUT we have (been badgered into) some compromises -

-if actually raining, or forecast of heavy rain at home time, they go in car to station.

• if below zero/snow on ground, they go in car

-if over 30 degrees predicted for pm, they go int car

• if carrying something that is hard to negotiate on bike, they go in car.

In practice this winter they have been in the bloody car every day.
There is an option of coming home on bus, from the station, which we use when I am working and can't collect

(we also have younger dd to drop at primary school, but timings fit)

Can I just say that my dcs rarely have a heavy backpack. Do any secondary kids really? They seem to have veyr few text books.

Also - the line 40 minutes walk is not a great start to the day.

I actually think the opposite, many school sdo 'Wake and Shake' where they get the kids doign physical excerise first thing to get them moving, blood flow etc. I liek th eidea of my kids having a walk as part of their morning routine, it gets them going, ready for work. On the way home it is a chance to walk of some of the day's stress.

Since when did physical excercise become a bad thing? Aren't we all trying to combat the obesity generation?

How things have changed - I would have been hugely embarrassed as a teen to have been seen dead in the car with my parents. I walked whatever the weather

just to say through my own choice at 13 i had a hour journey to school mayb e bit more i got a lift to station in morning onyl coz there werent any other buses etc

In the situation you describe, B.

When we moved to Oz DS1 had a 10/15 minute level walk to and from the school bus which seemed totally reasonable - unless it is 35 degrees and you are used to UK weather. I ended up dropping him/ picking him up from the bus stop a lot of the time as I wasn't working at the time. If I had been working things might have had to be different but why on earth would I have let him struggle when I was around and not busy. There is a difference between teaching resilience and just being mean.

I loved my 40 min walk to school with friends. We did smoke a LOT during it though. Might get a bit boring alone I suppose.

Flipping you would have been embarrassed to have a lift to the station, nowhere near school? How exactly would see you?

I absolutely agree dropping secondary school children at the school gates is embarrassing and usually totally unnecessary, as well as usually dangerous to all the kids walking, therefore pretty selfish.

However dropping them at the station miles away from school, which only saves them 1/3 of a 3 part journey? How can that be embarrassing?

Who not how

Go to the local school?

B

It IS helping kids out to give them reliable, regular exercise, good for your health, mentally and physically, and better for the environment. Being wet and miserable is a different thing at the start of the day to the end of the day, when you can change easily, so lifts then are fine.

The only exercise my fiance gets is walking around with his heavy bags.

Honestly, this 'doing nice things for your kids' stuff drives me nuts - it's infantilising. There's nothing wrong with phasing in responsibilities.

Meh. That’s not a huge commute. I might offer a lift to the first station if the weather was utterly horrific but otherwise i’d Expect my kids to get there and back themselves. I did similar. It wasn’t an issue. Just got on with it.