To think that no one is as dumb as me?

[Babababababybel14]

When I was about 11 I decided to bleach my hair. This was before the internet. So I thought bleaching your hair meant exactly that. As in the stuff you put down the loo. So I poured half a bottle of bleach on my head. Screamed the house down and had to be carted off to a and e. Very painful burns for weeks.
No one can beat that level of idiocy

@gggrrrargh I had that Filofax too! I loved it! My stupid story- family bbq. I'm about 15 and trying to act all cool talking to my older brother and bouncing the garden rake up and down with my foot. I forget what I'm doing and put all my weight on the head of the rake and 'smack' knock myself out cold! Had a massive black egg on my head for ages afterwards!

Most of these seems to be lots of diy beauty treatments what the hell do we do to ourselves

I once waxed my upper lip but left the wax peel strip thing on for too long and was left with a red Hitler style moustache made of peeled away skin and wax. I can laugh about it now but they were difficult weeks at work. Took weeks to calm down and heal.

My mothers family think ‘delicacy’ is an actual thing too, like diabetes.

‘She can’t have children because she has delicacy’
‘He doesn’t drive because of the delicacy’

None of you can top my stupidity though. I ironed my shirt collars and burned my neck with the iron. The shirt was on me.

Remember being in year 7 at school and just started shaving my legs. I thought the harder you shaved the longer it took for the hair to grow back. My legs were on absolute fire. Safe to say the hair did stay away for about 3 weeks lol

"cos we looked like schemies"

What does that mean?

When I was a kid I used to think that blinking was a sign of being tired. So whenever I was trying to convince my mum that I wasn't tired I would do my best to not blink while looking at her. All while trying to yawn with my eyes open

Aged 13 I ate some of what I believed to be sherbet in a bowl by the sink. It turned it to be washing powder. What should have given it away was a) The colour b) the smell c) the fact that we weren't allowed sweets ever except at Christmas and Easter (it wasn't a festive time if year).

You know that whole thing about putting an egg on your hair to make it lovely and shiny? Totally works, it's very conditioning.

Only don't rinse it out with lovely baking hot shower water....

oh dear lol

Midwife told me to be careful ironing as she always sees iron burns on pregnant bellies. Guess who had an iron burn on her belly at the next appointment.

Lol

I did that too
Didn't get any burns though

Urubu, so did I!!

CaffeineAndCrochet, seems I'm dumber that I look. I did exactly the same (as an adult)

Unfinishedkitchen that's true of hen eggs, but I know people who have had some success hatching quail eggs from the supermarket. Apparently, quails only lay when there's a male in the flock. When the chicks hatch, they're the size of a bumble bee, so cute!

Age about 30 I got out of the shower and my eyes felt a bit dry. Went to get a little bottle of eye drops out of my make up bag. Only I didn't have my glasses on and I picked up the nail glue. That smarted. A&E staff were deeply unimpressed. As was my Mum. I've NEVER been so embarrassed.

I was giving DH a haircut with a trimmer the day before an Exceedingly Important Interview for a big promotion at work.

After I'd given him a number 3 all over, I took the number 3 attachment off to shave his neck closely. I promptly noticed some hairs I'd missed on top and gave him a huge square bald patch.

I still feel hot now when I think of it.

PS he got the job.

insomniacsAnonymous schemie
ˈskiːmi/Submit
nounSCOTTISHinformalderogatory
a person who lives on a social housing development, typically seen as disadvantaged or disreputable.
"he is a young schemie from one of the housing estates"

This is a brilliant thread
I used my dads razor to shave my face when I was about 7
Cue massacre of the innocents in the bathroom

them long black stud pins you get in corona furniture, when I was about 10 I stood on one and got it stuck in my foot.

I went into my brothers room to show him what I'd just done and did it again!

wow still remember that.

Cut some cardboard as a child whilst I had my lovely long hair down...thought the cardboard felt thicker than usual and yes, I’d cut my hair off foo

@HermionesRightHook
I can just imagine you now with an omelette on your head

It was more scrambled @Babababababybel14!

This might out me but here goes.

When I was about 18 I did a hippy dippy fire walking course. All about mind over matter and the whole day leading up to the big fire walk at the end. All fine, no injuries.

Fast forward a few years later and I was travelling in India. It was New Year’s Eve and we were on the beach, lots of alcohol etc around a camp fire.

Well, you can probably guess what’s coming, but in my drunken state I was telling my newly made friends and fellow travellers about the fire walking course and thought it would be a great idea to demonstrate this skill and stepped, barefoot into the camp fire.
I can’t tell you the pain! I couldn’t walk for days, we had to postpone the next leg of our journey and spend another week at that beach (where everyone knew me as the girl who put her foot into a fucking campfire on purpose )
I probably should have gone to hospital.

We are a family with peachy down on our cheeks which is why when younger my mother dyed her hair including those on her face where the dye ran only once!.
She also used that fake tan that you used to put on and let develope overnight and woke up a streaky nicotine colour.Since she had to work the next day she decided a bath in dilute bleach was a good idea.It did remove the tan but also had a detrimental effect on her more delicate anatomy.She walked and sat carefully for weeks.
In the days of nylon shirts and in my early days of ironing as a teen I spent an entire year unable to remove school cardigan as the was an iron shaped hole on one of my shirts(also in the days when you didn't have a clean shirt each day).
Getting distracted when cooking I am famous for and have produced charcoal from the oven and had set quite a few pans alight when heating oil to cook onions in,the flames can be quite dramatic even eiylth a little oil.