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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that no one is as dumb as me?

100 replies

Babababababybel14 · 22/03/2018 22:11

When I was about 11 I decided to bleach my hair. This was before the internet. So I thought bleaching your hair meant exactly that. As in the stuff you put down the loo. So I poured half a bottle of bleach on my head. Screamed the house down and had to be carted off to a and e. Very painful burns for weeks.
No one can beat that level of idiocy

OP posts:
HildaZelda · 22/03/2018 22:58

@willthisdoo my mother. The main bathroom AND the downstairs loo. Yep, just as unhygienic as it sounds.

Bibibou · 22/03/2018 22:59

My childhood best friend used to think that you saw things out of your mouth. Not sure what she thought your eyes were for! Every photo of her as a youngster is with mouth wide open so she wouldn't bump into things. Grin

hardheadedwoman · 22/03/2018 23:00

When I was about six I decided I didn’t want a fringe anymore. So I cut it off at the hairline

ShatterResistant · 22/03/2018 23:01

MissClare I also checked whether the electric Hob was heating up by putting my hand flat on it, also when I was about 11. I remember nearly fainting from the shock and pain, and also that I had the rings imprinted on my hand for weeks. Such idiocy!!

MissClareRemembers · 22/03/2018 23:06

Shatter freakin’ agony!

I also fondly remember slamming my thumb in the car door. 😫

My sister once stretched her arms sort of diagonally up behind her head when sat on the back seat of our hatchback car...at the exact same moment my dad shut the boot. I can still remember her scream and come over all unnecessary at the very thought.

ShatterResistant · 22/03/2018 23:09

MissClare these things really stay with you, don’t they? I can’t stop imagining your poor sister’s arms!

Bibibou · 22/03/2018 23:09

Age 11yrs I stood eating a hot dog right in the firing line of a Coconut Shy.Shock

tolerable · 22/03/2018 23:12

when i first got house i called the council n demanded urgent visit from house inspector-upon his arrival i dragged him upstairs to view the well-dodgy bared electricity wires behind the bathroom sink

Aquamarine1029 · 22/03/2018 23:12

@kimanda I left the kitchen and got distracted. I wasn't standing there watching the microwave nuke the popcorn. I'm not THAT dumb.

Wafflenose · 22/03/2018 23:13

I was once demonstrating to my sister how a boy at school had tipped his water all over the table... and ended up tipping my full cup of tea all over the table. Oops.

GabsAlot · 22/03/2018 23:17

@bibibou how old was she and when did she realise

kate sorry but they did make me laugh

LyannaStarktheWolfMaid · 22/03/2018 23:20

When I was 9 I dodged a sponge ball and hit my head on the corner of a table. Needed five stitches in my brow, still have a scar...

Bibibou · 22/03/2018 23:24

GabsAlot - she only admitted it fairly recently...but she had a rather large mouth at the best of times so you can imagine the pictures!

Frequency · 22/03/2018 23:27

My mother once rang up and asked if one of my children had accidentally taken home the wi-fi because her computer couldn't find it anymore and they were last ones to have it.

After trying for a while to explain what wi-fi was I gave up and told her I'd found it in DD's bookbag and would return it later that day. She told me to stop treating her as though she is stupid, she knows the wi-fi wouldn't fit in their bookbag, they'd taken it home on their machine Hmm

villageshop · 22/03/2018 23:34

I thought babies came out of your tummy button and I swear I was an adult before I realised that you didn't have to have your nipples pierced with a needle to be able to breast feed.

InsomniacAnonymous · 22/03/2018 23:39

Bibibou Didn't your friend notice that she didn't go blind when she closed her mouth? Didn't she clean her teeth and realise she couldn't see the toothbrush? How about when she ate? She couldn't see the food in her mouth could she? It makes no sense. Confused

InsomniacAnonymous · 22/03/2018 23:40

"I swear I was an adult before I realised that you didn't have to have your nipples pierced with a needle to be able to breast feed."

Shock How did you think other mammals fed their offspring?

Frogthefrog · 22/03/2018 23:45

Frequency that is amazing... stolen wifi Grin

As a child I decided I wanted to see how sharp my mum's razor was. I ran it lightly across my finger and it didn't do anything, so I pressed down on the back of it and dragged it across the pad of my finger. Trip to minor injuries followed to have it steri-stripped back together Hmm

Bibibou · 23/03/2018 00:58

InsomniacAnonymous...I agree! But don't think that she applied any logic to her theory. But then she was only a kid.

Soubriquet · 23/03/2018 07:13

Shaving my legs in the bathroom and noticed there was a lot of hair on the blade. Instead of swishing it through the water...I wiped thumb over it instead. It bled. Lots.

I had two long deep cuts across my thumb for ages. Hurt like hell too.

EarlyNinetiesDecor · 23/03/2018 07:47

Soub my contribution is identical to yours! My skin crawls at the thought of it and have no idea why I touched the blade at all

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 23/03/2018 08:03

I think I was about 3 when I tested Dad's razor for sharpness. It didn't hurt much, but there was all this pretty red paint...

pickledegglover · 23/03/2018 08:05

When I was 12 I found a scalpel ( my mother used them for artwork ) and thought I'd see how sharp it was by running it across the sofa. I was grounded until my late teens.

I also decided to paint my fathers transit van with red gloss paint.

I also tried to jump out of my bedroom window onto a flat garage roof but whilst sliding down onto the roof, the window latch got caught in my dungarees and I was left hanging for an hour until my neighbour spotted me. Worst wedgy ever.

I think I was a nightmare child.

LegArmpits · 23/03/2018 08:07

I did the same as PP not putting the back of the plug back on - when I plugged it in I got blown across the room! 🙈

ChristianGreysAnatomy · 23/03/2018 08:20

WHen I was about 11 I opened a battery, to see what was inside. A blob of battery acid flew up and landed 2mm from the corner of my eye. I never told anyone!