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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Think he is crazy and end this relationship?

99 replies

DextroDependant · 22/03/2018 17:23

Picking my kids up from school one day and a man I dated for 6 months about 11 years ago said hello to me. He must have moved to the area.

My current partner was with me and said who is that so I said someone I dated before I had the kids.

After that we saw him once more and then I never saw him again.

My current partner whenever he comes to the school with me tends to wait across the road with the dog, he always says that he has seen him. I say he must be mistaken because I haven't seen him since.

Anyway today he went to collect the kids for me because I am not feeling well.
He says oh I saw your ex, I took a photo to prove it. When he got home the picture was not my ex so at some point he has obviously got confused.

Anyway he has caused a big row saying I have lied to him and I did say that that man was my ex. I googled my actual ex to show him and he got a right cob on bevaise I wanted to look him up.

A) How could I lie when the only reason the man was brought up is because he said hello to me. Therefore I couldn't pretend that it was someone else.

B) why on earth would I lie about it anyway? For what purpose?

C) why does it matter! We dated for 6 months more than a decade ago. It's really totally a non issue.

So AIBU to just end this relationship. I don't have the energy to argue over stupid things any more I am looking the will to live!

OP posts:

Original poster

DextroDependant · 22/03/2018 19:44

I feel much better now I have an actual plan.

Change hotel.
Tell him holiday is cancelled and so is our relationship.
Live happily ever after.

@Ruffian My health is ok, its elective surgery but I will be off my feet for a few weeks after.

OP posts:

Ruffian · 22/03/2018 19:48

Oh that's good Dextro, just that you mentioned in your OP that you weren't well so I assumed it was all linked.

Sounds like a good plan! I think the suggestion to change locks is a good one as well.

Original poster

DextroDependant · 22/03/2018 19:51

Oh no I just a really bad case of menstrual cramps, unrelated to my OP. I have come off the pill and my body is settling. (I have a Coil, we aren't TTC heaven forbid)

OP posts:

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 22/03/2018 20:33

I think you've got this in the bag Dex, just tell him the holidays off and the the relationships over, if he still goes, that's his choice, he's an adult.

ReanimatedSGB · 22/03/2018 21:24

SOunds good. Hopefully he will fuck off without further telling, but don't be afraid/embarrassed of involving the authorities if he does act up.

Tistheseason17 · 22/03/2018 21:27

Pleased to hear you are ending it. His behaviour is controlling, obsessive and possessive. Best outta there.

Coyoacan · 22/03/2018 21:36

Would it be terrible of me to leave him on his own in a foreign country? No

milliemolliemou · 22/03/2018 21:42

OP - I would also change the locks on every external door in the house, notify your DC's school that he is not authorised to collect the children at any point. He sounds a very sad, jealous and potentially dangerous man. Do all this before you formally break up with him and tell him the holiday is cancelled. I'd also be tempted to call the non-emergency police service and ask for advice.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 22/03/2018 21:50

A tad over the top Millie

Well done Dex.

Have you done it yet?

Original poster

DextroDependant · 22/03/2018 21:59

Going to call the travel agent tomorrow and get new hotel sorted first before I speak to him.

Thanks for the support everyone

OP posts:

Bluntness100 · 22/03/2018 22:05

Change hotel. End it. It's not your problem after that if he goes on thr holiday. I'd tell him I'd changed it though and it's none of his business where you were now going, you're going away just you and the kids. Then go no contact.

Don't stay in a relationship with someone like this, especially if you've kids involved.

lightcola · 22/03/2018 22:07

My mum had a jealous partner. In the end he would only have to think she was looking at another man and he would beat her black and blue. Get rid.

LanguidLobster · 22/03/2018 22:07

Good luck with it Dexie-Wexie.

Hold by your instincts.

Original poster

DextroDependant · 22/03/2018 22:16

I've got this

I have also ordered myself the 'Living with a dominator' book. There are so many things he has done which would take up another 20 threads at least so I think a read of the book will help me act sooner in future.

OP posts:

MumsGoneToYonderLand · 22/03/2018 22:30

great! you sound like a strong person. Let us know how it goes and have a happy holiday.

Sarsparella · 22/03/2018 22:37

Well done OP, he sounds like a loon & you’ll be well rid

Hope you & your kids have a great holiday :)

WellThisIsShit · 23/03/2018 08:57

Well done, you sound like you’ve totally got this :)

bastardkitty · 23/03/2018 09:02

Would it be terrible of me to leave him on his own in a foreign country?

No, it would be ideal. He sounds horrendous.

NoFucksImAQueen · 23/03/2018 09:22

Good for you op!

DesperateforSPRING · 23/03/2018 09:29

goodness op - but do take great care - I agree jealousy to this degree can be extremely dangerous and hard to let go.

Fluffypurpleslipper · 23/03/2018 09:47

I can’t imagine him going abroad alone if he’s never been before.

AdalindSchade · 23/03/2018 15:36

How did you get on with changing the hotel? Have you told him yet?

ConkerGame · 23/03/2018 15:45

Massive red flag OP! Dump and run away!

Ellendegeneres · 28/03/2018 22:36

Did you manage to sort hotel op?

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