to not be particularly pleased when ds comes home from nursery having read a book about all the monsters in Dr Who?

[FrannyandZooey]

Another child brought it in, and he and ds spent the morning looking at it.

I would rather things like this from home were "oohed" over briefly by staff before being put away on a high shelf "to keep it safe until home time".

Ds particularly interested in "The Garlics"

"Mummy why do the Garlics try to kill Dr. Who?"

I like the alarm for a crying child!

Look, being influence by peer pressure is hugely important and normal and natural. It is a GOOD thing. Dr Who won't harm him.

Do you feel that anything is off limits for toys, then Edam? This is a very interesting subject to me

"Dr Who won't harm him"

In your opinion, no. I have a different opinion.

Frances, I do think you'd like Sardine. Dungeon is pretty good, too, although quite a bit more violent.

Well, I don't like guns, tbh, although I'm having difficulties over that one because weapons do seem to be something that interest almost all small boys. I don't want ds to be left out but I still don't approve of playing with guns. Which makes the superhero stuff tricky... but I wouldn't stop him playing Robin Hood, so am aware I'm not consistent on this one...

Can't think of anything else... give me some examples and I'll let you know!

Franny my point is that they go to reception at 4.5 - 5 years old and then one starts to come to terms with the external influences that help to shape your child and it can be rather difficult when you have been used to setting all the boundaries, steering them in a particular direction.

I think this is just a small precursor of that feeling

and I think i'm saying its a feeling all of us recognise

(Um. I think Frances is planning to home ed, so the 'inevitable' thing may not be about to happen to her ...)

I come to this thread with a totally different perspective, clearly. My ds has aspergers. it is pretty mild, I gather, adn his paediatrican confirms that. But his immunity to peer pressure is very much not to his advantage. His liking Dr Who because his peers do would be pretty bloody fantastic for us.

child still needs to socialise though

I don't think I recognise the position that you describe, Twiglett, of setting all the boundaries

if I could dictate my son's interests, as you seem to think I should have been able to up till now, we would have had a very different 4 years that is for sure

you can't dictate interests .. but I bet you have dictated boundaries

ie is he allowed to own toy guns?

or is he allowed to drink lemonade on special occasions?

there is no right answer for everybody there is just a right answer for you ... and that is your boundaries .. it is these boundaries that one starts to rethink because the more social they become the more external influences they have

I can see Aloha's point of view and Franny's I have one foot in each of those standpoints atm and it feels as though I am doing the splits rather painfully

I don't agree though Twiglett (as you know) that there is this laconic inevitability around the interests of children ot this this (still very young) age. I know 5/6/7yo boys who socialise perfectly well and have no peer problems at all but who have been kept away from inappropriate crap like Power Rangers/DrWho/Spiderman because their parents feel it is wrong and potentially damaging to expose a young child to graphic violence and mindless merchandising-oriented claptrap. With a bit of skill/effort one can play up a child's more socially appealing facets without selling out one's principles entirely.

But I haven't really hit the sharp end of this debate yet myself. My 4.8yo's current interests include biting me, eating clods of earth and wetting himself.

Yes, of course I dictate boundaries and we have house rules, I am his parent

But setting boundaries on his interests would have been particularly pointless and kind of creepy, really

I can see you are trying to suggest that the problem here is that I am failing to deal with having to let go of the control I allegedly have over him

but it is in fact just that I don't like Dr Who

I am not trying to suggest that at all .. I am pointing out how life as a parent changes as your child gets older .. and how it is difficult for parents to adjust to burgeoning independence

and greeny .. describing stuff as 'inapporpriate crap' is fairly judgemental no? Particualarly when its already been pointed out that many people see them as the modern equivalent of morality tales and Brother's Grim

Yes, it's judgemental - I don;t think judgement is always a bad thing. It's my firmly held view on this sort of programming aimed at children, I've never made a secret of it. It's horseshit IMO.

how do you keep 5/6/7 yr olds away from Dr Who Spiderman etc and still let them socialise? Or do you restrict them to socialising only with children whose parents share your views?

Genuine question, as a mother of a 5 and 8 yr old

How old are your kids, btw Twiglett?

Wow. I am hoping my Dr who mad 7 yr old will turn into a millionaire Terry Pratchett or Eofin Colfer. Where is the difference? Some of it is beautifully done. I think there is some dross but also some great imagination and also some solid points about humanity and man if you look close enough. More of a problem with PowerRangers, yeah, but in my exp. that is a bit more passing.

How come Dr Who is to be discouraged but a equally sci-fi/new age/witchcraft stuff like even Harry P, aforementioned Pratchett or Jasper Fforde is okay? Don't get it man.

6 and 3 Greeny

but I am wise beyond their years

when DS was 3 I was adamant that he would never own a toy gun

when DS was 4 I was adamant that he would never own a toy gun

when DS was 5 I was adamant that he would never own a toy gun

when DS was 6 he went to a cowboy party in cowboy hat, checked shirt, holster and toy gun

ROFL at self

Most kids don't carry portable TVs in their pockets, do they Iota? And none of the schools I have considered for ds1 have a policy of allowing toys into school from home. Of course you can't stop the talking about it - but the level at which that happens is still pretty rudimentary at this age I think. DS1 came out of nursery the other morning clutching a "Power Ranger" he'd made - it was a tomato punnet with some masking tape and a few fragments of pasta sellotaped to it. He was so proud of it. A bit of gentle questioning revealed that he had no idea whether a Power Ranger was animal, mineral or vegetable, nor did he much care. That's a far cry from sitting glued to the screen while aliens are drinking people's blood through a straw, IMO

So you didn't achieve what you set out to achieve, Twiggy. It's not our fault

but Greeny, I was thinking more about socialising on playdates, not at school.

when DD was nearly 3 she also had her own toy gun

its more about being flexible and allowing other thoughts to change one's mind