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Original poster

Constant whatsapp group messages interfering

80 replies

notagain123456 · 21/03/2018 10:36

Hi, I was wondering what everyones thoughts were on whatsapp group chats?
I am involved in my husbands family group chat and it is causing me a few issues, it is constant to the point i feel like they are living in our pockets.
From sending a silly picture to sending a photo of their food, my husband is just as bad and instigates many conversations. His sister and brother in law discuss food shopping lists and have their own conversations on there and i find it too much. He doesnt get in until late and if a chat is started i dont feel we have time together alone, i feel like they are there.

I dont think they txt this much before we were together which makes me question what they do it now. My husband has lots of group chats going and replies to everything.

My dilemma is i really want to leave the group but then it will bring up questions as to why and i dont want to explain. Should i feel lucky i have been included in this? I know people would feel excluded if they hadnt been added to their husbands group and i can understand why.

My family have a group too but its not intrusive and constant.

We see his family often enough so i dont believe its because they miss him. We went out with them 3 weeks on the run a while back (which frustrated me)as its too much.

OP posts:
NeepNeepNeep · 21/03/2018 12:55

Oh dear OP. Your phone is low on space and really slowing down. You need to "temporarily" delete Whatsapp until you sort it out. Send that then leave immediately!

Original poster
notagain123456 · 21/03/2018 12:56

neep, ha ha i think this is what i am going to do, i unfortunately cannot ignore the red numbers increasing when i mute and disable notifications. that would piss me off just as much.

OP posts:
NeepNeepNeep · 21/03/2018 12:58

It works Wink trick is to exit immediately after sending. Then actually delete whatsapp and don't tell them when you install again!

Weebo · 21/03/2018 13:02

She said he cried when he saw his mum walking down the aisle?

Eh?

VikingBlonde · 21/03/2018 13:03

Go girl! I'm strangely so glad to hear that it's not just my in laws that are this banal and ... constant. I thought they were very peculiar! Shock

I guess we all have to accept that everyone does things their own strange way and that also means that you are fully allowed to do what is right for you. Which is in this case, sounds like getting the hell out of family WhatsApp groups !

Incidentally as I was concerned MY fam weren't being overtly loving enough by NOT having a WhatsApp group I started one up and it just ... dwindled away like an unloved plant.

Every now and again we email a group thing to bash each other about who's where at Xmas but until we need to know what/where/who as a family We are happiest talking privately. Other families do it differently. Shake it off and enjoy the peace and quiet! X x

NeepNeepNeep · 21/03/2018 13:04

I think the sister is saying that he cried when he saw his sister coming down the aisle (bridesmaid?) not his wife.

midnightmisssuki · 21/03/2018 13:08

my family are like this - we live in different continents so this is our main way of communication sadly. We dont go on there all the time, my husband was included initially but he got really annoyed with it popping up and buzzing when he was working so he politely told the group he was leaving which is fair enough. Its not constant like i said - but there are times where we have a spurt of when we are all awake and therefore the conversations run into the hour, which i admit, can be quite annoying to the person who has nothing much to say.

I would do what my husband did and explain to your partners family why you are leaving the group. Hopefully they understand.

onemouseplace · 21/03/2018 13:09

I just mute the groups that do the endless inane chatter and check them occasionally - if I miss something I miss something.

The worst for this is our PTA group - we are quite a big school and for some unknown bloody reason every time a message is sent out to class reps to pass on to their classes, then the vast majority of the reps feel the need to post that they have done it. It makes my blood boil, it really does. I do not need 30 notifications "sent to 1X" etc etc.

School groups really are the worst ones though. OK, I can live with "X has lost their jumper, please can you keep an eye out". What I can't live with is then the 20 people who feel the need to say they don't have it. Aaaaaghh.

dontbesillyhenry · 21/03/2018 13:10

A family group chat? My my my. No thanks

ohwhataday · 21/03/2018 13:11

Can you mute one person?
I belong to a reasonable group connected to a sport we all play but there's one person who needs muting. He posts banal, inane nonsense every day.

YoohooDorothy · 21/03/2018 13:12

Yes i would change your notification settings and mute the group. My work whatsapp can be annoying sometimes but i wouldn't want to leave altogether as sometimes its useful or funny.

GammaDelta · 21/03/2018 13:12
  1. You Can Archive chat so it goes to the bottom of the like but it comes up again as soon as someone messages.
  1. You can also pay for apps n then manage the group chats better i.e. you can archive chats n they won't come up till uout scroll down and check them. Etc.
Original poster
notagain123456 · 21/03/2018 13:18

ive left the group! Grin

OP posts:
MsHarry · 21/03/2018 13:22

I have one for my family because I have siblings and other family abroad so it's lovely and easier to keep in touch. I don't do FB or other social media. We have days when there is lots of chat and then weeks of nothing. I love it. I don't feel obliged to reply as some things are more between other members It's a great way of sharing with cousins that I wouldn't normally phone or see.

MsHarry · 21/03/2018 13:23

But DH hasn't? Doesn't really solve anything does it?

Chattymummyhere · 21/03/2018 13:24

My dh has a work one he just went into settings on his phone and turned off notifications for WhatsApp. His not opened the app in about a year but nobody questions him as he hasn’t left and he doesn’t have to have 100+ notifications sat on his screen quite funny though work told everyone with a work mobile they must have it but it just ended up being 100’s of random rubbish message so about football and crap.

MsHarry · 21/03/2018 13:27

I love ours as you only have to send one message for meet ups etc. You get everyone's opinion in one place about getting together so there's no needing to phone or text everyone separately.

BitOutOfPractice · 21/03/2018 13:27

cannot ignore the red numbers increasing when i mute and disable notifications

therewon't be any red numbers if you turn off notifications

Original poster
notagain123456 · 21/03/2018 13:30

msharry no he hasnt and i wouldnt expect him too but he's in loads of groups anyway so his phone is constantly going off.

if the group was for meet ups i would have no issue but its 24/7 crap, literally as im sat at work its been constantly going off

OP posts:
VikingBlonde · 21/03/2018 13:30

Not again well done!!! StarStarStar

MsHarry · 21/03/2018 13:31

Just turn notifications off or sound off your phone.

VikingBlonde · 21/03/2018 13:32

I never really "got" the Royle Family either - but lots of people did - I guess some families like to sit on top of each other bantering about nothing and others don't.

Wonder what we will be like when our kids are older. Probably by then we will all have special glasses that we can watch what each other are doing on hahaha

NinjagoNinja · 21/03/2018 13:34

I have it set to no notifications. Once or twice a day I'll tap on the app to see if there are any messages. I state this when I join or am added to a group so people know not to expect quick responses from me. Just couldn't be doing with it. School mums groups alone would be beeping all day long.

"Anyone seen little Jimmy's swimming hat?" Followed by 20 odd "no, sorry, hope you find it" messages. 🙄

Wintertime4 · 21/03/2018 13:40

Just turn off the notifications for group chats.

If anything’s important it’ll be to me directly from an individual so I’ll get a notification for that. Job done!

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 21/03/2018 13:43

In my last but one job, I ended up in 3 whatsapp groups for work. My phone never stopped trilling, I muted it on days off but would see 100s of missed messages and would feel my heart sink. I stupidly designated those groups their own ringtone as well and since I hated the job anyway it wasn't long before I had a conditioned mini-panic attack response to that noise on days when I needed the notifications on. I felt my job owned me. One of the managers used her particular group to tell the staff off, too. I'd get long rants not aimed at me and feel a bit sick. I was not sorry to delete those groups within 5min of my last day at work ending.

And I live on my whatsapp.