AIBU to really hate my boyfriends interfering parents.

[Shootfirstaskquestionslater]

not sure if AIBU or if it really is help. My boyfriends parents are really interfering and are starting to seriously piss me off. To start off with I liked them but things are now starting to go down hill they come in to my home and tell me what I should give up things like cups and a slow cooker that my parents gave to me they take me stuff and say they will store it in their house which means that I have to ask them for my stuff back when I need it which gives them an excuse to come round to my house they have taken food from my house before now. I'm now at the point where I'm struggling finacially and I can no longer keep a roof over my head my only choices are to either move back home or move in with my boyfriend but my boyfriends parents don't want me moving back home because in their mind that is a step back and they don't want me moving in with my boyfriend so what am I suppose to do end up homeless. They are trying to armchair diagonose me as having argraphobia I don't have that I have anxiety they think my new medication is some kind of mircale cure and that I should get a job if only it was that easy I can't leave the house on my own and they are trying to force me in to going back to therapy which I don't want. I've had his mum sit in the doctors with me. I'm getting seriously pissed off with them now and I've just had enough of them moving back home would give me peace from them. They think they are giving me the building blocks of life thats not what I need right now not when am worried about how am paying rent when I don't have the money. I refuse to speak to them about anything anymore but that doesn't stop my boyfriend from telling them everything. How do I keep them out of my life without losing it with them. I'm 28 I'm struggling with my mental health and now I'm struggling with the worlds most annoying parents who don't want their little boy to grow up he's not allowed to do anything and now neither am I.

I think its a good thing that you're going home for some support, OP, but you know, its not easy to get a flat, esp if you are on benefits. Would it not be easier just to end things with the boyfriend (and by extension his parents) , and keep your own space? You can always pick things up with the boyfriend again later on when the problems with his parents have died down.

OP usually anxiety and depression mean that you can't think clearly, despite of this you have come up with a good clear plan and I am so pleased your mum is supporting you.

I can't see that you have mentioned how far away your mum lives, I am hoping for your sake it is far enough away that you can get the clear space you so obviously need.

These people are nasty and manipulative.

Get your stuff if you can, but be ready to ditch it just to get clear and free and ready to hit the road to recovery. If you do start to feel better DON'T come back!

With un mumsnetty hugs

I've read a few of your threads @Shootfirstaskquestionslater the last one was over Christmas about presents (games) for your dad. It sounded then as though your boyfriend and his parents were being helpful and your parents were difficult, how has this changed? When did they start taking your things? Have you made up with your parents?

It sounds as if you really want to go home, if that's what you want then do it, if your bf and his parents can't support your choice then I think the best bet is to get rid of them.
You need to put yourself first

Bobblehat102 I'm hoping that he may eventually go no contact with them but thats a decision that he needs to make himself he is capable of rebelling and he is a lot clever than they give him credit for. I have told him that he can't tell them anything at all about me because its not their business. Thank you I will update the thread when I'm all sorted out.

LoveInToyko I'm 28 and my boyfriend is 25.

Motoko I have no idea why he gives them money he says he does it to help them out he doesn't owe them anything they invited me and him over for a birthday meal for his birthday and his mums birthday the catch was that it was a takeaway and he had to pay for it. I don't think he does know that no he just sees it all as normal and says that every family is different. They have a christmas tree that my grandparents gave to me and I can't remember what else they managed to get. I know that she also still has all stuff that she took from my cupboards so I'm taking them back.

funnylittlefloozy Even if I ended things with him I would still have to go home I can't afford my flat anymore once I'm back on my feet and working again I will be able to start again but while am not well and unable to work its better for me if I just give up my flat before it gets to point where they kick me out for not paying the rent.

Rejoiner It took posting on mumsnet for me to be able to realise that I'm not in the wrong here and that I really am best off at home. She lives close to his parents but they wouldn't dare turn up on my mums doorstep not if they know whats good for them. They really are nasty and manluative and very under hand. I will try and get my stuff back but am willing to just forget about it if I can't get it.

fannythrobbing I've sorted things out with my parents and I thought his mum and dad where being helpful it was only when I blew up at the weekend and from talking to my mum that I realised that they aren't being helpful at all they trying everything that they can to cut me off from my family and take over my life.

curious86 I do really want to go home thats where I belong right now my boyfriend supports my choice but his parents will never support my choice because they know me going home means that they can no longer get to me.

They wanted to turn your garage in to a granny flat for me because they did have planning permission for it that would've given them full control over me and they would never of left me alone if that idea had gone ahead.

I would deffo get your mum to act as an advocate....

She rings them up ' barking parents I'll be collecting my daughters stuff from you on x or y date as she needs them returned'. And don't get into any convo, justification with them.... I'm sure they'll want 10 reasons in triplicate - these manipulative people can make you doubt reality... That they took your property under duress...

Or better,
If local,
A note through the door as well. In some ways may be better not to tell them a time as it gives them an excuse... 'Oh I'm plaiting my nosehair that week/the dog will be sick then'