Been with DH for 16 years, since we were very young. I had been sexually assaulted twice in the preteen years and was very vulnerable.
Since the beginning he's always pushed sex on me even if I said no or I'm not in the mood. He has always had problems with E.D so if I said no he would expect a hand job which could easily last a couple of hours and he would ask again the next day.
If I said no completely, he would take it as rejection and make an argument, sulk etc and try again the next day.
4 weeks after middle child was born he added 'toys' into the bedroom, I wasn't ready to have sex yet (waited only 2 weeks after dc1's birth, in which I tore) I went along with the toys but have never liked it. Mostly him getting me to do things to him.
At one point I avoided the toys and he said he didn't want to have quicky, it had to include foreplay which in his mind was toys. When we didn't have sex, it would a guilt trip, would cause arguments and he would be very hard to live with. I was exhausted and he was expecting 2 hour sex sessions regularly.
It came to the point where I sat on the floor and cried when he tried to initiate.
He hasn't asked since and we haven't had sex for months. He has made pointed comments that he regards sex as being a sign of love and being close to someone.
I'm really dreading him bringing it up which will happen eventually, I don't have any support network and am in a situation where logistically, just getting the DC to their schools at the moment requires us both. I need a bit more time (6 months - a year) but if I don't think I'll get it if I don't have sex with him.