hmmm..

[tolerable]

OK.Try to condense.I have a long-standing/not too manageable sleep disorder-ins and outs aside; i sleep like am dead. If left to it,probli wouldnt get up very often at all. Alarm clocks cover my window ledge,top of wardrobe etc..as much use as none somedays. Biggest prob is school. my ds is 7. tho great once he gets there is not overly enthusiastic about going. on the worst days,alarms ring,phone rings..but pretty much it requires one as persistant and relentless as my boy to wake me. This isnt a new problem.school were pre-warned its a problem area. (i am lone parent,no family or friends here)Whilst appeared really understanding at first-in practice-they arent. i got took in heads office-she had made a colour chart indicating late days with contrasting colour of on times. i wasnt particularly joyous and only managed to say "wow,did you do that yourself". i liase with head,class teacher-eg doc changes my meds.i get him detail how long to stop one on,how long new one to kick in..its very trial and even more error. my aibu is on friday the kids got "snapshot"jotter home that has pieces of work from points throughout year.at end is a parents comments space.its scotland,wee nicola has already got every child coded and on system..presumeably the snapshot will only actually be for sons use in future. the teacher has written "article missing due to latecoming"..i am inclined to ..rant..photocopy the latest "pinnpoint header doctor assesment" its not ds fault hes late(is usually half hour tops).i always note his homework or include letter requesting "catch up"which we can do at home. never ever get any.aibu-thinking they are,my son lives with me, 24/7,i dont pretend i think lates ok,i dont think this was place to reiterate it.i want to respond.wtfdo i do?

This is a bit confusing to read if I’m honest.

What steps have you taken to address your sleep problems? Are you seeing a doctor about? It’s incredibly unfair on your child if they’re late on a regular basis.

I think if the school know about your sleep disorder and that you're doing all you can to minimise the disruption it causes then they are being a bit U.

However, if you're frequently half an hour late, could a short term solution not be to start the alarm clock chorus half an hour earlier? If you're half an hour late say 3/5 days a week, that's an hour an a half of school DS is missing every week, which adds up to quite a lot.

Oh… This is me. I will guarantee that this is a problem that very rarely receives sympathetic responses.

I cannot claim to have found a solution yet although I do use an alarm designed for the deaf. This does help although DH thinks that I got it to give him a heart attack each morning. It makes about 30 mins of it going off for me to register it...

Half an hour really is very late and even a couple of minutes late can be disruptive to a class, so the school is right to be bringing this up as an issue even if it's to do with a medical issue.

Have you tried light alarms rather than sound alarms? We have a Lumie clock; we also have a Hive-enabled lightbulb in the big light in our room which is programmed to come on dimmed about half an hour before the alarm. Either of those could be useful to you and DS then whoever wakes first goes and shoves the other!

Agree with pps that if you're regularly up to half an hour late you need to aim to be up half an hour earlier. You can reward yourselves somehow if you're ready early - my nearly-7 is allowed on his tablet once he's dressed/fed/coat and shoes on/bag found.

I have a Fitbit which vibrates on my wrist as a morning alarm - could this be an addition to the audible alarms you have? Though it isn’t that strong a vibration, perhaps there are similar devices specifically designed for that? Obviously I have no idea what would work with your sleep disorder

Just had a quick Google, something like this?

www.amazon.co.uk/Alarm-Clock-Vibrating-Shake-N-Wake-Personal/dp/B0027A573Q?tag=mumsnetforum-21

I know you said you are liasing with them but try not to think of them as the enemy they are just doing what is best for your son, after all it should not be his responsibility to wake you up.

I really think you need to find another form of alarm as the ones you are using at the moment are clearly not working effectively. You need to see them discussing this with you as a support network, they are trying to ensure he gets access to his education and you really need to work with them to find solutions to get him in school on time despite your health issues.

What happens if your son needs you when you are asleep? It sounds a bit dangerous. Can you afford to pay someone to take him to school? It might suit a teen who is already going.

I think the fact you say you are usually up to half an hour late probably means the school thinks you are capable of getting there on time. I can’t see why that half hour can’t be ironed out. It’s disruptive and harsh on your son.

I’m curious what happens when the clocks move forward for British summer time. Are you going to be an hour and a half late?

I don't really understand the bit about the school hotter tbh.

However reading this I am really concerned about you being alone with a 7 year old if you are this unwakeable. What would happen if he was ill in the night or if there was another household emergency? It sounds pretty much like he would be in the same position as a 7 year old left home alone overnight.

I do understand that some people don’t hear or respond to alarms. My daughter once shared a flat with someone who didn’t hear her alarm. The neighbours thought it was a faulty fire alarm. 😂
The girl would even hear my daughter hammering on her door asking her to turn the alarm off. It was ridiculous.

If your sleep disorder is that bad, can you get help from social services? A carer sent round to wake you up?

I’ve yet to find a primary school where lessons begin the moment the door opens. Usually it’s a 8:35-8:55 doors open, then registration so it’s unlikely Work begins before 9:15. Are you arriving thirty minutes after that (9:45) or thirty minutes from when the doors open (9:05)?

steps. -attended sleep clinic .am currently trying 2nd round of meds,first lot made me vomit but otherwise-no effect.
a jotter= a lined paper classroom issue written excercise notebook
(I have only outlined the sleep symptoms /effect of it on my son.there are other issues too.) i have already contacted social services ,met with a family support worker-have no idea what support could offer.still dont-shes back on monday week(?)
i just discovered sonic boom shake awake alarm-its on order.i have hope. d/s is not equivalent of left alone at all. I do not wake c/o alarms. my older ds is 22,neither him nor little one have ever been unable to waken me. ..with no disrespect,this wasnt so much about trying to explain a disorder that i dont understand.I asked if abu that they wrote it in the "snapshot"(maybe three examples of classwork-over each year.presumeably a keepsake style record for son

Whilst you say it is not a thread about your sleep disorder it is very mush a part of the problem so it is obviously going to be discussed. I still think it is fair to record the fact you have difficulty getting your son to school on time in a record about your son. I know you said it is not his fault he is late, but the bottom line is that it is going to impact his education greatly whether you think it is a problem or not and therefore it should be recorded.

If your sons have always been able to wake you could you give them the alarm clock and then they come and wake you? Not ideal I know but an idea.

If your son is regularly half an hour late then your alarms and ‘getting up’ process needs to start one hour before what you do now. Your son is missing out, a lot. He is disrupting the whole class on a regular basis. I suspect you will find the school will have little sympathy for you.

Does you 22 year old live with you?

Could your 7 year old have an alarm and wake you up?

I don’t think the school were unreasonable to write 'article missing due to late coming’ in his book. 🤷🏻‍♀️

d/s is not equivalent of left alone at all. I do not wake c/o alarms. my older ds is 22,neither him nor little one have ever been unable to waken me

If your DS can always wake you without any problem then what's the issue? Give him an alarm clock and tell him to wake you at X time or there will be some sort of consequence.

Are you really telling me that you can't wake even with numerous alarm clocks but (for example) your DS crying or being sick in another room would wake you? Because to be frank I don't believe you.

I have this same problem. I bought that sonic boom alarm clock you mentioned op. I haven't tried it out yet (haven't needed to be up for anything) but I am hopeful.

It's hard being this way because most people don't understand that it isn't laziness or refusal to get up, I literally sleep through alsrms without hearing them. It is sleeping like you are dead as you say. I had never considered seeing a doctor about it before.

I understand the schools frustration, a child being half an hour late most of the time obviously is no good. Maybe like others have suggested if your son has the alarm and then he comes and wakes you? As well as having your own alarm, and perhaps this going off about 30 mins before you need it to.

Well, I have no idea what a 'snapshot jotter' is, but, (again, if I have read this right, as your OP is really confusing), yes, YABU to rant at the teacher recording a fact - your ds wasn't there at the time, so that piece of work wasn't done. That is a fact.

Am also wondering why your ds can't have an alarm and then come and wake you if they have no difficulty waking you up when they need to.

Thank you for all response,they are all appreciated. A "snapshot jotter" is a lined notebook which the children write in,covering examples of their learning progress.like a mini overview\diary. over a school year.as i said i always ask for possible catch up at home work to be sent.so in this instance there was a possible workaround soloution. It was also,remains a fact that I am his only parent-and brought this issue to their attention before enrolling at school(changed head teacher). i am glaringly aware of it not being ds fault/choice.not being even close to ideal.its not actually a choice for me either-tho i am ultimately responsible
no ds1 has moved away for last 2yrs- doing english at uni.he calls of a morning-phone ring/alarm clock=same situation. i know it sounds..implausible (so a a great huge thankyou to those who indicated similar /recognise it- )
ds2 is happy,pleasant and works once he gets to school.given the choice he wouldnt go.so..tho he could wake me..he will avoid it. im sorry i'm very bad at saying what i need to in simple consise script.

as i said i always ask for possible catch up at home work to be sent.so in this instance there was a possible workaround soloution.

Rarely will the task be a written worksheet or something that could just 'be sent home' though, and, even where there is a sheet, it will be as a follow up to what has been introduced, or talked about before. That really isn't a 'solution'. What you need to focus on is a solution to getting him there on time, not how the school can somehow pretend in his jotter that he was there for something he wasn't. That is a fact - he missed that part of the day. The point is, that things so often build on what was introduced at that time too, so it impacts throughout the rest of the day.

If your son is late to school he will miss the 'teaching' part of the lesson and not the 'worksheet' part, if you see what I mean. So sending a worksheet home is unlikely to be that helpful.

If he was in my class he would miss guided reading, which we do straight after the register. This would be a shame as it's concentrated learning time, sometimes with an adult, sometimes working in a group.

Arriving at school late is also disruptive for the whole class, but most of all, is often upsetting and embarrassing for the child concerned.

Please do whatever you can to deal with this problem, and don't just get angry with the school and his teacher.

given the choice he wouldnt go.so..tho he could wake me..he will avoid it

This is where you need to step up and do some parenting rather than blaming the school. Lots of children will try their best to avoid things that are essential - cleaning teeth, getting ready for school, etc

Set some rewards for if he does wake you up and consequences for if he doesn't.

Maybe rather than phoning you to wake you up, your ds1 could call ds2 to remind him to wake you up and make him stay on the phone until he has woken you.

My mum had/ still has this, Op. Was never so much of a problem for us as when we were little my dad got us up and on the school bus (we lived abroad and took a bus from 4), and when he couldn’t do that for work we got ourselves and mum up.

She’s found the sonic boom alarm does work for her (eventually), and we also found when we were kids trying to wake her that switching the tv on sometimes worked. Could you stick a tv on a timer switch?

But yes, I do think that given the snapshot is a keepsake type thing, the teacher WBU to mention it.