hmmm..

[tolerable]

OK.Try to condense.I have a long-standing/not too manageable sleep disorder-ins and outs aside; i sleep like am dead. If left to it,probli wouldnt get up very often at all. Alarm clocks cover my window ledge,top of wardrobe etc..as much use as none somedays. Biggest prob is school. my ds is 7. tho great once he gets there is not overly enthusiastic about going. on the worst days,alarms ring,phone rings..but pretty much it requires one as persistant and relentless as my boy to wake me. This isnt a new problem.school were pre-warned its a problem area. (i am lone parent,no family or friends here)Whilst appeared really understanding at first-in practice-they arent. i got took in heads office-she had made a colour chart indicating late days with contrasting colour of on times. i wasnt particularly joyous and only managed to say "wow,did you do that yourself". i liase with head,class teacher-eg doc changes my meds.i get him detail how long to stop one on,how long new one to kick in..its very trial and even more error. my aibu is on friday the kids got "snapshot"jotter home that has pieces of work from points throughout year.at end is a parents comments space.its scotland,wee nicola has already got every child coded and on system..presumeably the snapshot will only actually be for sons use in future. the teacher has written "article missing due to latecoming"..i am inclined to ..rant..photocopy the latest "pinnpoint header doctor assesment" its not ds fault hes late(is usually half hour tops).i always note his homework or include letter requesting "catch up"which we can do at home. never ever get any.aibu-thinking they are,my son lives with me, 24/7,i dont pretend i think lates ok,i dont think this was place to reiterate it.i want to respond.wtfdo i do?

my older ds is 22,neither him nor little one have ever been unable to waken me.

Right well there is your solution.

Give all the alarms to your son. Set them for much earlier than you need to get up and tell him that he is to wake and come and throw a cup of water over you every single morning.

Your child is half an hour late and in Scotland this is ten percent of his schoolday. I think you need to adjust your routine to start everything half an hour earlier. If he is dragging his heels before school, and doing fine once he is in, then it sounds as though the situation is affecting him a lot. He might not continue to do well in school if his lateness persists.

The HT was trying to show you how it is impacting on your child. And you have seen from the comments in his jotter that it has had an impact in that some of his work is missing. Perhaps they are hoping that you will be galvanised into finding a solution such as those suggested further upthread.

You need to make your 7 year old your carer and make him responsible for waking you at 6am.

There is no reason for your child to be late if you get him to wake you in plenty of time.

The bottom line is he can’t be late for this entirely predictable reason.

It might be worth talking to social services about him getting recognised and supported as a young carer.

ok. ds2 is 7.therefore doesnt have a phone.i dont allow tv or tablet in bed,he goes around for 8pm.we do,story and cd of choice on for half past..the sample shots included one pasted in sheet with multiplications and divisions. one written item about a visit to an author at local libuary which we went on last week(i was parent volunteer walker) so they did short "when i met" type writing. I honestly am NOT expecting anyone else to shoulder the blame for what i know is my responsibility here. i repeatedly,relentlessly try to ensure we improve the time keeping.i love the reward idea-hes very easily swayed with even just a smiley sticker so will try that(i think because of guilt it hasnt praps occured to me to transform him. at the moment he is fairly laid back and unphased a t going in late(i hate it). i dont know which "examples"were missing from his book. i wont rant at school.the parents comment sheet is pasted in -so- i am going to point out that as ever aware of timekeeping issues and making every effort to reach a cure/fix( to extent ive noticed a neighbour passing by to collect his newspaper from round the corner shop at 7.30-7.45.We got chatting outside earlier and he does this daily and kindly agreed to rattling our letterbox on his way past. its not a reetdeetdeet sound so may possibly waken me.it will waken ds.so..going to colour in the days and see what "reward"we can agree on.brill.thanks

6am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why???????????? we can getup at 7.45.have time for him to eat breakfast,dress,clean teeth n i make his lunch pack.leave here 8.50 and get there before bell.i think ds is NOT getting it put on to his shoulders ,ill go with reward chart-but its unfair weighing him down(there is a hundred unmentioned back story reasons why i feel like that)

6am is not early if you have difficulty with organising things to be at school on time. I’m always chronically tired and set alarms at regular intervals to make sure I get up and to school on time. People are offering solutions. 7.45 is too late and clearly not working.

OP do you sleep with your window and curtains open?

If it takes you a long time to wake up then setting an alarm clock for 6am isn't that early. It will probably take you until 7am to get out of bed.

Your son needs an alarm clock in his room and he should wake you so he can earn his smiley sticker. A traditional alarm clock from argos or B&M costs a few quid so not that expensive. You need to get into the habit of getting to the school gates by 8:50am. Your son probably thinks it's great that you have this sleep disorder so he can get out of school! You need to lead by example, yes you have this disorder but you're not going to let it disrupt his education. A mindset change is needed.

I do understand you don't want givve the responsibility to ds to wake you up but surely it's a better option than him constantly being late. Plus its giving him a small amount of responsibility - the same as getting dressed or brushing his teeth. You could even include waking you as part of the morning routine of things to be done. My own kids have a tick chart that they ticknfor brushing teeth, getting dressed and taking their meds. Then they get treat at the end of the week.

If he likes stickers, give him 1 for waking you up every morning and then a treat at the end of the week.

People are only suggesting 6am as you say you are late so often.

"i think ds is NOT getting it put on to his shoulders"
Nobody is suggesting he gets himself up and out. You said there is no problem when he wakes you, so, by him having an alarm clock, it is another , additional layer of 'alarm' t make sure you are up in time. You, as the parent still then make sure he gets washed, dressed, fed, and out the door on time.
People have been helpful on this thread but your replies are beginning to sound like you aren't actually looking for a solution at all.

6am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why???????????? we can getup at 7.45.

Respectfully, you can't, as demonstrated by your being up to half an hour late. A 6am alarm gives you an hour to wake up fully plus half an hour to wake DS up fully plus normal morning routine.

I have sleep issues and if I need to be up for 7 I have to set my alarm for half 5. And even then sometimes I’m not up in time.

My late dad used to have a vibrating alarm under his pillow - have you tried that?

I set my alarm for 5am _ to get up at 6:15 because I hit snooze.

What's wrong with 6am? Sounds like you are making excuses rather than trying.

Just an additional, but if your sleep disorder is a diagnosed condition, I'd get a GP to write a letter confirming this and send it to school for their file. I would hope you are getting support via the GP for this condition.

Schools are under a LOT of pressure from Govt. to get kids in on time hence the school bringing it up with you in the hope that you will take further action to prevent it happening.

As to the work missing, YABU as he did miss out on doing the work as he was not there. It isn't up to the school to send work home for what is a snapshot of work being done in school at a certain time. BUT IF for example a child was sick that day of the snapshot and they made allowances for the that child to do it another day (and didn't put a note that child was sick in the jotter) then the school would be unreasonable in not allowing your DS to do it another time.

Why do you think that a neighbour rattling your letterbox will wake you up when a multitude of alarm clocks cannot? Genuine question

We live a 5 minute drive from DS's school. We get up at 7 am to ensure he has time to get ready, have breakfast and get there for 8.30.

Why are you aiming for (and missing) a 7.45am wake up time?

Even aiming for 7 am would put you 45 minutes ahead and ensure the 30 minutes late would not happen!

I feel you do not want to help yourself. bit 'woe is me, I cannot help my disorder'. You have a disorder, learn how to work with it!

Well clearly 7.45 is not giving you enough time or he wouldn't be consistently late, would he? 🙄

I used to have a problem getting the boys to school on time. One of my children has ASD and it's very difficult in the morning. This year we put them into breakfast club and they haven't been late for school once. Well they are late for breakfast club, but not school. Interestingly we are the same amount late for breakfast club as we were school.

I'm not saying this will work for you, it's also not the same situation. My point is if you shunt the time you are aiming for forward and get up an hour earlier you won't be late.

All excuses. My meds make it hard for me to wake so I set alarms early like other posters have said. This is all 'poor old me' many people with disabilities learn to live with their conditions including me certainly don't let it impact my kids education

peterpiper- I dont know why/how i sleep through alarm clocks/phone ringing "shrills" The letter box bangs and i'm on my toes. worked this morning. wee one too.notalltims-i have the window open a little and the blinds are open.
7.45 is adequate time on the mornings that go to plan. I simply asked why 6am as seems extreme. Having read through the next lot of comments i see that aiming for earlier would actually be quite a good idea. snosky-i have now ordered a shakeawake style alarm ,i think its similar thing..so thankyou..Shawshank. i do have a letter from gp and one from specialist -i will copy them for school files purposes.
As for woe is me/excuses/not trying then...thanks for your judgement. "everybody else manages" is already obvious,not once have i said i expect special treatment,and certainly didnt invite sympathy.If you scroll back,attempting to fix the sleep thing on mumsnet was not the plan . to be clear-i am fully aware that its not good enough and utterly unfair on ds.
The op was aibu objecting to them writing the lates in ds record book and omiting copy work we could have realistically caught up on at home. Thankyou to all who have took the time to reply.there has been some very useful suggestions ,much appreciated.

not once have i said i expect special treatment

But you are expecting special treatment from the school and teacher!

Maybe you both need to go to bed earlier so you wake up naturally early enough? 7.45am is pretty late to get up on a weekday, aim for 7am and see if that helps? Make DS bedtime so he's sleeping by 8 and yourself by 10.

chickenowner- not any more special than i ever was-as ive said. I had informed school this was a long-term issue-still-hoping-to -remedy from the very start,before enrolled there.There has been staff change and the new head doesnt have to be as understanding as the last. i know this is not ideal and continue to attempt to fix it.see gp,specialist etc I keep them up to date on where we're at with this. Again.my post was if it was really necessary to include a remark about poor timekeeping in the workbook- especially given the "missed"page could have been done at home.
kaytee, ds is in bed for 8pm on school nights.story and lights out for half past. my sleep hours are excessive.waking up naturally isnt a thing. ..yet. :)

Are you doing all the good sleep hygiene stuff? No screens, no caffeine, no heavy exercise, cool bedroom, tidy room etc? Have a wind down routine? To make sure you are getting quality sleep? Also make sure you’re spending a lot of time outdoors too. Walking, gardening, playing with DS etc.