hmmm..

[tolerable]

OK.Try to condense.I have a long-standing/not too manageable sleep disorder-ins and outs aside; i sleep like am dead. If left to it,probli wouldnt get up very often at all. Alarm clocks cover my window ledge,top of wardrobe etc..as much use as none somedays. Biggest prob is school. my ds is 7. tho great once he gets there is not overly enthusiastic about going. on the worst days,alarms ring,phone rings..but pretty much it requires one as persistant and relentless as my boy to wake me. This isnt a new problem.school were pre-warned its a problem area. (i am lone parent,no family or friends here)Whilst appeared really understanding at first-in practice-they arent. i got took in heads office-she had made a colour chart indicating late days with contrasting colour of on times. i wasnt particularly joyous and only managed to say "wow,did you do that yourself". i liase with head,class teacher-eg doc changes my meds.i get him detail how long to stop one on,how long new one to kick in..its very trial and even more error. my aibu is on friday the kids got "snapshot"jotter home that has pieces of work from points throughout year.at end is a parents comments space.its scotland,wee nicola has already got every child coded and on system..presumeably the snapshot will only actually be for sons use in future. the teacher has written "article missing due to latecoming"..i am inclined to ..rant..photocopy the latest "pinnpoint header doctor assesment" its not ds fault hes late(is usually half hour tops).i always note his homework or include letter requesting "catch up"which we can do at home. never ever get any.aibu-thinking they are,my son lives with me, 24/7,i dont pretend i think lates ok,i dont think this was place to reiterate it.i want to respond.wtfdo i do?

Look, I get that you can't sleep. But can you at least try to punctuate and use paragraphs?!

shesakeeper - cant you read? i have no difficulty whatsover in sleeping-its waking up and/or staying awake i struggle with. I Hate to be rude but im no that fond of being ridiculed neither i did check guidelines and it never mentioned punctuation or how irritating trying to type can be. ...

You do expect special treatment. You've asked for work to be 'sent home'.

Do you think that that's all teachers do? Do you think the children can learn without input, just being 'given' the work?

You were rude to the head teacher who was only trying to show you how much school and education your son is missing.

"Did you do that all by yourself?"

I bet she was dying to say that yes, she did and she also managed to get to bloody school on time.

Can't the boys father help? What time(s) do you work?

There are alarms for the deaf which involve vibrating mattress pads. I saw an under pillow vibrating alarm for £15. There are also the wrist ones.

There is also one called a bed shaker oo er Matron! I could do with one of those

If you have all four going that’s close to being shaken awake.

OP, you say that your question is whether the school is BU, but that really depends on the steps you're taking to avoid the situation. If you're doing everything in your power to get there on time and the school are aware, they're BU.

However, you sound like you're leaving just enough time to get there just before the bell goes when you already know that, a lot of the time, you need more time to wake up. Tbh that would be a bit unreasonable in my view even if you didn't have the sleep disorder because there are always things that can go wrong/take longer than necessary (e.g. shower takes a long time to heat up; DS suddenly remembers he needs to bring in something or that it's non-school uniform day and you can't find a pound coin anywhere in the house. Both examples based on real life events).

I agree. If it’s never more than half an hour that means it’s not a case of you not being able to wake up, just that you aren’t getting up early enough.

my original question was am i being unreasonable in thinking its unnecessary for the teacher to have written the comment about latecoming in the snapsshot jotter. (kids copy a few examples of work over a year,each year then recieve it before go to high school./track progress.
as i said-the school/teachers/myself and ds are aware that c/o sleep disorder this can be a problem area.-i'it seems since they already have it "recorded" i just didnt think it was required in his ""personal record" . and didnt know what if anything to respond with in the parent response section. having calmed down-i will respond to the work progress and speak . There have been some really useful replies on here tho and crispsfortea -" If you're doing everything in your power to get there on time and the school are aware, they're BU. " thankyou i know i dont write properly or well,that answered my question .

Nothing practical to add but as a sleep disorder sufferer myself I sympathise. People who have not experienced it have no idea how much of an impact it can have and very few of them are successfully treatable.

My sleep disorder is different but has led to me having to sleep in a different room to DH. It's fine at home but so much hassle when we go away.

Make sure the hospital are aware of what impact it has on your home life. I went to Papworth for my sleep study and they were great (even though they can't treat me).

Yes, you are being unreasonable.

Tolerable

What do you think of the products I suggested?

YABU I'm afraid, you seem to be in a different groove to the rest of the world if you honestly think 6am is early to get up. You can't just wring your hands and say it's not your fault you can't get up. You need to find a way to be on time and allow yourself extra time to wake up instead of asking the rest of the world to accommodate you.

I don’t have a sleep disorder but I have a disability and a long term illness which means I am fatigued. Mornings are a struggle, so I really sympathise. I understand it must have felt horrible to be confronted like that. However, you’ve actually had some helpful suggestions which I hope will help you move forward with a solution.

fifivoldemortschavvycousin...thankyou-your suggestions were great.i have ordered a sonicshaker one now,had no idea of the wrist strap type. I'm going for that next too. the bedshaker made me blush,lol lol.do you have a hotline no at all?
barbie222 6am is early to get up. its also late to get home. I wasnt wringing my hands-at no point at all have I suggested i am unwilling to try anything.or that i think its even a wee bit ok. i think its incredibly unfair on my son.i think it is of very high importance and am distressed by it.i have never gave up on hoping a solution with this issue is attainable(the door rattle worked today-so a positive)In my op i said i was trying to condense-tho wittering is a curse i bear.alot of details were omitted re;health,frequency of lates,medication,effects,fails etc.etc..ive already been reprimanded for my inadequate litery (throwing rubbish!?/i cant spell either. I will so say its not my choice or my fault. now i cant remember if i also originally said i sleep frightening lenths of time if left to do so.i am scared to sit down before bedtime incase i nod off. its not a nap,or a snooze,or lack of routine reasonable bed time.im heading there now.i am almost glad to be in a different groove from the rest of the world if thats how it works.I didnt ask to be accomodated,simply that my child is not condemned for my failings. if that sounds arsey(and i i think it does)im sorry .its not personal..i know for certain that i tried to avoid any sort of judgement and condemnation responses. the op wasnt about opinion advice or requesting attack on me or my pain-in-bum sleep in issue. as i said before-i was raged that it was recorded in the keepsake book.

OP have you not realised that the school/teacher writing 'article missing due to latecoming' in your child's book has actually made you do something about your waking issues!

I suspect that they were fed up of your excuses, fed up of making allowances and decided to see if this worked.

It seems that it did.

Very interesting...

chickenowner. I'm glad you find it very interesting....
What i dont get is your overwhelming smug arseyness sounding almost gleeful. Or that you find it ok or professional( and back to my original objection),fair on ds that this be recorded in his show-as-you-grow type book PARTICULARLY if used as a snideline approach to expressing any sort of fed uppery or excusing my issues.
it seems to me that you have missed some key points- "waking issues" very much belittles what i actually described as a "sleep disorder" yes,i minimised alot of details,medical assesments,meds,treatments,ivestigations and out comes.you had the perogative of writing it off as lazy bitch that doesnt get up.
if...i thought for a minute ds school teacher purposely made this note to "play"with any sort of action and outcome re this i would probably change schools. As far as i am aware i have provided medical info detailing this to the school.
i dont know how you can find my undesireable condition and the effect it has on our lives ,especially that of ds as something which anyone has the right to get fed up with.
we slept in this morning.yes i woke at the door knock again,but stupidly sat down while the kettle was boiling and slumped until 9.05.all alarms had went off,most dont go off til switched. my child was asleep at 8.15 last night and had slept through 2 continuous alarms in his room.i find that a worry...interesting
i understand that sometimes posts go up on this that may be unrealistic,obscure,made up etc..i dont understand attack style-unless looking for retalliation.so as much as that isnt really my bag..you can chew on that n pass whatever judgement you like. if you want a out there opinion on a snippet from what ive seen...you should lookin before you lookout. ok

The key point tolerable is that your son's needs are being neglected . He needs to get to school on time. If you can't sort your sleep disorder, then you need to sort a way of someone else getting him there on time. You are allowing your problem to disadvantage your child, STOP.

www.nspcc.org.uk/globalassets/documents/advice-and-info/neglect-matters.pdf

Why are you so cross with virtually everyone who has posted on here, tolerable ?

You have chosen to ask 'the world and his wife' - all of us a bunch of strangers on the internet - AIBU? Virtually everyone has said Yes, YABU. Nobody has been nasty (well, except there is no need to comment on punctuation, grammar, etc.), and lots of posters have made really sensible suggestion of how you can help your son.
Some through suggesting different ways of waking yourself up with alarms etc., others suggesting other things. You are just being arsey to everyone though. So why ask ?

The school have a responsibility to your ds.
You respond to their concerns by being rude to the HT
The fact is you have a sleep disorder. No-one is questioning that, but the other fact is you also have a responsibility to your son, to allow him to start school with his peers every day. Sadly no-one can make your disorder go away, so it is down to you to learn to manage it, like hundreds of thousands of people manage their conditions and circumstances every day. They might wish they didn't have them, but wishing they would go away doesn't solve the immediate issue, which is the fact that your poor ds is missing the start of school far too regularly.
Of course people don't know the ins and outs of your condition, so there is no need to be sarky when people suggest things that can't work and even less so when they suggest things that just might work if you were prepared to give them a try.

not fair pesilentialboundary. you cant possibly conclude that from info i supplied.As it goes not only have i expressed concern re doc and school i was also adviced by social srvices they feel they have no role in my sons life. he is NOT neglected,I dont profess that any late is ok. Despite which i auto converted to www.gov.scot/resource/doc/294630/0091104.pdf having read through it-we probably qualify as p3.thre is serious difficulty at home?
Also,thank you. i honestly wasnt aware of this info and am resorting to calling around info on page 7 to assist in ensuring attendance on time.its absurd to suggest i allow it to disadvantage my child.i hate it.i have repeatedly requested some sort of help avoiding this

815 is a late bedtime for a 7 year old. Especially if his mother has trouble waking.

Look, I don’t have a sleep disorder but I’m lazy as fuck in the morning and have an alarm go off every eight minutes from 7am till 8am. You mention the repetitive nature of an alarm going off not sure along you - possibly a dumb question but have you tried the radio? In conjunction with the bed shaker maybe?

I think it’s reasonable to ask your son to try and wake you. Maybe he can have his breakfast and spend a few minutes banging a pot in your room? Or jumping on your bed? You might not want think it’s ‘fair’ but it’s less fair if he’s missing significant time at school because of the lateness.

back for good- i am not nasty. if anything i tried to condense and avoid judgy/opinionated responses which diswayed from my initial aibu query,not once have i said i accept or expect anyone else to put up with this rotten situation.i repeatedly have stated i dont think its ok. i actually hate it. what i still fail to see is why people rather than ask for extra details ..launch condemnation and guilt onto a query which is squint from original track. as it goes i hate the two responses which are entirely cheeky/defensive . i work where at all possible along with the head,ds teacher at every opportunity,there is no other cause for concern regarding ds.as i said,i raised his db ,that was also more often than not-alone-hes at uni now so its beyond unfair to suggest i think lates ok.

dianaprincessofthymyscira.he sleeps from around half 8 to 7.45 on school nights-goes bed later n up of own feree will before 7am on weekends,hes no more tired than responsible.i know am sounding awfi shurty right now-cos i am. im not ducking out of who is responsible,wasni actually asking wtf do do cos willing to pass it over to specialist sector now.im not lazy,when up i avoid sitting down to extent my latops in kitchen n im cleaning out cupboards prior to jumping in bath i already run n head down ready for next round

I don’t think YABU.

It was mean of the teacher to write about the lateness in your son’s jotter. I am sure she must have had a few bits of work to put in from all the hours he IS at school. So I would assume she is trying to make a point.

Perhaps she is at the end of her tether but you have a medical problem that you are trying to fix.

I do agree with PP that you probably came across rude to the headteacher though. Did you make that yourself sounds so sarcastic. Best just to act like you take it really seriously and set out the steps you are taking to improve in those situations I think.

Please try to make sentences in your replies OP, it's so hard to read.

Have you tried a vibrating alarm?
They work great and if you say it's your son shaking you awake that will wake you then that could be an ideal substitute.

Have a look at these. They're specially designed for deaf people to feel them so could be ideal for you?

https://www.deafequipment.co.uk/catalogue/172/Alarm-clocks?gclid=EAIaIQobChMInOy7ib-2QIVybztCh388AUdEAAYASAAEgKrSPDBwE

tolerable have you applied for PIP? Use the money to help get DS2 to school.

You need to get someone else to wake up your child and get him to school. You might not like being late, but you are late. This is unfair on your child. Every time he is late he is othered by it, no wonder he is not keen on getting up and going.

You have done really well getting DS1 to Uni. You need more help with DS2.