Fucking shitty tearoom job, lambing time and my mums new hip!

[Elfintreehuggywugger]

So, in short, I have a seasonal tearoom job, one day a week (which last year was a Sunday). They were really struggling for staff so I agreed that I would help them out on that one day. I was primed up to do it again this year, same day etc. They’re due to open up again on March 31st.

Anyway, my mum had a dodgy hip and needed a replacement at some point but with her only being in her early 50’s they were trying to prolong the operation, she had initially been told that they would try and do it at the end of this year. Anyway, she went for a scan on it around 5 weeks ago and they decided she needed the op ASAP so she had it done a week ago. Mum looks after the DC’s while I’m at work usually.

We are also due to start lambing in the next week or two and are currently calving, the two alway overlap each other. Anyway, all that aside, we’ve got an incredibly busy time coming up and DH can’t look after DSD (7) and DD (4) plus the work load, no way! As well as this, SIL, who comes and helps us with lambing etc has got pneumonia and has a long recovery ahead so we are down a pair of hands too. I rang my boss as soon as I found out about my mums operation. She said that I was being very unreasonable to ring 6 weeks before they re open for the season and that if they can find anybody to do it the she expects me to do it. She told me I was lying about my mums hip replacement being last minute and that we must’ve known ‘for months’. She also told me that my DH should man up and should be able to cope with both DC’s, which he regularly does but not at this tome of yes FGS!! I really dont want to fall out with her, my hands are tied and there’s no way I can work the sunday.

They were looking for cover on a Wednesday and I said that I would be able to do that instead because we’d only have DD2 and she’d be at school, it would be much more manageable for us. She said it wasn’t good enough.

AIBU?

Do you need the money? If not just give them 4 weeks notice in writing. You are not available, end of. No reasons or explanations, just no.

YANBU, she sounds a bit deluded to be honest. I'm assuming you first called her a month ago and they still haven't done anything to find somebody else?

If you want to keep the job, then obviously you'll have to work sundays if that's what she's stipulating. Personally I'd quit.

I hope your DM and SIL are feeling better soon

What's the worst she can do to you if you tell her to get lost?

No wonder they struggle for staff.

Lambing time is non negotiable. People just don't get that if they don't live it.

6 weeks is ample warning.

She doesn't own you, sounds like you don't even have a contract. People's circumstances change and giving them 6 weeks is pretty generous. You've offered a very reasonable alternative, if it doesn't suit it's not your fault. Tell her to do one.

Good luck with lambing, hope the weather improves.

She is so horrifically entitled that I Don’t even know where to begin! Don’t help her out she’s making her problems your problems and you’ve got enough of your own to be contending with at the moment. Her tea room is not your business phone her and tell her you don’t care about her or her problems and. It to contact you again she is literally the most selfish person I’ve heard of!

*not to contact you

I’m not really arsed about the job tbh. The folks who own the business are both in their 60’s and very set in their ways. It’s not a particularly busy tearoom (although it could be).

Don’t get me wrong the money helps a bit, but the farms doing well thanks to the work we all put in. Surely there would be a young lass or lad wanting a bit of pocket money on a Sunday?

Yanbu, she sounds batshit. 6 weeks notice is very generous.

i bet she pays really low wages as well, with that attitude. thats probably why she struggles to get staff

I wouldn't go work for someone who treated me that way no matter what the reason.

A firm: "I'm sorry, but there is no way I can help you this year." and leave it at that.

You may not even have to put in 4 weeks notice if it’s seasonal. Sounds like you are on a zero hours contract.

Just say thanks but no thanks.

I'm guessing you're on a casual zero hours contract.
Six weeks is massive of notice, she is being v unreasonable to suggest you are lying and for that alone I would say I cannot work for her at all this season.

Do you really need this money? Because it sounds like your family need you more than the teashop at the moment.

She's being ridiculous. 4 weeks is standard for giving notice in most jobs, certainly that kind of job. You've given more than that. Is she really of the belief that you can't ever leave the job . Her attitude would mean I wouldn't want to help her out at all, ever.

I agree - give four weeks written notice and be done with this job that actually sounds inconvenient and like you've been doing them a favour taking on a day when they find it hard to get someone else. As for being so rude to you - well they can shove it really. But do make sure you send them a written confirmation of your notice. The woman is being an arse saying that she expects you to turn up and do it, regardless. Your family comes first. End of story.

I am really struggling to believe that she’s going to find it hard to fill a seasonal, daytime weekend shift. Plenty of 16/17/18 year olds who would bite her arm off for that.

Just give notice and don’t worry about it. I guess the downside is you probably won’t get work there again.

I absolutely know that lambing time is non negotiable and there’s no way that I will be able to work that day. I just doubt myself so much. I know it’s daft but it’s been keeping me up on a night worrying about it. I’ve even been trying to find staff for that day myself. I hate letting people down but it’s just the way it’s panned out this year and it’s completely out of my hands.

I rang her in between mum being told she needed the op and when she actually went for it so they’ve had 5/6 weeks notice before they opened.

You are under no obligation to her.

You're doing it as a favour, your own livelihood comes first.

Especially at a time of a lot of health difficulties in your family.

Just tell her you can't do it at all this year and be done with it.

I have no contract at all so i could just leave, I just don’t want to leave on bad terms but it seems that that’s impossible.

Apparently I’ve cost them a lot of money because they’ve now had to advertise in a local paper.

I thought this was a pastiche of the Archers for a moment. You're under no obligation to her or to find her someone to replace you. You've given them six weeks' notice which is more than enough if you had a contract which I'm assuming you don't.

Casual labour is just that.

Please don't worry about it - sounds like you've got more than enough on your plate. Keep saying to yourself that it is not your responsibility.

Ffs. Advertising for staff is part of the costs of running a business.

If they can't budget for that, then that's their problem, not yours.

She sounds horrendous. Unless it’s the only job in the village and you’ll starve without it, I’d just tell her no.

And she struggles to get staff, you say. I can't imagine why...