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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fucking shitty tearoom job, lambing time and my mums new hip!

105 replies

Elfintreehuggywugger · 18/03/2018 09:29

So, in short, I have a seasonal tearoom job, one day a week (which last year was a Sunday). They were really struggling for staff so I agreed that I would help them out on that one day. I was primed up to do it again this year, same day etc. They’re due to open up again on March 31st.

Anyway, my mum had a dodgy hip and needed a replacement at some point but with her only being in her early 50’s they were trying to prolong the operation, she had initially been told that they would try and do it at the end of this year. Anyway, she went for a scan on it around 5 weeks ago and they decided she needed the op ASAP so she had it done a week ago. Mum looks after the DC’s while I’m at work usually.

We are also due to start lambing in the next week or two and are currently calving, the two alway overlap each other. Anyway, all that aside, we’ve got an incredibly busy time coming up and DH can’t look after DSD (7) and DD (4) plus the work load, no way! As well as this, SIL, who comes and helps us with lambing etc has got pneumonia and has a long recovery ahead so we are down a pair of hands too. I rang my boss as soon as I found out about my mums operation. She said that I was being very unreasonable to ring 6 weeks before they re open for the season and that if they can find anybody to do it the she expects me to do it. She told me I was lying about my mums hip replacement being last minute and that we must’ve known ‘for months’. She also told me that my DH should man up and should be able to cope with both DC’s, which he regularly does but not at this tome of yes FGS!! I really dont want to fall out with her, my hands are tied and there’s no way I can work the sunday.

They were looking for cover on a Wednesday and I said that I would be able to do that instead because we’d only have DD2 and she’d be at school, it would be much more manageable for us. She said it wasn’t good enough.

AIBU?

OP posts:
AaarmadillosWhy · 18/03/2018 11:22

The lucky calf! Mum poo’d on him hence why he’s a wee bit mucked up

That's quite a start in life - to have your mother shit on you!
Thanks for posting calf photos - the red one is so cute.

I think you should just tell them what you said here - but in a very calm way - basically that you do the job not because you need it but because you want to help them out and you know its difficult to find staff. You have given them a lot of notice and you are willing to keep helping them out in future but unless on this one off occassion they are more understanding, you will give notice.

Original poster
Elfintreehuggywugger · 18/03/2018 11:28

I’ve literally just had a girl contact me wanting some work. She said that she is able to do both the Sunday and the Wednesday which has dug me out of a hole. IVe warned her what she can be like and she said she’s worked for worse and that her and her fiancé are saving for a deposit on her house!

Thank fuck for that!

OP posts:
Original poster
Elfintreehuggywugger · 18/03/2018 11:30

Armadillos indeed! She pooped on me too haha!

OP posts:
MaggieFS · 18/03/2018 11:31

Wtf? You didn't cost them money having to advertise. You might have saved them money if you had been able to do it again though... if that was the case last year, I'd be asking them for your share of the saved money from last year! And six weeks is ample notice. She's the cow in the thread.

notapizzaeater · 18/03/2018 11:35

Who advertises in a paper in this day and age, she could have stuck it on Facebook free. Glad you've got cover now but she sounds horrible.

MrsMarigold · 18/03/2018 11:42

Tell her to get lost, btw are you a scriptwriter from The Archers?

Ginkypig · 18/03/2018 11:46

Well that was lucky

Gabilan · 18/03/2018 11:55

Who advertises in a paper in this day and age, she could have stuck it on Facebook free.

You don't catch everyone on FB. If you're in a small rural community the local paper is often the way to go. Plus, as a PP said, word will have got round about what she's like to work with. She'll have needed to cast the net wider and a newspaper ad will have done that.

Original poster
Elfintreehuggywugger · 18/03/2018 12:40

Hmm script writer for the archers? No!

OP posts:
Original poster
Elfintreehuggywugger · 18/03/2018 20:20

Arrrggggghhhhhh it’s just a never ending fucking nightmare! There is no pleasing this woman!! The girl who wanted the shifts messaged me earlier to say that they wouldn’t let her take on both shifts it was a Wednesday OR a sunday. By this point I’m starting to get pissed off so I rung my boss and told her that she could give the new girl both shifts. All I got in response was ‘I’ve got just enough staff to cover the shifts now so no one can afford to be sick, have any family occasions because we are now no better off at all.’

Apparently my attitude ‘stinks.’ It really doesn’t, as he been mentioned above I’m a people pleaser and will only display attitude after I’ve been pushed and I’m getting fucking close now. Anyway, I’m not going back and let’s face it, she can’t make me!

OP posts:
Willow2017 · 18/03/2018 20:34

She is kidding herself if she thinks she can stop people from being sick!

Dont contact her again just let her sort her own mess out. She may have lost that girl if she wanted both shifts and it would serve her right.

Of course if she contacts you you could always remind her indentured slavery doesnt exist now and you are not her employee as it was only casual seasonal work.

TheRebel · 18/03/2018 20:35

I worked for someone like this once, it was a seasonal job and he couldn’t guarantee me any work until the week before, but I had to keep 6 weeks free in case I was needed to work. I got an offer of a job elsewhere with better hours, pay and conditions and he got really stroppy when I said I was going to take the other job, and I gave him a months notice. He even refused to give me a reference for the previous time I’d worked for him, luckily I didn’t need his reference in the end.

CurcubitaPepo · 18/03/2018 20:42

I wouldn’t work for anyone who called me a liar....,,

MaggieFS · 18/03/2018 21:24

She can't make you go back and you also don't have to get involved in anything between her and this other girl. To play safe jot your notice in writing or on an email and leave it at that. Walk away and forget about it.

Spudlet · 19/03/2018 08:07

Oh great, so 'no one can be sick'. In a tearoom, she wants sick people to come in, spluttering and sneezing all over the food Envy

EduCated · 19/03/2018 08:20

Good grief they need to get a grip! That’s masses of notice for a no-contract, one day a week casual shift. And I think they’re being daft not to give the girl both shifts. A Sunday person wouldn’t necessarily be able to cover a Wednesday shift at v short notice if someone was ill. Perhaps if they hadn’t been dickish to you, you’d have been the ideal person to have on standby once lambing was over!

TheWernethWife · 19/03/2018 08:24

FFS OP - its a bloody teashop not Fortnum and Masons. Stop getting involved, they sound clueless and entitled.

falsepriest · 19/03/2018 08:24

Good Lord, stop faffing and stressing trying to find a replacement for a job you can’t do. Not your problem. Quit and be free and enjoy the lambs and look after your mum. (Not RTFT)

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 19/03/2018 08:27

I thought this was an Archers thread as well. Confused

Tearoom lady sounds barking mad. There is no pleasing some OP-
time for you to move on!!
You've done your best-now just dis-engage.

DartmoorDoughnut · 19/03/2018 08:35

Don’t try and solve it for them! They’ve been utterly horrible to you and can shove their job where the sun doesn’t shine!

Mkla1 · 19/03/2018 08:59

She sounds like the CF at a tearoom i used to work slave at. Sod her you owe her nothing. Your mum and farm are whats important. Good luck with the lambing and calving OP! My fave time of year! We currently have a shed full of the cutest little belted galloways and ewes ready to pop at our stables (working farm) and im currently on stand by again this year to take in any lambs who need extra care for whatever reason. Always hate having to hand them back afterwards though, they are adorable little things

krustykittens · 19/03/2018 09:04

OP, you can't walk away from this job on good terms, she is not going to let you. So quit, concentrate on the farm, and put all your energy into a good old-fashioned feud. Wink Nor would I be arsed finding her staff to replace you, that is her job, although she won't have many takers whens he tells them that they can't be sick or have family occasions! Have you tried scrubbing your hands with a nail brush and lemon juice? I keep ponies and it works a treat on my hands.

LadyFlumpalot · 19/03/2018 09:19

OP, you're a better person than me. I'd have told her to shove her job by now.

Just write to her, give her 6 weeks notice of your leaving, tell her to never contact you again and walk away from it.

Honestly, for a one day a week seasonal job in a cafe - it isn't worth it. As a PP said, advertise an open farm day to come look at cute lambs, calves, have a tractor/trailer ride and serve cakes and tea. I'd come! You'd make more doing that once a month than working all the Sundays in a year.

If you need extra help on the farm have you got a local agricultural college that could send students for experience?

sonjadog · 19/03/2018 09:47

Why are you trying to solve her staff problems for her? Just say you can't work and leave it with her. You do not have to find replacements for her. You do not have to work out her staff rota.

RebeccaCloud9 · 19/03/2018 09:53

Haha I thought this was an Archers thread too! She sounds like a nightmare and you're well rid.