Fucking shitty tearoom job, lambing time and my mums new hip!

[Elfintreehuggywugger]

So, in short, I have a seasonal tearoom job, one day a week (which last year was a Sunday). They were really struggling for staff so I agreed that I would help them out on that one day. I was primed up to do it again this year, same day etc. They’re due to open up again on March 31st.

Anyway, my mum had a dodgy hip and needed a replacement at some point but with her only being in her early 50’s they were trying to prolong the operation, she had initially been told that they would try and do it at the end of this year. Anyway, she went for a scan on it around 5 weeks ago and they decided she needed the op ASAP so she had it done a week ago. Mum looks after the DC’s while I’m at work usually.

We are also due to start lambing in the next week or two and are currently calving, the two alway overlap each other. Anyway, all that aside, we’ve got an incredibly busy time coming up and DH can’t look after DSD (7) and DD (4) plus the work load, no way! As well as this, SIL, who comes and helps us with lambing etc has got pneumonia and has a long recovery ahead so we are down a pair of hands too. I rang my boss as soon as I found out about my mums operation. She said that I was being very unreasonable to ring 6 weeks before they re open for the season and that if they can find anybody to do it the she expects me to do it. She told me I was lying about my mums hip replacement being last minute and that we must’ve known ‘for months’. She also told me that my DH should man up and should be able to cope with both DC’s, which he regularly does but not at this tome of yes FGS!! I really dont want to fall out with her, my hands are tied and there’s no way I can work the sunday.

They were looking for cover on a Wednesday and I said that I would be able to do that instead because we’d only have DD2 and she’d be at school, it would be much more manageable for us. She said it wasn’t good enough.

AIBU?

questa I thought it was an Archers story line as well!

I agree with everyone else. You’ve given her enough notice and you can’t help what’s happened. They might feel annoyed that they’re losing a reliable and trained member of staff but that’s one of the things that come along with running a small business and it’s not your fault.

Good luck with lambing. I imagine that’s hard work!

Well she can expect anything she likes, but you've told her you can't do it. If she doesn't have cover, that's on her.

BTW if she's had to put an ad in the paper despite being able to put a note in the window, ask at the church etc - it probably means word has gone out that she's a PITA to work for. Also nobody's fault but hers.

Beautiful calf. Well done on saving the life. Respect to you.

OP, you never follow the advice offered to you on here. You're still there with your DD when your husband can't control his DSD's behaviour towards her ... Surely you need some kind of outside employment so if you do end up leaving you have income. If not the tearoom, then what?

The lucky calf! Mum poo’d on him hence why he’s a wee bit mucked up. Had to take me coat off to lay him down for mum to have a bit of a fuss. Both in the shed now, warm, dry and doing well!

Aw the calf is so gorgeous.
The employer cow is not, I wouldn’t want to work for someone with that attitude.

They sound very like a couple I know who run a teashop and cannot keep staff. All their ex-staff are much happier and have found nicer jobs. Anyone in a farming community, whether they farm or not, should know what lambing season is like. It's hellishly busy and you do not wander off for a day to work in a tearoom!

What a nasty person. Please dont worry about tea room any more. Also if you talk to them again you shoukd say they have nithing to be angry at you for and you are offended that they call you a liar.

My mum has said that she will ring them up and put them straight if they try and question my honesty anymore. Her husband is actually a lovely bloke and understands but it’s her who is the problem.

Aw well done on saving little calf

Give notice anyway seeing as you have time then you can walk away knowing you've been totally reasonable. You can't help other people sometimes

Give her notice in writing then block her number. No wonder she can't get staff.

If she goes on about the massive cost of a local paper advert, I'd be so tempted to say something about the business clearly being in trouble if such a small cost is an issue, but to be fair I probably wouldn't think of it at the time. And anyway, there's no point in getting into a slanging match. You've been more than reasonable, she's being a twat.

Good luck with the lambing, calving, and hip replacing!

Thanks OP! I spent some time staying on a farm as I child and we were always allowed to watch the calves being born, so I love seeing the photos!

Loving the calf.
What a piece of work the Cafe owner is, you owe her nothing, plus you have enough on your plate at present.
Perhaps you could open your own seasonal cafe, in the future, at your farm ! 😄

Should have said, Tea Room.

Stay strong, Elfin. Don't be guilt tripped or railroaded. The work you're doing on the farm is important and working for these ungrateful people would mean you are spreading yourself too thinly. You have quite enough on your plate at the moment and the warning time you gave the teashop is more than reasonable (but these folk don't sound very reasonable, understanding or pleasant - so stop thinking you need to please them, fix their problems or value their opinion).

Love the calf piccie.

Agree with all previous posters, don’t feel bad, you’re giving plenty of notice and the way they spoke to you is rude.

YANBU at all. It's not as though you were going to be managing it full time.

And she was daft to advertise in the local paper so it's her own fault she's out of pocket. Your area will almost certainly have a few local facebook pages that would have shared a post about wanting casual staff for free. Card on local school/ college noticeboard?

Sugar pie
I was just going to say exactly that.
Is she as nasty to her customers as her staff. Advertise a farm day - looking at calves and newborn lambs followed by a cream tea - you could put her out of business!

Why have you internalised the idea that their business is your responsibility? You had a one day a week seasonal job. You didn't marry them.

Good gravy you dont belong to her!
Its a seasonal job they could just as easily have told you they didnt need you back.
Tell her to stick her job you have no contract or any obligation.
If they cant get their arse in gear in 6 weeks thats their fault. It will be pretty easy to get someone if they change thier attitude to thier emploees.
Good luck with calving and lambing such a lot of hard work involved, dont give that cheeky cow another thought. If she talks to her customers that way then no wonder its not busy!

It's casual work and she must accept that. You've given her plenty of notice and she's the boss and must deal with this. Don't you have a friend that might stand in for the one day.

Blimey. You were pressured into taking the job in the first place. She sounds vile. Her employment issues are not your concern. She should have simply asked you if you were free and if not, look elsewhere.

You're far too nice OP.. it's bloody hard being a people pleaser, I too have laid awake not wanting to let people down.
Give your official notice and think no more of it. She's relying on your being too nice to do so.

Part of running a business is factoring in the cost of advertising and training staff. I can't imagine why she's unable to keep them -coz she's bat shit crazy!-.
Good luck with lambing, the calf is beautiful and good luck to your mum on her hope, finally good luck to you handing your notice in 😀

Don't you have a friend that might stand in for the one day.

That's not the sort of thing you wish on your friends. Now, if there were someone who were incompetent and unpleasant and who would like a temporary job, that would be different.