In thinking men who work in finance all take Coke?

[breathedeepy]

OLD...

I met someone a while back who was a heavy Coke user, worked in finance. It's not for me, and not something I want around my child

A lot of the men who seem to message me on the dating site I use appear to work in financial services.

Obviously everyone is different but AIBU in assuming men who work in finance in the city are most likely Coke users or just being massively judgemental?

I was talking to someone who seemed nice online but honestly when I spoke on the phone he spoke at 100 miles an hour and I felt more like it was a job interview than social communication... which is why I'm thinking is he on Coke talking at 100 miles an hour? Or just very nervous?

I’m sure not everyone does but my brother used to be a broker & I know more did than didn’t. It was a very work hard play hard environment

So someone who you met had a coke interest so you have now worked out all people who do that job must also love coke??!! My postman is gay. Doesn't mean all postmen are gay.

I worked in finance for a while - a fair few years, up until last year - and drugs were pretty frowned upon in general. There were a few who partaked.

It's going to depend on the man and the culture where he works, I think.

Not all of them. But my experience is that a lot to most of them do.

No @Flutterbyeee I'm asking if it's more commonplace in that industry

There was a thread on here recently where the OP was worried if her partner beginning work in security (doorman) was reasonable for her to be anxious over his chosen profession and lots piled in to say that in that particular profession a lot of men are cheaters. Just wondering if finance tends to attract men with lots of money who can afford to have Coke habits or if I'm being entirely unreasonable with my assumption process

If someone's a nurse for example I tend to assume they're a caring person...

I don't think it's too wierd to wonder if certain professions attract certain people

Should have said that I also went on another date a few weeks ago... again someone who worked in finance, they seemed lovely enough, told me they were used to dating high flyers and dates normally went with them doing a lot of Coke but they wanted to leave that behind. Thought I would give him the benefit of getting to know him

He phoned a few days after and it was obvious he was on something and he behaved very strangely

So colouring my thinking currently that perhaps most men in this profession do

I wouldn't put too much thought into it.

My dh is a banker - senior too and has never —well not to my knowledge— taken coke. I’ve been married aeons and it’s never so much come up in conversation

Bought a house off a separated finance couple. As well as the signs of hard partying and the after effects of the fights that probably contributed to their separation, I've cleaned up signs of drug use amongst the endless randomly discarded lilets wrappers

But he’s a private banker - maybe the high street bankers are different

OP, you 'think', well done. . Keep trying, you'll get there, hopefully. Meanwhile try to avoid such ridiculous generalisations and perhaps, change your dating site.

I worked in finance myself yonks ago but as a receptionist, I didn't socialise that much as wasn't one of "them" in the office but my general view was that most of the men did, and about 25% of the women. Wasn't sure if was just that particular company

I worked in a Bank many moons ago. Coke wasn't in the general population as much as it is now and there was a lot of usage among my Male Colleagues.

I've got a relative, whose relative who got out of Finance because the lifestyle, including Coke was destroying his MH.

Mind you, I also worked in Health and when I did nights, a lot of the Staff was on drugs, particularly speed.

None of the people I've known in finances use coke and one of those is my former ex-BIL who is about as straightlaced as one can get.

I just asked dh who works in finance.... he said total BS.

I’ve worked in Insurance in the City for the last 20 years and I’ve very rarely come across it. On the few occasions I have it has involved women as well as men.

Having said that, I’m not interested in drugs so maybe I just wasn’t invited to join in! I know the signs though. It would lead to immediate dismissal if your company found out so a big risk.

Which Finance sector does he work in? Insurance is pretty conservative and that’s the industry I know. Perhaps it might be different in banking or stockbroking?

But for the insurance side of Finance...it’s no more prevalent than in any other industry in my experience. I think you are making a massive generalisation based on a couple of experiences.

However the main reason I think YABU is that your thread title is too sexist for my liking. Why single out men? There are plenty of women working in Finance you know. Mind you, we don’t get paid as much, but that’s a whole other thread!

Yes, I think it's more common in that industry

You are deluded if you think nurses are more caring than the general population.

Yes. Tbh I was being deliberately provocative with my AIBU title to attract responses but maybe saying people would have been better than singling out men @Whizbang

That said, my assumption would be that the majority of women who use MN and work in finance are probably parents and going to be less likely to either own up to it or partake due to that responsibility in their lives so its likely I would have got a thread of - I work in it and I don't replies

@caroldecker obviously not all nurses will be. I don't think it's that deluded to assume someone who chooses to work helping people, is overworked and for a relatively small salary in comparison to other professions is a naturally more caring type of person

Fair enough breathe. I do think the term people would be better, but thank you for explaining your rationale, I understand why you put it that way for the purposes of this thread.

Still don’t think it’s more prevalent in Finance though. The biggest set of cokeheads I’ve met worked in media. But it might have just been that group (of eejits)...I wouldn’t conclude all media people were at it as a result.

On a different note, are you sure these OLD guys are all being truthful with you about what they do? I say that because I met a hell of a lot of liars via online dating, so I’d take things with a pinch of salt until you get to know them better. Particular areas of pork pies: profession, age and most of all height!

However it’s worth persevering...I kissed a lot of OLD frogs, but met my lovely DP in the end and 3 years later we’re still really happy.

Good luck!

i doubt much of what a person claims to do on OLD is true.
rather than think all financiers use cocaine it's more like cocaine users claim to be financiers.

Yes I'm sure a lot are liars, I was just beginning to wonder if avoiding men who say they work in finance was the way to go for me to avoid meeting a ton of coke taking men along the way. Or if perhaps I'm particularly unsuited to men who choose it as a career.

"Finance" is very broad...

I've worked in investment banking and I would say cocaine/adderall use was much more prevalent in the 1990s and early 2000s than it is now. That era in finance was entirely different and is often called the "era of excess", because it was just that.

No doubt, there are cocaine (and other drug) users in areas of finance, but it's by no means every man; it wouldn't even be the majority of men.

True for my dad & his cohorts but that was the 80s. I worked in fashion & prevalent there too. Personally I think it’s probably quite common regardless of industry.