Child protection is EVERYONES business

[Absofrigginlootly]

I see it on here all the time

"Mind your own business"
"It's nothing to do with you. Get a life"
"There's nothing you can do about it anyway"

Child protection is EVERYONE'S business.

Just read this story from the BBC and thought I would start a thread just to highlight the issue.

Maybe (hopefully?) it will make people stop and think before they turn the other way and mind their own business???

Child sexual exploitation: How the system failed
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-43400336

"I was also going to the doctor and the youth sexual health clinic a couple of times a week for three years and getting the morning-after pill."
"Nobody asked any questions."
"I had two abortions and again, no questions were asked as to what was going on in my life."

Heartbreaking. And a complete and utter failure of all these health care professionals

"It is never the responsibility of a child to keep themselves safe; the blame lies with the perpetrator."
"As adults, it's our responsibility to spot the signs and take action to safeguard children, not rely on children to tell us they are being abused."

There's a great example on MN at the moment - someone raising safeguarding concerns with a school because they heard from someone else that a rich family who have lots of staff may force the child to learn an instrument and it makes him cry.

Jacksgirl it's hard though because often things like that can be a sign of emotional abuse. In middle/upper class families it is easier to "hide" abuse I think and emotional abuse is always one of those things which can be hard to "prove"
(I know, I lived through it with my own childhood. From the outside I'm sure a cursory glance everything would appear "perfect" - my DM certainly worked hard to create a perfect facade. But I think looking back now as an adult, the signs would have been there had an adult at the time cared to look)

Because people seem to assume that abuse is blindingly obvious when often it's much more subtle and these are missed time and time again by those who are taught not to "interfere"

My clients had teachers who knew things were tough at home, neighbours who saw the 40 year old man pick up the 12 year old repeatedly in his car, shop keepers who saw how much dad bought to drink each night, friends parents who looked after them and saw the many things the child needed and wasn't getting. I few have actually been in touch later in life .. "sorry, I knew something wasn't right but it didn't seem like my business".
I sit with these now adults and it's heartbreaking how many opportunities to save them were missed.

Also- you say it so flippantly like people Are reporting the obvious abuse. You know, many aren't doing that either .. the bruised, hungry, smelling child? Yeah people are "minding their own business" on that one too.

it's hard though because often things like that can be a sign of emotional abuse. In middle/upper class families it is easier to "hide" abuse I think and emotional abuse is always one of those things which can be hard to "prove"

Oh ffs. You just took an example ofwhere people absolutely should mind their own business and tried to slant it to your agenda.
You should be ashamed of yourself. You are trivialising real issues and doing the opposite of what you want to do. Well done you

sourpatch I agree.

My DH was emotionally abused and physically neglected - there were several incidents involving medical staff where they should have done something about it. But of course nothing was ever reported or done. I would like to say that was the 80s and things would be different now. But it's not

Huh???? Ashamed of myself? For saying that things like forcing a child to do something against their will that makes them cry can be a sign of emotional abuse?

Im not "slanting anything to suit my agenda".... I don't have an "agenda"

Well other than protecting vulnerable children.

What an odd response. MN is an odd place sometimes

I'm not tivalising anything. I know from personal experience how damaging emotional abuse - which does include forcing a child to do things against their will (happened to me regularly) - is to ones mental health

*Trivialising

@Fairyliz I don't think that is the only issue. There is also how the girls were seen because of their background.

When I was growing up a 13 year old girl with a boyfriend of 18 plus was not unusual, and nothing was done because it was normal, because they were a certain 'type' of girl from a poor area.

I've talked to people recently about a member of a band I liked and his treatment of groupies, of him allegedly targeting the younger girls, so again around 13ish, the ones that were troubled and acting in a way that these days would be called grooming. The response? That the girls weren't innocent, they knew what they wanted.

I don't know about anyone else here, but I see this attitude a lot, so I don't think it was just about avoiding accusations of racism, I think it was also about how the girls were seen, and some girls, because they are troubled, are poor, come from a certain area are more likely to be seen as 'slappers' who are up for it and out trying to snare a man rather than the vulnerable children they really are.

It is hard for the untrained person to see and understand emotional abuse. It is more gut feeling than for instance a bruise or cut.
Many times I wonder why SS cant join up the dots and see things for what they are.

Well, I do agree with you OP, in the case of sexual exploitation, it's obvious something sinister was going on, I haven't watched the programme you speak of,but I did watch the Rotherham one, and a documentary about rape some years ago, the very last piece of the programme there was a lady speaking from a rape suite, they kept evidence. There was a girl who was in the care system who systematically presented to them, this poor girl had been raped many times and she was perceived to be in a safer place than she was taken from. That stayed with me for months. Still makes me sick to think.

As a wider issue- I mean not only child sexual exploitation, but general child protection in the wider sense, yes we also owe it to the children around us to look out for them. Many a time I've known people to slip through the net because people don't want to get involved. The same happened with me as a child.
I think a lot of the reason why people don't get involved is the stigma of social services and the perception of being the type of person to have them involved with someone else's family. It's very rarely viewed as a concerned person doing what they think is right. It's often viewed as a spiteful act to destroy a family.

I do think things are getting better, what with the multi agency safeguarding hubs.

My biggest worry is however that I believe many of our vulnerable children end up even more so, once within the social care system. It's a scary thought that instead of being given a brighter future, there's a risk children can be taken into care and into worse situations granted that isn't every situation. Many children go on to have wonderful loving supportive families that their own natural relatives could never be.