To hate going on holiday.

[TheMasterNotMargarita]

First you have to decide where to go. Research flights/accommodation/vicinity to places of interest bar/beach etc. Tedious.

Then you have to pack. DH does the actual packing but I always have to organise most of it. Which is actually the best part for me, I quite like packing .

Then you have to travel. If you stay in the UK you have several hours trapped in a car with your nearest and dearest. Before you spend the duration of the holiday with them every waking moment.

If you travel abroad you are in enforced close proximity to other people. And I don't really like flying.

Then you spend all your time trying to amuse your children without their toys, trying to get them to sleep in a strange place. They are hot, the food is weird, the bed smells different.....

I like warm weather. I enjoy being on holiday. I just CBA with all the effort. I'd like a Narnia style wardrobe that I could walk into and appear out the other side somewhere warm.and sunny already in my shorts and t-shirt.

DH loves a holiday. I told him to go without me. (But he can take the kids 🤣).

IANBU am I?

(We never do hotel holidays. We always hire a villa with a pool, and a car. I woudn't fancy a hotel holiday with lots of other people drinking all night and poople sneezing over a shared buffet. My idea of hell.)

I love holidays, travel, and going somewhere I've never been before. LOVE holiday shopping and going to markets and unfamiliar shops.
I'm scared of flying, but it's exciting as well in a way.

BUT holidays with small children are not the same - it's still nice going somewhere new, but the fact that you can't relax for second makes it incredibly hard work. In fact you can relax even less than at home because they are more likely to get lost/be clingy/have trouble sleeping and all that.

My DC are quite shy and want to be with me, and they'd hate going a kids club. Plus they don't enjoy the same things, so that's exhausting.

Looking forward to holidays when they're older though.

YABU! But I take some of your points. I’m a travel professional and pre kids that mean free luxury travel all over the world (!) post kids it means going to Europe but we go every 6 weeks so I’m quite happy with that. I love the planning but don’t like the getting to the airport and flying and getting from the airport on arrival bit so I am totally with you on the Narnia wardrobe idea. Every other trip my parents come along and stay down the road and that is really helpful as it means we can off load the children - age 5 and 3 - every time we need a break. However even though there are plenty of tears and tantrums (sometimes mine too) and it’s not always easy being away from home comforts/toys i love is all being together and spending much more time outside than we can, in winter at least, back home in England. Gone are the days of lying on a beach or exploring temples but we just wander round, eating local food, playing on the beach, finding little playgrounds (which in spain often have a great cafe terrace to sit and drink cold beer and watch them from) and generally enjoy it.

I love going on holiday, just wish I could afford to go more.

I love going to museums and art galleries in other countries, looking at the architecture, trying new food, talking to people there. It is a break from the every day routine and, as my DH works full time, it means we get to spend time together.

I do love my home and my own bed etc but I get so upset at the end of a holiday that I almost always cry

I enjoy travelling but the getting there is such a nightmare.
We are still on holiday having not quite escaped the bad weather just over two weeks ago

We come for three weeks and it’s still wintertime here, so summer clothes and winter clothes are necessary.
So, lots of packing...takes days.
Clothes aren’t too bad but I bring a lot of herbs and supplements, that takes for ever
I’m having work done while I’m away...so all that to organise
Day of flight...up at 5am..to a raging anxiety over the snow and blizzard conditions outside
Taxi driver does a first class job considering the hour journey to the airport took 2.5 hours instead of 1 as main road had not been ploughed
Anxiety at fever pitch as we took off in a blizzard with a fair bit of snow on runway
Was just trying to calm down as we ascended through the clouds when the plane gave a funny shudder and a loud bang
A couple of minutes later, the pilot announced we’d been hit by lightning but we were fine.
After a g and t the pilot makes an announcement, we have to go back to Gatwick and change planes. This one needs to be checked
Anxiety up to fever pitch as I imagine landing in snowy Gatwick...Gatwick was fine...bright and sunny
4 hours later we are on our way
Everything goes smoothly until we get near Tenerife and it’s very windy, we are thrown around like a leaf in the wind.
I’m near to losing the plot...thankfully the plane landing is pretty good.
Get a taxi to our apartment only to find out we’ve been allocated another one. This has no balcony and not as nice as the others
Go downstairs for food, come back and u back , bed at 12-30
In the morning get a txt do we want to move to another apartment.
So we pack up again and move all our stuff upstairs.
And unpack again!

I must be ready to go home because I’m annoyed at the traffic I can hear on the street below. It’s very quiet where we live and there’s no cars can pass by our house, we are at the end of a small courtyard.
I can hear people in other apartments scraping furniture on the floors etc...heard that for the last two weeks.

I did say to dh shall we change flights and have another week when I heard about the bad weather at home but he’s ready for the off and he’s running out of medication.

If it wasn’t for the much needed warmth and sunshine I’m not sure I would be bothered either...and we have no kids to filter into the mix ( been there, done that many times)

If only the uk was as warm as the canaries.....

That's not what I said sidewayswithatescotrolley I said I can only think of the negatives when I hear other people talking about their holiday loves.

My issue is there six of us we have to find something for everyone. The kids would love a big hotel with pools and entertainment and the younger ones love caravans. Me and DH hate that side of it so we get the villa with a pool we want but it's usually somewhere hot near to things the kids will want to do. Its a fair enough compromise but it's not really what I want for a holiday.
We do had fun, I don't sit moaning and scowling, but or do I relish the prospect of going. I couldn't do it multiple times a year like some do, we don't even go yearly.

There's a distinction between 'loving holidays' and 'loving holidays with small children'. Sipping cocktails on the beach as the sun goes down is one thing, herding tired and grumpy kids is just same exhausting shit in nicer weather.

you mean your holidays with your young children aren't much fun. Mine are a lot of fun!

Nope, was a general statement, based on what I see each summer. Lots of frazzled parents with young children. It is always young children.

I think a lot of it is to do with expectation though.

I can’t wait to take ds on his first holiday (a holiday of any description would be amazing right now.)

I used to love them but with kids I just don't enjoy them anymore. I love the planning and the anticipation but the reality is always disappointing. The only holidays we all actually enjoy are camping and caravan hols in the UK - but DH doesn't come on those so I go with friends and the DC's friends (which is probably what makes it enjoyable!). This year the kids both have 5 day school residential trips (Isle of Wight and Paris), we are going camping and to Haven in early August then at the end of August I am taking the kids interrailing for a week in France which is a bit scary but hopefully it will be fun and it means we can move around so less chance of getting bored!

I couldn't live your life OP,!
I love my trips. I get a long weekend off every month. Finish Wednesday evening and go back Tuesday afternoon.
I make a point of going away at least once a month even if it is to local country's. E.g. France Germany etc. There's not much packing. Just a sports bag. I have a written listed that I need for every trip that I mentally tick off in the bag. All you need is skyscanner and air&ab

I go away foy goggle trips at least 3 times a year and try and go further afield or plan an adventurous activity. Sure that takes planning but it doesn't have to be rushed.

I like mixing it up. Sometimes I go by myself, sometimes with DP, sometimes with the kids or friends.
I love being curious. I'm not going to see landmarks but to be away from the day to day and being curious.
A huge part of my income goes on travelling and I would hate to lose that part of my life.
I have been like this since I was about 20. I'm in my 50s now so it's not exactly a fad that my mother said I was on!

I forgot to add I loved the holidays when the kids were small. I took them away every half term. It was so exciting watching them learn to back pack, ski and hike and camp or hostel.
I miss the days when t was all four of us all the time. The kids still come with us or me occasionly but I'm glad they are going off and having loads of adventures themselves.

YANBU. I've said to DH that as long as the kids are small there'll be no foreign holidays because as a SAHM, there's no break involved for me, it's just taking this show on the road but without a washing machine.

I love holidays. Love researching them, love planning them, but don't love packing and all the hassle of travel, so I agree with you there. I too would love a tardis or something that I could just step into and be there. Travelling by car is usually the least painful, travelling by air the worst. Having to be there hours early, lugging heavy bags, keeping an eye on the DC and making sure they don't run off, the tedious hanging around, trying to find 4 seats together, then the boredom of flying. Bleugh! YANBU about that. But the rest? Love it.

Re: no washing machine - why don't you rent an apartment with one then??? I always do (at least for trips longer than 3-4 days). Nothing worse than piles of stinky clothes everywhere.

juneau, can you plan mine for me?

wild, I think you've illuminated one of the key things here – for MOTHERS (as far as I read on MN anyway) a 'holiday' is so often same shit, different country.

I've read so many threads about family holidays where the woman finds herself stuck with not just organising the trip but facilitating it once there too, cooking, cleaning, washing, wrangling kids etc... while the DP/DH is free to get on with actually having a break.

Nope, was a general statement, based on what I see each summer. Lots of frazzled parents with young children. It is always young children

Don't speak for other people. That's your perception of them, they might well say they are having lots of fun. Frazzled does not exclude fun, and its only what you think you see.
You can only speak for yourself and anyone who has specifically told you how they feel about it.

I love holidays! I get 13 weeks a year and use as many of them as possible.

Some are in the UK; some are in Europe (we rarely go further); some with the teens; some without.

I love the anticipation and research of a destination, and we have packing down to a fine art now.

YANBU, but lots of folk love their holidays!

I'm with you op
So much faff to get anywhere
So expensive
And chances of catching a cold from the plane are very high

I'm particularly surprised when people ask me to go on weekends away when half the time is spent in transit

I've done a little bit of travelling, enough for me.

I'll be honest with a small child I like to keep it simple and only go on holidays in reasonable driving distance. DS is five now so up until this year, I've avoided anything more than 3 hours from home. He is every bit as happy in a holiday park where he can swim and experience a variety of play areas and shows every day as he would be abroad. In fact he's probably more happy as he's not dealing with time changes, hotter weather than he's used to and the hassle of airports, instead he just has so much freedom to just run about without any worries about traffic holding him back. In the last few years we've mainly shared a house with friends, so he has his best friends every day and I have a buddy to chill out with a glass of wine with when the kids are in bed.

I just can't see the point in stressing myself out to take him somewhere further away when he'd be every bit as happy in the next county. The plan in the near future is to get a camper and start exploring Europe. But in a chilled out way with no schedule apart from catching the ferry on the first and last day. We'll fly further afield when he's older and can actually appreciate the destination.

What makes it all a lot easier for us though is that we home educate. So we get to do everything off peak. I suspect the holiday park we go to in spring and autumn is far from relaxed during the school holidays and it's about quarter of the price. It will also be nicer to explore Spain, Portugal, Italy, Greece, etc in early spring when it's not too hot. Even Legoland/Disneyland etc, which are on the cards in the next few years seem like a totally different prospect on a Wednesday in late September.

I agree with a lot of what the OP says in terms of the hassle of organising it all and I definitely do not like packing or all the hassle of unpacking an putting it all away when you arrive an worse when you get home. Flying itself is fine, though the airport hanging around before and after and going through security /customs etc are a real pain, there is no denying that.

I do however actually really like spending some periods of time away from my home; exact location and weather are not really important as long as there is stuff to do and places to visit etc and I don't have to cook/clean.

This is because it is only when I am away from home that my "mental list" disappears. So all of the thinks like :

• must pay x bill
• must buy present/card for next family event", "
• check insurance and renew for car/house etc....,
• must pay car tax before xx date

• must get car serviced. How will I sort out getting to work without it?
• Check if DS needs new coat/shoes/clothes

- If new clothing required - work out how/when/where to get what he needs

• Must buy winter boots/sandles to replace my broken ones before the winter/summer arrives

- Is DS up to date with home work, must check? - need to clean floors/bathroom/change beds/wipe surfuces/dust again etc etc etc.

• Must do laundry/ironing for this week
• Need to do food plan and order for this week
• Need to fix blinds/light in xroom/ headlights" - whetever else bastard thing has broken in the house or on the car this time"

-Need to arrange xx lessons for DS as he asked for them

• Must arrange to meet up with xx or yy (or whichever other friend I haven't managed to see in months)"
• Must remember to get/fix that thing that mum asked for/needs when I visited last week
• Need to organise someone to quote for ...... (whatever home improvement thing I want to do but never seem to get round to organising )

If we stay at home for our holiday, the mental list just increases as I feel that I have time to get all this stuff done so I use my holiday time to do home/admin stuff that has built up. This seems Ok at the time but at the end I do feel sad that I have used my precious free time to just catch up on house/admin stuff.

On holiday, away from home, all that mental noise just disappears. It takes a few days for it to go and for me to relax. I need at leaast 10 days to really enjoy a holiday , preferably 14. I like to get up late (around mid morning) decide each day what we are doing and do things at a slowiish pace, really enjoying the things we do do. I am happy sitting on a windy but sunny beach just looking at the sea for several hours. I like to take my time when having meals, drinks. I do not like to rush at all

Usually by the end of the break I am mentally and physically refreshed and ready to come home. Short breaks and week long holidays are more trouble than they are worth to me usually.

I love holidays on my own. I dislike them with children, for all the reasons you listed OP. Luckily DD has now decided she doesn't like going on holiday abroad, so that's problem solved. We will just have short breaks in the UK from now on.

We can't really afford to go abroad anyway.

Side

I am fully aware of what is a general statement and what isn't.

I work in this industry. People, with young kids are often overwhelmed, and as a result disappointed and stressed.

I speak for a great many people. And I see it every single summer in the villas and holiday lets I manage.

If you don't like them, then you are not going on the right holidays.

If you don't like travelling far, don't.

If you don't like cooking, stay in a hotel or eat out, or just rustle up simple stuff. Abroad you get lovely cheese, tomatoes, ham and bread. You can buy nice food in the the UK too.

\If you don't like sitting n the beach, go to the Alps, walking, swimming in lakes, beautiful scenery.

Go somewhere set up for the age of your children. There will be other little kids for yours to play with, them you don't have to be on top of them. There a bunch of gite complexes in France that make it so easy. You open your door and they potter around in the garden playing on the equipment with the other children. All the parents keep an eye out, throw out the odd drink or ice cream and they are sorted.

If you don't like sharing a small space with your family, don't book all of you into one hotel room.

There are so many recommendations on here, to fit with what you like.